Tuesday, September 27, 2022

Cleavage-shaming modesty police are "Pick me" and "not like other girls"

 I've become a Reddit AITA fan and recently a poster asked if she was "TA" for calling out her co-worker's cleavage. The OP (original poster) asked if the co-worker "purposely exposed herself." OP indicated that other male co-workers were uncomfortable with the cleavage on display and asked her to talk to the offender (as you do?) So Ms. Modesty Police Woman confronted the "unprofessional attire" and basically body-shaming the cleavage sharer (as you do). 

Probably not surprisingly, the AITA consensus was overwhelmingly YTA. (you're the arschloch). The OP said that she herself veered toward tomboy and was good buddies with all the male workers, ergo her appointment to modesty patrol. Many commenters suggested that she was a "pick me" and an "I'm not like other girls" gal. (I've learned a lot of new urban terms since reading Reddit AITA :D) 

A "pick me" is a person who will do anything for attention or approval including putting others down. "I'm not like other girls" is a trope the internet has created to identify women who eschew "girl things" and embrace "non-feminine" things. All these terms are in quotes because they are stereotypical and very user-defined.

They polarize themselves as rebelliously different because they drive trucks or use tools or read (!?) and "other girls" as cartoonishly feminine because they wear makeup. The irony (and ridiculousness) lies in the conformity of the "not like other girls" "non-conformity. They literally almost have a dress code and the things they believe makes them different are so transparently alike. Also the things they believe set them apart, like reading or dressing like a "tomboy" are things most all women do. Their definitions are oddly outmoded. Even OP's term tomboy went out like 50 years ago. And dressing tomboy can also be very provocative itself (tight jeans, tight T-shirt, etc). So, color me confused.

 Women identified as "pick me" and "not like other girls" tend to be very self-involved and also lacking in self-awareness. They don't understand how silly they sound. Which brings us back to the modesty police issue (and believe me, we'll get more into cleavage and body-shaming later). The fact that the Pick Me OP had no problem body-shaming someone and actually feels right doing it, is bad enough. Don't even get me started on her inability to see that breasts aren't something you can hide let alone should. 

Thursday, September 22, 2022

How I lost 100 pounds by feeding cravings

Greetings on this lovely fall afternoon! A few days ago, I blogged about how I lost 100 pounds by feeding cravings. Yes, you read that correctly. If you follow this weight loss blog, you know that I like to write quirky, aphoristic titles. But it's not just to grab eyes. Fighting obesity is about breaking stereotypes and rethinking conventional wisdom to see if it really is wise. 

So, how I lost 100 pounds giving in to cravings: that just doesn't make sense, does it? That's how obesity started, was by indulging in said cravings, right? Yes and no. Cravings as those seeking gastric bypass on "My 600-lb Life" refer to, yes. Eating insane amounts of sugar, salty snacks, fried, processed and fast foods is a one way ticket to morbidly overweight. 

However, the cravings I'm referring to aren't for addictive high calorie, low nutritional value foods. Gastric bypass patients on "My 600-lb Life" confuse junk cravings with what their bodies really want: healthy food. I lost 100 pounds by yielding to those deep longings and also by really listening to what my body is requesting. 

The culprits that confuse us are sugar, salt and empty carbs.  All of these are highly addictive. So like heroin, they make us think we want and need them. Their voices scream pretty loudly. So loud that folks such as those on "My 600-lb Life" oblige them to the point of obesity. Only by listening past their noise can we hear the still small voice of our inner wisdom--call it the Holy Spirit, common sense or Al-Anon's higher power. 

Al-Anon has a lot to teach about weight loss. Intermittent fasting or calorie restricting, such as with the 1200 calorie diet I follow, are tools to achieve sobriety from food addiction. But it's about more than just calorie restricting. It's about what to eat. Listening to the body's plea for vegetables in many colors, whole grain fiber, protein and good carbs will lose weight and maintain a healthy weight. 

But having said all that, weight loss isn't just boring calorie restricting and salads. Cliffhanger alert: part of how I lost 100 pounds was by eating sugar and junk food. More later so stay tuned! 

Wednesday, September 14, 2022

How I lost 100 pounds and keep it off: do you want the good or bad news first?

 Hiya, friends! As you know, if you follow this blog that I lost 100 pounds 8 years ago (has it been that long??) When I first began to lose weight, I was warned that getting it off was the easy part but that keeping it off was harder. A few people even scoffed that I'd gain it back. Well, thank you, Queen Obvious and Miss Taken. First, it's clearly easier to begin than maintain a new habit and second, I did maintain my weight loss. And here's how: do you want the good or bad  news first? 

Okay, so I'll go with bad news. It's difficult to keep 100 pounds off. I gained some back. But the good news is it's not as hard as I thought. And indulging occasionally didn't plunge me back into obesity. I did gain some weight back after shoulder surgery and then lost some when I was sick with Covid 19. And then I lost some again and gained a bit, you get the picture. But more good news, I know what to do when I need to lose weight. Calorie restricting with a 1200 calorie diet has been the integral part of how I lost 100 pounds and kept it off. 

There were some Miss Nomers who said that calorie restricting doesn't lose weight. Apparently, it didn't work for them. However, the 1200 calorie diet worked for me. Dr. Now of "My 600-lb Life" uses it. So calorie restricting didn't work for you, or you didn't work at it? Because it's a mathematical and physical fact that less in means less on. 

Do I always follow it? Truthfully, no. But I do use portion control almost without thinking. It's become second nature to eat less. And eating less has had this cool effect of controlling hunger. I don't need as much to fill me up. In obesity, I could eat two and sometimes three plates of food. Now one is plenty. Calorie restricting helped me lose weight and redefine eating. Now I eat when I'm hungry. If I'm not, I don't. Gone is the mindless snacking urge. Food isn't a friend or a solace. It's fuel. But I do still give in to cravings and I'll discuss in another post how that's a good thing for weight loss and overall health. 

Monday, September 12, 2022

Obesity and low self-esteem vs. self-confidence and weight loss, latter please

Hey friends, in today's episode on how I lost 100 pounds (without gastric bypass), I'm going to explore links between obesity and low self esteem and self-confidence and weight loss. (I'll take the latter for 500, Alex!) So if you need to lose weight, like I did, being 100 pounds overweight at one point, it's important to look at roots of weight gain and obesity. One plus-size factor is low self esteem. I'm using not only my experiences but also those of gastric bypass patients on "My 600-lb Life." 

Participants on "My 600-lb Life" share several things besides morbid obesity: low self esteem, zero self confidence and what Reddit would call weaponized incompetence (more on that later). Patients seeking gastric bypass surgery may come over as arrogant, pushy and controlling (that's part of the weaponized incompetence). That's to cover the helplessness and hopelessness they feel. I know the feeling of being overweight, out of control and powerless to do anything about it. 

So, in a way, it's true. Al-Anon teaches us that we are powerless over people places and things. But in this, Al-Anon references things outside ourselves that we seek to control. Within ourselves, we can find power to manage choices and behaviors. In fact, Al-Anon says that's all we can control. I can choose calorie restricting, intermittent fasting or some kind of weight loss diet to manage obesity. I can lose weight, if I'm willing to do the work involved. 

However, as "My 600-lb Life" shows, that sense of powerlessness, stemming from low to zero self esteem, that powers obesity and prevents weight loss. Gastric bypass patients tell and definitely show, that they having no control over eating. It's like someone is force feeding them. One of my clients is morbidly obese. He literally pounds one beer after another and downs plates of food as if an external force controls his hands. Yes, it's heart-breaking. But, I have another client who was morbidly obese and was able to lose weight. And the difference, that I can see, is self-confidence. The former lacks it and the other has it. 

Part of how I lost 100 pounds was to discover self confidence. I won't say rediscover because I never had it nor learned it. So how to learn self confidence? By talking back to the voices in my head that say I'm helpless and hopeless. It's a slow process but as As Al-Anon advises, I fake it till I make it. I also watch others who are confident and try to imitate them. I referred earlier to Cobra Kai weight loss strategies. One thing we know Cobra Kai has is confidence (although as we're seeing, all in Cobra Kai had to develop it. It didn't come naturally.) 

Stay tuned for more on this because volumes can be written about the links between obesity and low self esteem and self-confidence and weight loss. 

Wednesday, September 7, 2022

A-Z Healthy school lunches and snacks for weight loss the whole family will love

 I struggled with obesity for a few years before I found ways to lose weight naturally without gastric bypass. One big challenge was finding healthy diet recipes that didn't require an extra meal prep. I created these quick easy healthy school lunch recipes to make for the whole family.  The good news is that everyone loved these "diet recipes" which were part of how I lost 100 pounds. 

A-Z lunch menu of quick lunch recipes and lunchbox foods for kids

A+ Applewich: Spread light oat grain bread with almond butter or natural peanut butter (no transfat). Add sliced apples or apple butter. This will be in hot demand on your monthly lunch menu. Be daring and sprouts or spinach leaves to sandwich.

Banana Boats--cut two slits in banana and peel back skin part way. Remove a little banana and fill with peanut butter and grape slices. Save removed banana for PBB sandwiches (lunch recipes below)

Charcuterie: Cheese cubes or sticks (light mozzarella), olives, broccoli flowerets, almonds, turkey pepperoni and grapes.

Dogs in the blanket--Nitrate free turkey hot dogs (Applegate, Oscar Meyer Naturals or Smart dogs (made with tofu) with honey mustard and wrapped in lettuce leaves

Eggs Devilishly Good--Hard boil eggs, chill and peel. Rinse and slice lengthwise. Remove yolk and mash with light olive oil mayo, dill weed and paprika. Fill egg cavities. Serve with cold baked potato and sour cream.

Fruit Max--Mix dried apricots, raisins, apples, guava, papaya (don't get sugared ones) with nuts, seeds and pretzels

GORP (good old raisins and peanuts) or almonds, walnuts or any nuts!

Happy Trails Mix-- Mix unsweetened breakfast cereal, pretzels, raisins, cheese cubes and dark chocolate chips (just a few) for yummy lunchbox foods.

Insanely Healthy Peanut Butter Dip (peanut butter and plain Greek yogurt mixed half and half) with rice crackers, strawberries, pineapple, baby carrots, green pepper spears.

Jumble nut butter oatmeal cookies--Make with healthy sunflower oil and blue agave syrup to sweeten. Use different nut butters (peanut, cashew, almond or sunflower). Add mixed nuts and seeds for remarkably filling protein alternatives for vegetarian lunch recipes.

Kangaroo Sandwiches--Stuff pita pocket bread with lettuce and chicken or tuna salad. Mix tuna or chicken with light mayo, spicy mustard, chopped celery, apples, grapes, nuts and black pepper. Be sure to call it Kangaroo Sandwiches on the lunch menu!

Lighten Up Roll-ups--spread tortilla shell with light cream cheese, turkey lunchmeat, large romaine lettuce leaf. Roll and slice. For gluten-ree roll up, roll cheese stick in reduced fat lunch meat or vegan cheese slices

Mucho Guacamole Boats--remove pits from avocado and scrape out some avocado. Mix with lemon juice, garlic, tomatoes, onions for guacamole. Tuck tortilla chips inside avocado, fill cavity with guacamole and sprinkle with cheese. Send some chips separately. How's that for super healthy school lunches in minutes?

Nuts and bolts--pretzels, dried fruit and Honey Nut Cheerios. Send almond milk or lowfat milk for lunch cereal.

Olives overboard pasta salad--Cook whole grain pasta, drain and chill. Add cubed feta cheese, cucumber chunks, green and black olives and a little olive oil for vegetarian lunch recipes.

Po'boy Shish Kebobs: Skewer Swiss cheese chunks, pickles and all natural Al Fresco chicken sausage slices on toothpicks.

PBB sandwiches. Make peanut butter sandwiches with banana spread like jam on bread.

Quick lunch recipes--Pita chips and hummus with baby carrots--Teens love these lunchbox foods.

Raw colored peppers and yogurt salad dressing (store separately). Yogurt dressing is Greek yogurt mixed with lemon juice, feta cheese, pepper, dill, rosemary, oregano and sage.

Smoked almonds, broccoli and yogurt dip and blueberries--How's that for super portable vegetarian lunchbox foods.

Sailboat Sandwiches: PBJ sandwich cut diagonally (for boat) and then one half in half again (sails). Use light whole grain bread, natural peanut butter and low sugar jam.

Tomatoes or baby carrots and hummus are another teen lunch pleaser.

Very Vegetarian Veggie burger: Mash beans and mix with chopped veggies. Cook ahead and make into sandwich.

Wagon wheels--Cut sliced cheese round using mouth of small glass. Place inside two crackers. (This was Timer's recipe in the old Saturday morning PSAs)

Under the Sea. Serve Goldfish crackers with foil tuna packets or imitation crab sticks. Add cucumber slices and watermelon chunks for quick lunch recipes.

X-tra quick school lunches--Serve healthy power bars like Junkless, Luna, Kind or Clif bars. These make great school snacks or lunches that satisfy

YOLO--Lemon or orange flavored yogurt cups or Greek yogurt cups like Light and Fit, Stonyfield, Oikos, Dannon, Chobani. Avoid "kid" yogurt or yogurts with granola, candy, dyes or junk in them. Choose small yogurt cups for less waste. Or mix plain Greek yogurt with organic lemonade, peeled grapefruit and oranges. Serve with nuts for vegetarian healthy school lunches.

Zucchini "Sushi" Rollups--Spread turkey lunch meat or cheese slice with cream cheese and wrap around skinny spears of zucchini, carrots, green peppers, cucumbers and scallions.

These healthy school lunch and snack recipes make great munchables all day long, to keep from mindless snacking on junk. Stick around for more on how I lost 100 pounds and other weight loss thoughts. 

Wednesday, August 31, 2022

How I lost 100 pounds by deleting old messages on service vs. self-care

Who here recalls recording on cassette tapes? You could re-record but first you had to "erase" existing recordings. Now with cellphones, it's similar technology, except we delete old messages. This relates to weight loss, too. Part of how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass or drugs was by deleting old messages on service to others and creating new ones about self-care. Alanon teaches a similar concept. 

I was raised on the old maxim that to achieve JOY, you put Jesus first, Others second and Yourself last. Which is good, to some extent. However if you're an empath like me, you translate that as serving Jesus by putting others always and yourself never. I learned young to ignore my own needs, wants, feelings and ideas and be a servant to all.  I was so busy trying to please everyone that I made myself miserable. 

It wasn't just obesity that this indentured servitude caused. That came later in life. In the early days, it meant denying myself (or being denied) everything including enough food to sustain. For much of my early life, I didn't have my own bed or pillow. I had to buy my own shoes and sanitary napkins. I had to raise siblings. I learned to make the best of situations that weren't even safe, let alone healthy.  

Self-care, I learned, was selfish and self-centered. That I should suffer with joy. That I should serve without appreciation or reward. My role in life was to help, do for and fix. I took care of everyone. Except my grandparents. There I could be a kid. There, I had what I needed. But their voices weren't loud enough to drown out the other messages. Those said I had to earn everything, including love. And no matter how hard I worked or how much I gave, it was never enough to buy that. 

So what does this have to do with weight loss or weight gain? Everything. Getting healthier requires several things: 

1) recognizing you're ill. 

2) discovering that you deserve to be well. 

3) deleting old messages that tell you otherwise. 

4) learning how to be well. 

5) understanding that you can serve others and still take care of yourself. 

6) Knowing that if serving others is keeping you from self-care, you're doing it wrong. 

7) Discerning when someone needs your help and when they are manipulating and exploiting you. 

8) Coming to the awareness that you don't have to and shouldn't help when it harms you. 

9) Believing that No. Is a complete sentence. 

10) Accepting that God wants you to be healed and that He will help you do that. 

So this post has been as much catharsis for me as advice for you. But catharsis is painful as well as healing. It's still very much a work in progress for me. And I hope, if any of this resonates with you, that you'll read, mark, learn and inwardly digest. If you need someone to tell you that you DESERVE happiness and wellness, please, let it be me. Love, mar

Wednesday, August 24, 2022

How I lost 100 pounds with Cobra Kai vs. Miyagi-Do weight loss


My husband and I have a guilty fascination with the Netflix series "Cobra Kai" and in most things I'm team Miyagi-Do all the way. Except weight loss. In that, I'm Cobra Kai with a side of Eagle Fang (who else here finds that name hilarious??) Part of how I lost 100 pounds was to get off the defensive and go straight offensive against obesity. 

Part of how I got overweight and then obese was by being defensive about weight gain. If you watch "My 600-lb Life" you'll know exactly what I mean. Like the would-be gastric bypass patients on "My 600-lb Life" I played the blame shame game, defended my reasons and took the path of least resistance (continuing the mindless overeating).  Quitting the excuse making and finally opening my eyes to how overweight I'd become, was the first step toward weight loss. 

The next step was some Cobra Kai calorie restricting. "My 600-lb Life" gastric bypass physician Dr. Now, is a lot more like John Kreese than Daniel LaRusso. He shows no mercy with overeating and teaches patients how to use his 1200 calorie diet to "sweep the leg" out from under obesity. Some have called the "My 600-lb Life" calorie restricting Draconian. But it's Cobra Kai aggressiveness that helps lose weight, not passive acceptance (see my previous post). 

Dr Now tells us that gastric bypass patients with morbid obesity don't have time to "tickle" calorie restricting. They (we) need to lose weight now and to do so, a ruthless 1200 calorie diet or some other intense calorie restricting is necessary. In karate, Daniel LaRusso's defensive Miyagi-Do paired with Johnny Lawrence's  Eagle Fang, generally wins the day. In weight loss, full-on, no holds barred Cobra Kai offense is the best defense. 

Yes, Sensei Nowzaradan and Kreese! 

How I lost 100 pounds going Cobra Kai: Healing obesity shame is not about fat acceptance

 I'm going to say some things that might shock and anger my blog followers. Healing obesity is not about fat acceptance. Loving your body doesn't mean ignoring weight gain. I didn't get overweight because of body shaming but overeating and lack of self-control. I lost 100 pounds by going Cobra Kai and "sweeping the leg" out from under bad habits. 

Did I just read that right, you may wonder. Is she actually saying we shouldn't love ourselves as we are, warts and all? Is she validating fat shaming? Yes (sort of) and no. Love of self (as in healthy self-esteem) and the resulting self-care are essential no matter what the body size. But accepting being 50-100 (etc) overweight is not self love. It's deadly self-delusion that only gets bigger, louder and worse. That does NOT validate fat shaming. No one gets to do that. And body shaming obesity is just bullying. And if I fat shame myself, I'm bullying myself. 

Having said that, a qualified physician labelling someone overweight or obese is not bullying. This has come up on episodes of "My 600-lb Life." Dr. Now is accused, by patients seeking bariatric surgery, of body shaming. Shaming is making fun of; addressing potentially lethal health issues like obesity is good doctoring. It's his job. 

So too, recognizing that I'm overweight, doesn't translate to lack of self-love. It's not auto-shaming. Accepting that I need to lose weight and following healthy methods of calorie restricting (like the "My 600-lb Life" 1200 calorie diet) is just common sense. 

There is a prevailing myth that being told you need to lose weight is body shaming. Which it is, if it's just random unsolicited advice such as Valerie Bertinelli was given by a internet commenter recently. This is wrong for many reasons. No one knows for certain what is a healthy body weight for another person. Sometimes not even a doctor. The infamous BMI can be very arbitrary and inaccurate. However, it's a smallish margin of error, say 10-25 pounds, not 40 to 50+ overweight. Even then in Valerie Bertinelli's case, it is still no one's business except a physician. And even then is should be handled with respect. 

The key issue here is self-awareness. And what is means to practice self-care. Accepting that I am very overweight, being okay with it and expecting others to say that my obesity is just fine, beautiful, healthy, etc. isn't self-care. As I said before, it's avoidant self-delusion. While no one can lose weight for you, nor should they make fun of you for needing to, it also isn't appropriate to affirm obesity as a healthy lifestyle. 

I know I seem to be dancing around what I'm trying to say. That's because the issue is complicated. I don't want to appear to be applauding fat shaming by dissing fat acceptance. The pivotal point is who is doing the accepting and how it's done. I should accept myself as I am, but also seek to be as healthy as I can be. I wouldn't turn a blind eye to cancer or Covid 19 if I had it. I'd work to take care of myself. Same with weight loss. No one can tell me to lose weight but if I really love myself, I'll work at it if I need to. 

I can accept and love myself as I am and still work to improve. Artists don't just slap paint on canvas and expect others to call it a masterpiece. They constantly work to perfect technique. And my way of perfecting my game was with weight loss. How I lost 100 pounds was going Cobra Kai, which I didn't even address, paragraphs later. But maybe you can see where I'm going with this. I'll delve deeper in my upcoming blog post. In closing, love yourself cuz I do and more importantly, God does. Be the best version of yourself you can be <3

Overcoming obesity "thin fat" is as much Alanon as calorie restricting: how weight loss alone fails

Hello dear readers whom I hope I may call friends. In today's chapter on how I lost 100 pounds, I'm looking at obesity shame, "dry fat" and how weight loss alone fails to heal. You may be wondering what "thin fat" means. It's a term I coined, similar to the "dry drunk" of Alanon. A "dry drunk" is an alcoholic who, while not actively drinking, is still not in recovery because all the "stinkin thinkin" that led to alcoholism remains. 

"Thin fat" refers to someone who has lost weight but still hasn't addressed the obesity mindset, or what I call "fat think." I'm going to use as an example, Mama June Shannon of Honey Boo Boo and From Not to Hot fame. Mama June is an extreme example, but many of us struggle with "fat think" even after weight loss. 

Mama June Shannon, mother of pageant star Honey Boo Boo, enjoyed huge weight loss after gastric bypass and other plastic surgery on a reality TV show "From Not to Hot." However, immediately after this transformation, she reverted to old behaviors (fat think). Probably even while she was being nipped and tucked, she continued eating the same. June Shannon has gained back 100 pounds (and counting) but claims to be "comfortable" with it. My guess is this is an excuse to avoid doing the work required to lose weight and also because she never really dealt with the fat think that led to obesity. 

She was one of those gastric bypass patients, such as those seen on "My 600-lb Life" who believe that bariatric surgery alone will lose weight.  I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass. And while I made a million mistakes, one trap I avoided was the bariatric surgery myth of miracle cure. My weight loss was as much Alanon as calorie restricting: I had to examine old patterns of stinkin thinkin, in my case an obesity mindset which led to weight gain. 

I have always considered myself overweight, even when I weighed 110 pounds. I guess I had a form of anorexia, at least mentally. This "fat think" caused untold damage: terrifyingly low self esteem, anxiety panic attacks, depression, stress eating and more I probably haven't even unpacked yet. Weirdly, when I got overweight, it was hard to see because I had such a skewed self-image. I even hit morbid obesity and didn't realize until I took off the "blindness glasses" (more on that later). 

I cannot stress enough that healing obesity is about so much more than weight loss. Further if you lose weight without addressing the stinkin thinkin (and keep revisiting it because it is baffling, cunning and pernicious) it's very easy to regain the weight. Recovery really is one day at a time, every day. Stay tuned for more on how I lost 100 pounds. 

Wednesday, August 3, 2022

Shift Work Disorder (SWSD) sabotages not only sleep but weight loss too

In this blog on how I lost 100 pounds (without drugs or gastric bypass bariatric surgery), I explore many ways to lose weight and also many links to obesity. From anxiety to Covid 19 and low self-esteem to antidepressants (especially SSRI) there's a lot that goes into it. One link that may surprise you is SWSD or Shift Work Disorder. 

My husband has worked nights (third shift) or afternoon-late evening (second shift) all of our 35 years of marriage. That nocturnal schedule alone messes with biorhythms and causes Shift Work Disorder. But then factor in this swing shift he's (we've) been on for the last five years and SWSD symptoms are off the charts. And add to that,  it's a 12 hour (not traditional 8 hour) night, 5 pm to 5 am.  

How does swing shift cause SWSD? Swing shift means 2 days on, 3 off and 2 on 3 off, 2 on, etc. The schedule rotates or swings back and forth each week with him having Monday off one week and working the next, for example. And he has worked every Saturday for 5 years, either till 5 am (having to sleep a good part of Saturday) or going in at 5 pm and having to sleep most of the day to gear up for the 12 hour night. 

It's hard enough trying to sleep days when humans are diurnal. But sleep disorder really ramp up when, on days off he tries to follow a normal day schedule. We end up staying up late at night because he can't fall asleep at a normal time and has to swing back to nights in a day or two anyway. I'm dealing with shift work sleep disorder too because I stay up with him (so we can actually see each other and do things together) but then work during the day. And I have other sleep disorder issues: arthritis, sleep paralysis, OSA or obstructive sleep apnea and a form of PTSD (traumatic stress disorder) that manifests in sleep disrupted by on-going nightmares. 

To say that our lifestyle is all kinds of dysfunctional is an understatement. Besides insomnia and lack of sleep, disturbed biorhythms cause relationship problems, mood disorders, depression, lack of intimacy, anxiety, stress and anger management. Social life is non-existent. We can't get involved with group activities, kids functions or even go to church regularly. It magnifies all health issues. Even eating habits are affected from eating late at night or at weird times. I've developed digestive problems which my physician is treating as an ulcer. I even suspect that our crazy schedules impacted my later pregnancies and were in part responsible for my two stillbirths. 

Trying to lose weight is super challenging because we literally can't follow the rules on eating such as not after 6 pm. That's when husband has to be awake! He eats breakfast at 3:30 pm, lunch around 10 pm and dinner whenever or never. Also, the weight loss rule about not eating one big meal doesn't work because he doesn't have time to eat several small meals. 

And then there's the comfort eating from being lonely and on opposite schedules from most everyone else. And we're always behind the 8-ball trying to stay awake when the world is asleep and asleep when the world is awake. And exercise is challenging on the night shift.  It's no wonder people with SWSD tend to have more trouble with obesity.  

And this doesn't even begin to address the unfair playing field of nocturnal (second and third shift) vs. diurnal workers. Diurnals sometimes have a hard time understanding why a nocturnal sleeps "so late" in the day. Some preen that they are "early risers" (meaning they get up at 5 am). That's impossible for nocturnals who are just getting out of work. They can't understand why we're "so lazy." But I'd like to see how raring to go they are after having to get up at midnight, go for 18 hours and then flip-flop to 5 am every few days. 

Diurnals also think nothing of making racket during a nocturnals sleep day. Yet if we started up a chainsaw at 2 am, it would be a different story. Anyone who thinks I'm paranoid has obviously never had to live this kind of life. Or they'd see that world completely disregards the third shifter. That's why suicide rates are 25 to 50 % higher. Sad but true. 

We'd love nothing more than to be able to live a more normal life. It's taken its toll. But job opportunities in many industries are almost all second and third shift and a scary lot of them are 12 hour swing shift schedules. 

So this post got a lot bigger than just weight loss and shift work disorder. But that's what I'm finding on this path, how interconnected the aspects of our lives are. To understand health, I'm de-compartmentalizing. Instead of boxing things into a small screen I'm looking at the big picture and the more I do that the more I see how big it is. 

Thanks for reading! Stay tuned for more on how I lost 100 pounds and a lot of other baggage. 

Friday, July 29, 2022

How I boost confidence to lose weight by flipping the script

 Hello again, your friendly neighborhood weight loss coach back with another installment on how I lost 100 pounds and how you can lose weight too if you need to. In my last post, we looked at how weight loss boosts confidence and confidence helps lose weight. And I could hear some of you saying, great, but how do I make confidence where none exists?? Part of how I lost 100 pounds was by
flipping the script. 

So you know how low self esteem tells us we're losers, right? Not in the good kind of obesity losers, the complete and utter failure kind. "My 600-lb Life" shows extreme examples of where this Alanon stinkin thinkin gets us. Low self esteem batters us with negative messages about how much we suck as people. The monkey on our back sneers "lose weight?? you can't even manage to close your mouth, let alone manage a long term diet!" 

The key here is, then, to talk back to that wretched low self esteem and stinkin thinkin. To kick the monkey off our back and out the damn door. To flip the script from negative to positive self-statements. A good way to accomplish that is to use another Alanon slogan, "fake it till you make it." Just start calorie restricting even though stinkin thinkin is telling you it won't work. Just pretend it will work. Imagine yourself losing weight. It's a biological fact that calorie restricting will lose weight. So you will make it. And as you do, you'll feel stronger, more in control and happier in your own fur! 

Stay tuned for more on how I lost 100 pounds. 

How weight loss boosts confidence and confidence helps lose weight

Hello my dears! It's me back with more thoughts on weight loss. The longer I maintain this blog, the more I realize that how I lost 100 pounds was about dealing with emotional health issues as much as calorie restricting and portion control. Today we'll look at how weight loss boost confidence and vice versa. 

I often use stories of gastric bypass patients on the reality TV show "My 600-lb Life" as examples. "My 600-lb Life" shows people struggling with morbid obesity but also many mental and emotional health problems. Comfort eating is often a coping mechanism for managing stress, guilt, anxiety, anger and depression. "My 600-lb Life" participants are unilaterally and categorically unhappy. Along with gastric bypass, those with extreme obesity also undergo therapy for emotional health issues. After they lose weight, they are almost always happier, more confident and better able to manage stress. 

How do weight loss and stress management go hand in hand? Well, to continue the metaphor, one hand washes the other. As I began to take charge of my eating habits (by calorie restricting and following a 1200 calorie diet), instead of letting them control me, I felt more confident my low esteem began to heal. But in order shed obesity, I had to work on boosting confidence and improving low self esteem. In short I had to realize that I was capable of self-discipline, before I could begin self-discipling. In even shorter short, it's an upward spiral. Weight loss boosts confidence while developing confidence helped me lose weight. 

But how do you get to that point? How do you make confidence where none exists? In my next post on how I lost 100 pounds, I'll cover that so stay tuned. 

Friday, July 22, 2022

Weight loss and weight management: know your fruit

Hello friends, in this blog I explore how I lost 100 pounds in 2014 without drugs or gastric bypass and also how I maintain that weight loss. Losing weight is definitely gestalt: the whole process is greater than simple list of diet tips. Healthy weight maintenance is also a life-long affair. That's why this blog is in its 9th year and counting. Today's tip is to know your fruit, or body shape. 

Understanding body shape, not just body size, is crucial to weight loss. What is body shape? It's the unique structural design of your body, that differs from person to person. I'm not talking about "big-boned" vs "small-boned". That's a misnomer that gastric bypass patients on shows like "My 600-lb Life" often use. They will explain that their obesity is due being big-boned, which they claim is genetically inherited. Some people are taller statured and so can hold more weight and not appear overweight. But there's really no such things as larger vs. smaller bones. And it still wouldn't account for morbid obesity. 

Body shape is best explained in fruity terms: commonly, pear shaped and apple shaped. Pear shaped bodies (so coveted by us apple shapes) are curvier with larger hips and buttocks. Apple shaped are thicker around the middle with smaller buttocks and hips. There are also squash or hourglass figures with large hips and breasts and small waists. 

I've heard pear shaped say they covet our apple shape. Humph, not so sure about that. "I like big guts and I cannot lie" said no one ever. But I digress. The point with weight loss and body shape, is to know which kind you inhabit and therefore which of your body parts will be harder to lose weight in. I'm apple shaped and belly fat has always been a struggle even after I lost 100 pounds. When I weighed 109 pounds in college, belly fat was still an issue. Pear shaped will have trouble reducing in hips and buttocks.

Height is also an issue in weight loss. We short petite people can't gain a pound without appearing overweight. Taller people may actually be obese but it doesn't show as much. None of this should discourage us from losing weight if we need to. It is also not an excuse for obesity as so many on "My 600-lb Life" seem to think. Weight loss is doable regardless of body shape. In further blog posts, I'll discuss appropriate diet methods for body shape in upcoming posts. 

Keep your dial tuned here for more on how I lost 100 pounds, without gastric bypass. 


Tuesday, July 19, 2022

How I lost 100 pounds by healing low self esteem

Whether you need to lose weight, gain it or maintain a healthy weight, it's important to address mental health, not just physical. Said differently, weight loss (or gain) is not just about calorie restricting or what diet you're on. It's about dealing with underlying emotional struggles. Part of how I lost 100 pounds was by working on low self esteem and stinkin thinkin (Al-Anon) 

I thought my biggest issue was (and was medicated for) depression. But that was only a manifestation of the real issue: low self esteem. Beginning in 1997 through 2004, we experienced a series of unfortunate events. I had major pregnancy complications with our fourth child, lost two stillborn infants, moved into a house that required huge and unexpected repairs (think all broken windows, a collapsed ceiling and burst water pipes). 

We'd sold our mobile home for cents on the dollar to get into this house which we'd allowed the current tenant to live in till her Habitat for Humanity home was ready. Five months later and multiple queries as to when we could move in (met with "her home isn't ready yet") we discovered she'd vamoosed--leaving unpaid bills, damaged electrical and water pipes, collapsed ceiling, burst toilet, broken windows and a dead snake out back(!)--almost immediately after we'd first seen the home. The landlord, our church, BTW, didn't bother to check up because she was living rent-free. She got her nicely move-in ready Habitat for Humanity home while we were stuck with the mess she'd left behind. 

When we saw the house in November, we noted what would need to be done. And there was plenty then. Needless to say, sitting vacant five months left the house in condemned-notice condition. It was actually us who discovered the tenant had split. We drove by one night in March, saw the doors hanging open and everything a mess. 

We alerted the sellers who basically said we were stuck because we agreed to buy it ("remember what a good deal we gave you??") And we were also desperate being now homeless. We had undersold the mobile home for $3,500 (valued at $12,000) because the mobile home market was low and because we didn't want to LET THE SELLERS DOWN when they were finally ready to sell. 

Everything needed fixing. We had to fix it alone with no help from seller which drained our bank account. Husband was juggling two jobs in different cities. Oh, and we still paid the full asking price of the house, no discount for damages. 

Yes, we should have pulled out or at least demanded that things be restored to the condition we'd originally seen it in. Yes we should have insisted they find us accommodations till said repairs had been done. No I shouldn't have tried get the house livable with just my four kids to help. No my  husband shouldn't have had to work on the house after work, just to get it habitable. No, we shouldn't have been so nice and should have been thorns in various backsides. 

But that brings me back to the original point of this blog post: low self esteem. Both my husband and I struggle with it. Why did we allow ourselves to be so taken advantage of? Because we figured that this shambles was good enough for who it was for. And did the sellers chime in with the guilt: we should be grateful that we were getting "such a good deal." We weren't, they were and they knew it. They'd neglected the house, not monitored the tenant and now would be lucky if the city didn't make them liable, if we didn't buy it. Under the table mind you. 

So like two muggins, we bought it. Stinkin thinkin told us it was the best we deserved. Operative word: we (he and I). We knew our kids deserved MUCH better and we wanted, but failed to get it for them. That caused massive anxiety and guilt. Which drove self esteem even lower. Queue the depression, misery and yes even fights (you tend to take out frustrations with those you feel you owe gratitude for hurting you, on those you love). Weird. Vicious cycle. 

Part of how I lost 100 pounds was to get at why I thought so little of  myself. There is a book series in that answer. And maybe I'll write it someday. Suffice, for this blog post, to say that learning to recognize that I was a beloved child of my Heavenly Father (thank you, Fr. Chuck), who wants the best for me, not just good enough for who it's for, helped a lot. So did giving myself permission to express needs, wants, dissatisfaction and frustrations. To say no to manipulative, exploitative situations. To practice self-care. 

A part of my old stinkin thinkin narrative says I should make disclaimers and defend toxic behavior. The monkey on my back worries that you readers may think I'm dramatizing, attention-seeking or just an idiot. Low self-esteem talks like that. Lots of auto blame-shame. I'm also tempted to defend the house sellers, saying they meant well, didn't realize the extent of the damage, yada yada. But I'm not going to. It should have been handled differently and we were treated badly. We are still dealing with negative repercussions.  

So we got screwed over. However, the real responsibility is down to us, to change this stinkin thinkin. We realize, in retrospect, that we are just too nice, or just pushovers. We've been stung multiple times, and should have spoken up about. We are learning together how to advocate for ourselves and not to let ourselves get taken advantage of in future. Because we don't deserve it no matter what you say, skinkin thinkin. 

This post may seem far afield for a blog about weight loss. However, concepts like low self-esteem are actually a large part of how we get overweight (or underweight, anorexic, bulimic, etc) in the first place. Many physical problems originate in our heads. Not our imagination, our stinkin thinkin. 

Love to you all and stay tuned for more. 

Friday, July 15, 2022

Lose weight or don't, but be happy in your own fur

 I just wrote a disturbing post about incels and I (and probably you who read it) need some mind comfort food. So here's a little treat to get us into a better place. Cats, namely ours, Moishe and Mordecai. Look at these guys and try not to smile. 

and while we're on the subject and because the point of this blog is to improve physical and mental health, note this about my cats. They are twin brothers. They have almost identical body sizes but different body shapes. Moishe (L) is stockier (some would say overweight) while Mordy is lean. Some would say skinny. Mordecai is also ALWAYS eating, wanting to eat and thinking of food. Moishe eats less. But he is still heavier than his food obsessed twin. But he doesn't care that he's overweight. He is supremely confident in his handsome floofiness. What can we learn from this? To be like Moishe. Happy in your own fur. Lose weight or don't. Above all else, like yourself. Because seriously, it wasn't till I stopped despising myself that I was able to lose weight. And (just for closure on the incel post) THAT being able to like yourself is what makes you attractive and able to like others. 
Love ya'll! 

Body shaming, blame-shame and other Incel and manosphere BS

This blog explores how I lost 100 pounds but also a lot more about obesity, weight loss and gain and body image in general. Today I'm looking at social messages that contribute to body image dysmorphia, eating disorders and obesity. I'm aiming responsibility squarely at the Incel (involuntary celibate) online community and other manosphere BS. 

Incels are a group of folks who can't get relationships but blame everyone else for that. It didn't start that way, and was initially a small, somewhat fringy group that actually tried to help themselves and others. But incels have devolved into extreme right-wing, sexist, misognynystic, male and white supremist terrorist and haters. Who actually call themselves Christian (!) With a growing cult following. And garbage like they spew is the electrical current that powers body image dysmorphia. 

It's ludicrous because the very thing that incels whine about is that they can't get women (sex--which they believe they deserve) because they aren't attractive to them. They blame-shame women for being shallow. Several incel terrorist attacks have taken place at spas, fitness clubs and yoga studios. Supposedly, these women were taunting them but the real reason is obviously lust. They also hypocritically crave "attractive" women but fault them for trying to improve their looks. The entire incel vocab consists of vulgar, sexualized, objectified misogyny. Don't look it up unless you want to feel sick. 

So how is the manosphere related to weight loss or obesity? This dripping poison shames women for everything. If they don't keep fit, lose weight, etc, they're ugly slobs. If they do care about appearance and health, they are vain Jezebels enticing poor men into lusting after them. Damned if ya do, damned if ya don't. 

You might be thinking, but this is just a small group of wackos. How could they influence female thinking, let alone social mores? Because manosphere speak is an ancient tongue. Sexism is as old as, well, forever. It's wormed its way into every area of life. It's been drilled into women's heads: you are a sex toy but a sl*t if you like it. You should BE "attractive" but shouldn't try to be. You should be "modest" but also alluring. I could go on and on. In short, you can't win. 

So what's the solution? Well, shut down hate groups, obviously. Stop buying the "free speech" crap. Call out misogyny. Mock them into silence. But most importantly, sister, don't give the negativity a home.  Stop letting broken psychos define you. Lose weight or not because it's right for you. Be attractive to yourself. You don't owe anyone anything beside basic courtesy.  

PS This isn't a man vs. woman thing. My advice goes for guys, too. My heart goes out to guys who feel like losers, or even identify as an incel. But it's not someone else's fault you feel that way. It's not someone else's responsibility to fix you. Like yourself, or at least begin trying to. At the root, is self-hatred, stinkin thinkin and autoshame. Do you, to the best of your ability. 

Love you all! Stay tuned for more on how I lost 100 pounds (and blame shame, stinkin thinkin and low self esteem). 

Tuesday, July 12, 2022

Mama June Shannon is happy with 100 lb weight gain after massive weight loss (really??)

 Mama June Shannon, reality TV celeb of "Here comes Honey Boo Boo" says she's happy with a 100 pound weight gain after her big weight loss on "Mama June: From Not to Hot." I'm wondering is she happy or just excusing the return to obesity. And I also question how much more she will gain and still justify it? Since gastric bypass in 2016, June has steadily been regaining pounds lost and always has an excuse. I think this is just another of the myths she, people on "My 600-lb Life" and many of us who struggle with fat, feed ourselves. Busting these myths is part of how I lost 100 pounds. 

Mama June, mum of "Toddlers and Tiaras" star Honey Boo Boo, may actually be or think she is happy being morbidly overweight. The pageant mom rose to fame with her larger than life persona. It's her stock and trade. She might also just be more comfy bigger. But I suspect that's not it. I think people say they like themselves "fat" because they can't (or more often won't) lose weight. This self-delusion I call "fattitude" (Al-Anon calls it stinkin thinkin) crops up in many forms on every episode of "My 600-lb Life". 

Mama June Shannon, the folks on "My 600-lb Life" and many of us who've suffered with obesity try to spin weight gain as something positive. We say we feel better. We cry body positivity and anyone who says otherwise is body shaming. Fattitude (stinkin thinkin) and food addiction drive us to defend overeating and euphemize it away. And fattitude and food addiction are every bit as baffling, cunning and dangerous as drug or alcohol dependency. 

Genuine long-term, sustained weight loss is a shit-ton of work.  It's boring to count calories, follow a 1200-calorie diet, or keto diet or intermittent fasting (5:2 diet) or some other method of calorie restricting. It's easier and much more fun to eat like there's no tomorrow and make excuses about how we "can't lose weight", "nothing works", "you don't need calorie restricting, intermittent fasting, 1200- calorie diet, (insert diet name) to lose weight. (Truth is, we can, it does and we do). 

Fattitude or stinkin thinking is also why gastric bypass is becoming so popular. It seems, when you are morbidly obese, that bariatric surgery only solution. Or (and this worries me most) that bariatric surgery or gastric bypass are seen some kind of magic carpet ride to skinny. You don't have to change anything and poof, weight loss! Oh so wrong. "My 600-lb Life" Dr. Now makes patients follow the 1200-calorie diet BEFORE surgery to get in the  habit afterwards and to lose weight to make bariatric surgery safe enough to try. 

Mama June Shannon, like so many others, defends obesity by saying it's only a little weight gain. Reportedly, she's exploring other types of surgery after having a gastric sleeve. But these are not procedures you can do repeatedly. So, yep, at first, it is only a few pounds. But those few add up and pretty soon you're very overweight, again. And if you've had surgery already you're now out of options, Except that is, for our old friend the 1200-calorie diet (or some other calorie restricting). AKA, back to square one. 

I stumbled on that super slippery slope too after I lost 100 pounds. I began packing on the weight after shoulder surgery. I was damned if I was gonna regain all that fat, so I started calorie restricting again. And Poof, this really did work. It's the bike you can always pick and get back on. It doesn't let you down. 

So all the best to anyone who trying to lose weight (or gain weight, or find a healthy weight--actually this blog is about finding that happy AND healthy place). You may actually find you feel better with a little more weight. There's wiggle room. But that's like 10-15 pounds, not 80 to 100. And I guarantee you that if you are willing to work the program, you can achieve your goals. And it feels much better than making excuses or justifying unhealthy choices. 

Stay tuned for more on how I lost 100 pounds. 

Monday, July 11, 2022

How I lost 100 pounds (and stay full!) with weight loss superfood bone broth

This blog explores how I lost 100 pounds and kept if off without bariatric surgery. Weight loss isn't just about the initial shedding of pounds. That's the easy part the easy part of losing weight. The hard part is, of course, keeping it off. It's about maintaining healthier habits but also upgrading. So I'm continually researching and trying new ideas. I recently test-drove bone broth, a superfood long-advocated for health. 

Now I know, in the west especially, we're always hearing about some new diet or miracle cure that's going to lose weight, burn fat, end obesity, etc. So you might be tempted to look askance at bone broth as just another fad. But in the east, broth is and has been a diet staple for, oh, probably forever! And by diet, I don't mean a weight loss plan. I mean a sustainable way of eating to be and remain healthy. 

On a visit to our littlest pet in Austin, TX, she served us bone broth for breakfast. I was onboard, but husband I could tell, was leery. Not that it would taste good (although the term "bone broth" is a little off-putting, admittedly) but that it would actually fill him up till the next meal. Truth told, I wasn't sure myself. But wonder of wonders, one cup of chicken bone broth, with a little judicious additions of happy-feel spices (turmeric, ginger and black pepper) satisfied hunger for several hours. 

Bone broth, whether chicken or beef, is a win-lose situation--win with appetite suppressant, fat burner, mood stabilizer, blood sugar boost and endorphin releaser plus lose weight naturally. If you go the gastric bypass route for weight loss, you'll be put on a liquid or broth diet for a period following bariatric surgery. And bone broth is far superior to regular broth in several ways. It gives 20 grams of protein per cup and only 85 calories plus all the -ines (amino acids). Adding spices in the pepper family--turmeric, black pepper, ginger--give the added benefit of inflammation reduction and pain relief. 

Bone broth can be a little pricey but since it's meal replacement, the cost isn't too bad. Zammex has the best price I've found for bone broth protein. It's available through Amazon. Stay tuned for more on how I lost 100 pounds and other diet recipes and health tips. 

Best wishes in your quest! 

#howilost100pounds #bonebroth

Tuesday, June 21, 2022

Emotional eating and extreme calorie restricting: obesity and deprivation links

Let's talk about obesity. In my nearly 58 years on this planet, I've been overweight, obese, normal BMI and even underweight. Obesity hit its worst, for me, in 2012 and how I lost 100 pounds, without gastric bypass and reversed that has a lot to do with TLC "My 600-lb Life." This gastric bypass reality TV show offers remarkable insights, not only in weight loss but in weight gain and obesity. 

Participants on "My 600-lb Life" usually act childish and immature. And Dr. Nowzaradan explains why: because they are adult children. They stopped developing emotionally the more obese they became. Research shows that an alcoholic's brain stops growing at the age they began chronic drinking. And the same seems true with morbid obesity. The age at which a person stops eating to live and begins living to eat (also called comfort or emotional eating), is about the age maturation stalls. 

"My 600-lb Life" backstories (and to some extent my own weight gain and loss) have roots in emotional eating. Many of the show's participants tell of hunger, poverty and deprivation as children. They never got enough food to feel satisfied. So when they could, they overate to compensate. I recall those feelings. I remember going to potlucks and just wanting to eat everything there. I recall taking, and eating, 6 desserts at a church function, to the shock of my friends. They probably thought I was a pig but I realize now, that deprivation made me food insecure, anxious and always hungry. 

When I was 8, I was put on a 1000 calorie diet because I was "overweight" (see top left picture). That was far too much calorie restricting for an adult let alone a prepubescent child. Even gastric bypass patients on "My 600-lb Life" are only put on a 1200 calorie diet. And our family history proves that we start as chubby children but lose weight in puberty. So my brain was literally starving for food. This is not to blame anyone. It's how they did things in the early 1970s. Thin was in and obesity was virtually unheard of. 

But we can learn from those mistakes. Extreme calorie restricting is NOT the way to lose weight but it is a good way to lose muscle tone and get or stay sick. During our Covid 19 illness, my husband lost 17 pounds in a week because he couldn't eat. He's not overweight. Now he is struggling to replace muscle tissue. Covid 19 taught us many lessons and the biggest was how deprivation defeats the purpose. 

Deprivation, hunger and weight loss make the body retain fat to protect itself (see my post on the many dangers of extreme calorie restricting). How I lost 100 pounds was with a 1200 calorie diet, moderation, portion control and mindful eating. I've kept my weight at a reasonable place. 

Thanks for tuning in! Left is me now and right was in 2008, before I lost weight. Subscribe to this blog for more helps and tips. 

Monday, June 20, 2022

How I lost 100 pounds being a heavy drinker: fat flush for weight loss

Hi pals! As you may know, if you've followed this blog, that my husband and I got very serious Covid 19 infections early in 2021 just prior to getting vaccine. (Yes, we social distanced, masked, sanitized, etc. Covid is a crazy illness that doesn't follow rules). We are long haulers and still struggling with "Covid brain" and exhaustion. And one MAJOR takeaway from this is the disastrous nature of long-term fever and cellular dehydration. 

You'll also know, reading this blog that I share a lot about  how I lost 100 pounds in 2014 (and kept most of it off). I have been exploring links to dehydration and obesity and discovered that part of how I lost 100 pounds was by being a heavy drinker. 👀😁 Not alcohol (though I do drink wine and have done throughout my weight loss process). Alcohol is dehydrating. And so, believe it or not, is plain water. 

Lemme splain. Now I do drink a LOT of plain water which is good for weight loss as it is a fat flush. However, alone, without electrolytes (particularly magnesium and potassium) it will actually dry you out. And that will cause water retention or water weight gain, the thing that people on "My 600-lb Life" so often blame their obesity on. True water weight gain, from dehydration, is completely different.

My MIL weighed 100 pounds soaking wet. She became dehydrated because she drank too much water and flushed out all her electrolytes. She collapsed and was hospitalized with delirium (another symptom we experienced in Covid 19 fever). The staff could not figure out why, until I mentioned that she had what looked like belly fat which she has never had. Turns out  it was pooled water that she couldn't expel, due to low potassium and magnesium (electrolytes which help the body utilize water efficiently). 

 So the solution to avoid dehydration, fat flush and lose weight is to consume proper amounts of electrolytes: sodium, calcium, magnesium and potassium. The first two are easy, the last two, not. I became a label reader. And I found Gatorade, Powerade and other "hydration drinks" contain little to no magnesium or potassium. My drink of choice is BodyArmor (sugar-free kind, cuz sugar dehydrates too). Other coconut water works well too. Coconut water not only hydrates, the fatty acids fat flush too. 

So Slainte! Bottoms up on the coconut water, for weight loss and just general feelz goodz! Subscribe to my blog for more on how I lost 100 pounds and other happy pills. Love, mar and Emmett (top left, newest baby grand, isn't he handsome?) Top right is me in 2008 before weight loss, with lots of inflammation  in face (another sign of cellular dehydration). 

Friday, June 17, 2022

Fat-shaming or obesity entitlement, Reddit AITA wants to know

Hi fwiends, I've been seriously AWOL for quite awhile, so just popping in to update on weight loss (kept off most of the 100 pounds I lost 8 years ago, top is then, --> is now), long hauler Covid 19 (still lingering aftereffects) and to ponder a question that's been nagging me and apparently readers of Reddit regarding obesity. 

I've become addicted to Reddit AITA (Am I the A$$whole?), where readers ask, in moral/ethical dilemmas they've been encountered, whether they or someone else (or no one or everyone) has made bad choices or harmed others. Recently, a Redditor inquired whether she was fat-shaming by asking her obese SIL not to sit in a swing made to hold only 250#. And then to get angry when her 420# SIL sat in and broke said swing. 

I didn't weigh in (pun) on AITA but I will here. I agree with the consensus that the OP was not fat-shaming and that the obese SIL knowingly overtaxed the swing, was liable for the cost of replacing the it and should not even have had to be asked not to sit in it. She knew she was far too overweight for it to hold her. 

This is a case (which is becoming alarmingly more common) of what I call obesity entitlement. Instead of changing themselves to fit the world, more people are expecting the world to fit them. They expect that "handicapped accessible", "disability friendly" other ADA type goods and services should be made available to them, merely because they are so large that they can't utilize items made for average size people. They are not disabled, except by weight, or the effects of being overweight. 

And it comes at quite a cost to others. Many more establishments are having to make accommodations in the form of larger seating, more handicapped parking, etc, just to make room for larger clientele. This drives costs up. I'm in stores all the time as part of my Shipt job. And increasingly, store-provided mobility scooters are being used by larger people than by disabled or elderly people they were designed for. But if anything is said, or accommodations withheld, the fat-shaming card often comes out. 

This post itself may read as fat-shaming. Even as I write this, an inner voice is worrying that I sound insensitive, crass, etc. But be assured, I know, firsthand what it's like to be obese. Though I never expected nor needed accommodations, I can say that obesity is debilitating. My blood sugar, cholesterol and blood pressure shot up with my weight. Then I lost 100 pounds in 2014. I know that weight loss is challenging. But enabling or accommodating only makes it worse. Stay tuned for more on #howIlost100pounds. 


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