Hello friends. I've read and written a lot on the confusing, gaslighting, deceitful behavior and words of narcissists and dark tetrads. But then I realized after living with four dark tetrad parents that they aren't confusing at all once you understand their language and behavior. They make perfect sense once you accept one single fact. But you have to crack their code and I'm here to do that today.
The fact you must accept for it to make sense is that they are all about themselves. But not just in a self-absorbed way. It's not enough that dark tetrads get their way. It must happen at someone else's expense, preferably in ways that humiliate them publicly. And in ways that make the dark tetrad look like the victim and the actual victim look like the perpetrator. Other people must see the victim being made a fool of by the dark tetrad but not see that the dark tetrad is pulling the strings.
Which is where the confusion and gaslighting come in. The dark tetrad is secretly manufacturing and orchestrating problems with the innocent victim in the crosshairs. But it's so clandestine that no one sees her as the puppet master. The just see her victim hanging out to dry and flopping around on the invisible strings the puppet master is pulling.
Once you understand that the dark tetrad is the agent provocateur, all she says and does suddenly makes sense. Because she doesn't just lie, she is lies. Her entire persona is deception. She operates on double standards, mimicry, hypocrisy and trickery. There's nothing genuine about her except her genuinely psychotic and sociopathic behavior. She plays a long game and so the fraud is complete and complex. She's been crafting it for so long that she now believes her own lies
She has forgotten more wrong things she's done than most people have done right. She's convinced herself of her own and superiority, self-righteousness and above-it-all-ness. She's pursued her own agenda and directed her own one-woman play so long that it's all she knows. She's been exploiting, conniving, manipulating, taking advantage of others for long that she can't accept that she's not in control of herself, let alone anyone else. She has been living the hypocrisy and blaming others for her wicked behavior, preaching to them but not practicing, so long it's normal for her. She has been playing by two sets of self-serving rules so long that she now believes she's not only entitled to but that God actually approves this.
Once you get that it's all smoke and mirrors, that she's a self-deluded fraud and that she perpetuates her fraudulent schemes to shield the con, the pieces fall into place. And this is why she is so baffling to us. We are authentic selves. She's artificial. We speak from sincerity. She speaks with a forked tongue. We humble ourselves and admit wrong. She arrogantly keeps elevating herself higher and claiming complete exoneration and diplomatic immunity. We work for peace while she creates conflict.
She has been lying so long that not only does she believe, she has to tell more lies to sustain the false image. She has to keep gaslighting to preserve her concocted story of her own holiness. She does not want to act with righteousness, purity. She's dug herself so deep that there's no way out. And yet, because she's convinced herself, conned herself, she is now blind and deaf to reality. So everything she does, says and is, must be aimed at protecting and promoting this scam. She is so fake that she doesn't see how fake she is.
Even when she appears genuine, you have to know it's an act. Even when she does happen to say or do something for the good of others, know that it will come back to bite you. It has to. Her addiction to self will not let her let up, not even for a moment. Everything must revolve back to her as the center of the universe. She must be obeyed and served and you must be hurt to achieve it. She is god and a very ungodly one. Her world is built on untruth.
Once you accept that she's ALL lies, your truth emerges.
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