How I lost 100 pounds with monthly weight loss challenges

 

Hello friends of this blog on how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass surgery or weight loss drugs. Today ends my Happy Heart February weight loss challenge. This month I've devoted more to emotional wellness. For me, this means overcoming toxic shame and chronic guilt and working to heal CPTSD (complex post-traumatic stress disorder). This stems from parental exploitation, neglect, abuse and parentification and was compounded by gaslighting. 

I worked through this month exposing experiences in which this has happened throughout my life. For the first time in my almost 6 decade life, I've said what happened. I've told secrets. I've said how I felt about it. I've been honest with myself and you my readers instead of covering up and participating in my own gaslighting. It might have seemed that none of this had anything to do with how I got overweight or how I lost 100 pounds. It did in the sense that getting emotionally healthier is crucial to getting physically healthier. 

Beginning tomorrow, I'm issuing a March Madness Weight Loss Challenge that will include some avant garde tips and "mad" ways to lose weight. We'll end this Happy Heart February by sharing that part of how I lost 100 pounds was with weight loss challenges such as these. Even if I had a rough previous month, I can always restart working on my health goals. And a new month provides the perfect time for that fresh start! Love you all, mar

How I lost 100 pounds by talking back: Happy Heart February tips for weight loss and joy!

Hello friends of this blog on how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass or weight loss drugs. This month, I'm sharing a Happy Heart February weight loss challenge. It's not so much about diet as healing heart hurts. If you've struggled with self-care or toxic shame and guilt, here are ways to heal that broken heart and create a happy one. 

We talked in the last post about how too much caring for others and not enough self-care destroys us. Recovery means growing skin to protect us from toxic shame, guilt, manipulation and exploitation. The first step is recognize how shame and guilt have broken down my ability to care for myself. Journaling and talking to a trusted friend or counselor helps. Verbalizing what happened and how it felt, helps lance the toxin stored in my wounded heart. 

I was raised to think it was a mortal sin to question the authority of the adults in my life. That talking back, "sassing", arguing and thinking for myself was wrong. The Bible was beaten to tell me that God expected me to obey them. And He does but not when they contradict Him. Not when they hurt, exploit or manipulate me. Not when they make me do things they won't do themselves. Not when I have to do as they say but not as they do. Those actions confuse, break and destroy. They are not of God. 

To heal, I NEED to argue with wrong messages, to talk back to the voices guilting and shaming me. To contradict the notion that God expects me to take care of others but not me. I need to question hypocrisy, deceit and self-serving manipulation and exploitation. I need to let God define for he expects of me and not let others' paraphrase for their own ends.   

If you have struggled with anything like this, you'll know what I mean when I say that if feels strange and wrong to do these things. Years of conditioning have trained me to knee-jerk self-doubt. But if I listen to God, I find reassurance that the old ways are not the right ones. And each time, it gets easier. 

You might wonder, as I do, how to separate wrong learning from right. Should I discard everything I was taught? How do I hold on to what's good while detaching from what's toxic? All good questions that we'll look at in the next post. 

How I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass with the sleeping bag principle

Hello friends of this blog on how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass or weight loss drugs! Oh how I love to write titles that intrigue! You may be ( I hope you are!) wondering how I lost 100 pounds with the sleeping bag principle. Explaining is going to require sharing some painful past experiences but I hope it will help you. And talking about it, I've learned, helps me. 

I grew up learning that I was responsible for everyone else and to take care of others at the expense of taking care of myself. I didn't know that I wasn't supposed to feel constant pain, guilt and shame and self-hatred. I didn't know that I was supposed to take care of myself and so didn't have the slightest idea of how or what I even needed. 

Well you may ask what the heck this has to do with weight loss or gain, obesity or how I lost 100 pounds. And that's a good question. Actually, caring for others to the harm of myself meant I didn't get needs met. I didn't eat enough and in college, dropped down to around 100 pounds. I cut myself short at every turn. I was so used to going without (a bed, warmth, enough food, adequate health care, even a home) that I thought this was how it was supposed to be. 

So going without got me too thin, but it also got me overweight too. After losing two stillborn babies, I was depressed and miserable. I asked a doctor for help and he asked me what antidepressant I wanted (?!?). So I said Paxil which turned out to be the wrong prescription. But not knowing how to care for myself, I didn't wonder at a doctor asking me to prescribe my own antidepressant. 

Paxil didn't just impede healing, it slammed the door on it. I got more and more overweight, felt more and more apathy and got more and more depressed. Fast forward to 2011 and I'm in morbid obesity. I overate and over-drank because Paxil took out my limit switches. I was confused, exhausted and in agony,  mentally, emotionally and physically. And clueless where to turn. 

Then one evening, I had a flash of insight. I saw my obesity for what it was. And I realized that I could do something about it. But first, I had to reprogram those feelings of worthlessness. I had to redefine, or define, what I really needed. 

And I did that by looking at how I was able to take care of others. I knew what they needed: love, affirmation, safety, warmth, a home, a sense of self, security, nutritious food, health care when they were ill. I had to come to understand that I needed those same things. 

So about the sleeping bag. When I was 17, I went camping with friends. Everyone had sleeping bags, tents, overnight bags with suits, towels, sunscreen, you know, all the stuff you need. I didn't bring anything, not only because I didn't have most of them, it didn't even occur to me that I would need them. I had always been left to manage for myself, pretty much. A youth leader took pity on me and gave me an army blanket but I still froze at night and got a rash because turns out, I'm allergic to wool. 

I remembered this experience a few years ago and realized that it was by no means an isolated instance. As a kid and teen, I often lack basic necessities. And what wasn't provided, I learned to live without. But, oddly or not, I knew that other people needed these things. I never questioned why other family members had bikes, beds, pillows,  toys, desks, proper clothing and shoes while I had to buy my own, use cast offs or manage without. I understood that others needed a their own bedroom but that I had to sleep in the baby's room. That I had to do all the chores so others could relax. 

So while I didn't get the message that I required care as a kid, I knew, as a parent, my kids did. Looking at how I provided for them (not perfectly, of course, but doing the best I could), that I should give myself the same things. And I'm setting about now to get my head around how to do that. This is a huge part of how I weaned off Paxil, found more effective ways to manage depression and lost 100 pounds. 

Stay tuned for more on self-care. 

New Year, Old You weight loss challenge and the emotional health component

Hello pals of  this blog on how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass or weight loss drugs. Today in my New Year, Old You weight loss challenge, I'm preparing for my mental health counseling appointment and thinking about how much emotional health plays into weight loss or gain, obesity, and overall health. We hear on the gastric bypass reality show "My 600-lb Life" heartbreaking stories of abuse, neglect, shame, grief and depression. Categorically speaking, there's no way to get healthy physically if the emotional health part isn't addressed. 

I'm titling this challenge New Year Old You because while I may want to lose weight, I don't want to change the core me. And that's integral to the mental health component of obesity. I want to clean up the outside so the inside can shine through. It's always a joy to watch "My 600-lb Life" patients discover, after gastric bypass, the real person they are and the lives they were meant to lead. It's exciting to see the laziness, whining, self-pitying and denial give way to energetic, joyful, participating in life! 

In morbid obesity, we become someone we're not. We adopt unhealthy behaviors and spiral into misery. Part of how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass or weight loss drugs, was to rediscover the old me, the warrior, adventurer, lover, friend and carer buried inside. I had to do battle with demons of guilt, shame, helpless hopelessness and fear. I had to (and still have to) unpack neglect, abuse, grief, anxiety, and depression. 

If you need someone to tell you that you deserve to be happy and healthy, please, let that person be me! You can do whatever you need to do to find that, with the help of your higher power! I love you and am cheering you on! 

Love, mar

How I lost 100 pounds by understanding hunger vs cravings and abating vs satiating

Hello friends of this blog on how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass or weight loss drugs. In the last blog post, I discussed portion control. Today, we'll explore misunderstanding hunger, which is probably the main driving force behind weight gain and obesity. Gastric bypass patients on "My  600-lb Life" are shown constantly eating and thinking about food. They are convinced that they won't get full on the 1200 calorie diet that "My 600-lb Life" Dr. Now puts them on. Part of how I lost 100 pounds was understand hunger vs cravings and abating vs satiating hunger.  

Part of how I got overweight was by taking Paxil which threw off my limit switches. I ate too much without realizing it. I've seen other people with obesity, do this too. I once watch a morbidly overweight friend with opioid addiction, eat an entire package of cookies in her sleep. Antidepressants have a bad habit of causing weight gain because of this. So do opioids. Many people on "My 600-lb Life" are also on antidepressants and often opioids. 

Part of how I lost 100 pounds was with a 1200 calorie diet. To succeed with calorie restricting, you have to accept that you will not always feel completely full. Your hunger is abated vs satiated. And further hunger may be cravings (obsessing on certain foods). Hunger and satiation are quantitative. You have to determine whether you are actually feeling hungry or just thinking about food and if so, how hungry you really are. 

I think the 1200 calorie diet worked for me because I've gotten used to feeling a little hungry all the time. I don't need to be completely full to feel satisfied. Having short-term antidepressant induced obesity, and not a lifetime habit of overeating, it wasn't so difficult to practice portion control. It was easier to identify cravings as thoughts about rather than need for food. 

In the next post, I'll discuss some "Jedi mind tricks" to practice willpower and talk yourself out of eating. 

 

How I lost 100 pounds with portion control, the missing link in weight loss

Hello my friends of this blog on how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass or weight loss drugs. I celebrate my 10th anniversary of shedding morbid obesity and while I'm still, according to the BMI a little overweight, I've managed to maintain weight loss. Today while enjoying some homemade mac and cheese, I realized that a large part of how I lost 100 pounds was with  portion control and that this is the missing link in weight loss. 

I often look to the gastric bypass reality show "My 600-lb Life" for links to obesity and inspiration for blog posts on how to lose weight. And one major reason "My 600-lb Life" participants end up needing gastric bypass bariatric surgery is portion control fail. They not only eat very calorie dense foods but also way too much. 

I call portion control the missing link in diet discussion because, while we talk about what to eat, we don't talk enough about how much. Probably the biggest hurdle for folks on "My 600-lb Life" is amend 12,000 calories a day to a 1200 calorie diet. I got to thinking about this because as I was about to write a post on diet recipes for favorite comfort foods, I realized that I don't always want diet versions. I want the real thing: gooey mac and cheese, meat lovers lasagna with real pasta, not lentil noodles and Lindt Lindor truffles, not sugar-free Splenda chocolate that taste more like playground monkey bars than chocolate. 

That's one reason obesity is such a problem: we like our comfort foods and diet versions mostly don't satisfy.  Part of how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass was to eat as though I had had bariatric surgery, as if I  had a smaller stomach that could only hold smaller portions. At first, when my stomach was larger, I was really hungry. So I filled up on vegetables. Later as my stomach shrunk, I was able to feel more satisfied with portion control. 

I did make diet recipes of favorite foods because let's face it, 100-200 calories of mac and cheese is like 3 bites. And I'm not going to get full on that. But I wove it into my daily 1200 calorie diet. I also learned to rethink satisfied hunger and accept the fact that it was okay to feel some. I'll blog more on that in the next post as this is a biggee in weight loss. 

How I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass by being prepared for "those days"

Hey my dear friends of this blog on how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass surgery or weight loss drugs. How ya doing? Me, I'm having one of those days. A day which feels like a year. Where it's one step forward and 26 steps back. All I want to do is put on my jammie pants, crawl into bed with a book and eat lasagna and Lindt truffles (dark chocolate) all day. 

It occurred to me that being ready for these kinds of days is how I lost 100 pounds and overcame the "obesity mindset." And being ready includes understanding why I'm having one of "those days" in the first place. Clearly, I'm needing something: rest, recuperation, down time, a day to not just do something but sit there (thank you Alanon). 

As for the pasta and sweets, I may actually be needing that too. Our bodies are so intelligently designed that they tell us when we are low on something. Our brains operate on glucose (sugar) so if I'm tired, I may need a jolt of sugar to feed my brain. That doesn't mean refined sugar, necessarily. An apple or banana will do just as well. 

Having said that, one day of eating too many truffles won't hurt. It's the pattern unhealthy eating. If I maintain my 1200 calorie diet 80-90% of the time, the cheat days will not derail weight loss. But they can lead to breakdown in the 1200 calorie diet momentum. If you've seen the gastric bypass reality show "My 600-lb Life" you know that obesity happens when "those days" become everyday experience. 

"My 600-lb Life" shows what happens when we're not prepared for "those days." Feeling depressed, anxious, stressed and exhausted can feel like forever. It seems when you're in the tunnel that the light at the end will never shine. "My 600-lb Life" shows overweight people drowning their sorrows in food. Overeating and under-exercising become the norm rather than the exception. And the more we overeat and sit around the more overweight we become and the more depressed, anxious, tired and stressed we become. 

I challenge us in the "New Year, Old You" weight loss plan, to welcome "those days" as a chance to unwind, but to stay the course on the 1200 calorie diet so that we can feel better ASAP. Stay tuned for more on  how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass, with feel good tips, recipes and helps. 

How I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass or weight loss drugs: New year, old you

Happy New Year, my dear friends of this blog on how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass or weight loss drugs! Last year I began a monthly series of weight loss challenges, or should I say health maintenance challenges. I began in January with the New Year challenge and kept it going. Now in 2024, my thrown gauntlet is to ring in a new year, old you! 

What the heck, you may be wondering...old me? I thought I was supposed to try and create a new me?? That's what all the diets and weight loss shows advertise, a new you. Some celebrity is always "debuting stunning weight loss transformation." Entire weight loss shows like "Mama June" and "My 600-lb Life" are based around makeover. 

 Well, I think that's an unhealthy goal to strive for. We inhabit the bodies we were given. We're told in the Bible that we are made in the image and likeness of God. So why should I try or even want to remake myself? What I want to do is be the best ole' me I can be. I want to live my healthiest in my God-given skin. And keeping the focus on that is  part of how I lost 100 pounds. 

See, I used to have the makeover mindset. I didn't like body, or mind or person I'd been assigned. A series of unfortunate events and relationships throughout my life, have chipped away at my self-image. So I began my weight loss adventure, seeking a do-over. And I will say that after I lost 100 pounds I looked and felt a lot different. When they say that someone is unrecognizable after massive weight loss, it is in part true. The confidence boost you get from an achievement is partly responsible for that. 

But even after I lost 100 pounds, I had to accept that I was still me and I have found that this is a good thing. So my challenge is New Habits for a New Year in a good old you! 

How I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass and can do it again

 

Hello friends of this blog on how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass. Today I had the unpleasant experience of seeing myself in a candid photo. I realized that I have gained weight again and from the side, look pretty overweight. So before I lost weight, this would have sent me into a tailspin of depression. But now I know that I can lose weight again. 

Part of how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass was to identify negative and hurtful self-image messages and to discover my own ability to lose weight and overcome obesity. Now, instead of defaulting to self-hatred and shame, I look at myself objectively. 

First, I acknowledge that the picture I saw was a side profile. I wearing a fitted hoodie and was bending over. This is going to show every bulge and also, bent over, makes me look more overweight than I would standing straight. Am I making excuses and in  denial over weight gain? Am I acting like the gastric bypass patients on "My 600-lb Life" who blind themselves to obesity and justify weight gain with falsehoods?

No, I'm just clarifying to myself part of why I look so much bigger so that I can avoid the negative self-image and stay focused and goal oriented. If you've ever struggled with low self esteem, you'll know how it can sabotage healthy choices. Low self-esteem causes depression which can lead to comfort eating of comfort food. Low self-esteem is actually be counter-productive to weight loss. 

That said, I've gained weight. Not 100 pounds, thank God. I'm may be overweight, according to some BMI scales. but that's debatable and I'm not obese. Are there reasons I've gained weight? Sure. My husband has been off on disability with a very painful shoulder injury. We've been eating more junk food and not been as active. BUT, these are reasons, not excuses. Here's what I have learned about reasons. To lose weight, I have to take the focus off from them and put it on the solution. Which is direct action.

So the next step, the easy part, is to do what I did when I lost 100 pounds (without gastric bypass or weight loss drugs): go back to the calorie cuts I made when I first lost weight. I might not even need to restart the 1200 calorie diet though I think it would be a good idea starting after Christmas. 

In the next post on how I lost 100 pounds and can do it again, I'll look at super simple calorie cuts to lose weight!

I'm praying you all have just the kind of holiday you need it to be <3 mar

December Weight Loss Challenge: Advent Fast to anticipate Christmas Feast

Hello friends of this blog on how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass surgery or weight loss drugs! Each month since January, this year, I've been issuing a series of monthly weight loss challenges (wow did that year fly by!) This month, I'm calling for an Advent fast to anticipate the Christmas feast. For four weeks prior to the Christmas holiday, Catholics observe Advent, a penitential season which prepares our hearts for the coming of Jesus. As in Lent prior to Easter, we up our prayers, fasting and almsgiving.

Part of how I lost 100 pounds was with a 1200 calorie diet such as Dr. Now uses on "My 600-lb Life" gastric bypass reality show. When I lost 35 pounds in 1992, after the birth of my 3rd child, I used intermittent fasting, a  weight loss technique that's come into vogue. I fasted on bread and water every Wednesday and Friday, for spiritual reasons, as our Lady of Medjugorje called us to. I had no thought to lose weight. But lose weight I did and it was a big surprise. 

So now every time I practice intermittent fasting, during religious seasons of Advent and Lent, I can't help  wondering and hoping to lose weight. Admittedly, it kind of takes the focus off spiritual growth to have this ulterior motive. But I guess it's all good because if I'm overweight and need to lose weight, then I'm doing my body as well as my soul some good with intermittent fasting. 

And really, intermittent fasting, or observing a 1200 calorie diet for a few weeks is good for emotional and mental health as well. It helps get the focus off food. In obesity, before I lost 100 pounds, I didn't practice self-control so well. And I didn't like that feeling of being out of control. "My 600-lb Life" shows people with morbid obesity struggling with food addiction and out-of-control eating. 

Following a 1200 calorie diet or intermittent fasting empowers me and makes me feel better about myself. "My 600-lb Life" shows gastric bypass patients happier as they take back control from food addiction. Now this might sound overwhelming to make such a drastic switch if you're used to eating a great deal more. But as I said in an earlier post, we don't have to do it forever. As Alanon says, we take it one day at a time. We ask for the strength just for today, to make choices that are in our best interest. 

And it's good for social health too. Eating less and simpler frees up monies to share with those who need it more than I do. It helps me live Advent virtues of love and generosity. Feel free to join me on the December weight loss challenge and even share it on social media! And stay tuned for more on how I lost 100 pounds. 

September Weight Loss Challenge: How I lost 100 pounds with fat-burning protein keto salads

Greetings friends of this blog on how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass or weight loss drugs. In January I began a series of monthly anti-obesity weight loss challenges and this month is Back to Basics September and the weight loss challenge is to restart or start the diet that most of us fell off during the summer. Following the 1200 calorie diet (similar to Dr. Now's of "My 600-lb Life") is part of how I lost 100 pounds. So I'm challenging myself to get back on that diet plan to maintain weight loss. One of the best diet foods I've used to lose weight are protein salads. Here are fat-burning protein keto salads (also called all food group salads). 

All food group or fat-burning protein keto salads feature a combination of vegetables, fruit, protein (meat, nuts and seeds), dairy, healthy MUFAS and some grains. They are a complete meal in themselves and really help curb hunger that is the bane of the 1200 calorie diet. Keto salads are perfect for those trying to beat obesity such as folks of "My 600-lb Life" experience. Or if you're just trying to maintain a healthy weight on a vegetarian or vegan diet, protein salads work well too. 

Berry Good Seeds Salad: So it's pretty common knowledge that nuts and seeds are a super good source of protein. But what's less known is that seeds are superior to nuts for fat-burning weight loss. My keto salads feature a variety of seeds like pepitas (pumpkin seeds), sunflower, chia seeds, celery seed and seeds from berries: blackberries, blueberries, strawberries, raspberries and pomegranate (kind of a berry fruit with the seeds inside). Oh and value added, berries are great antioxidants! 

So for my fat-burning salads, I start with spring mix, romaine/leaf lettuce and/or spinach. I sprinkle liberally with pepitas, add raspberries, blueberries or blackberries,  cashews and almonds and then mix in cooked chicken breast chunks or ahi tuna. I'll throw in feta or blue cheese chunks and top with Aji Verde sauce for dressing. At its simplest, Aji Verde (Peruvian) is blended cilantro, garlic, parmesan, lime juice and jalapeno. A little mayo can be added, but I just use mashed avocado. You can add the huacatay and hot yellow peppers if desired. I might also top with hummus or dress with lemon-vinegar-olive oil. 

You can jazz this up with any combination of nuts, seeds, berries and veggies you like. You can sub canned tuna, swordfish, salmon, steak pieces, bacon crumbles, etc. In fall, I add chopped apples (McIntosh or Granny Smith). You can use dried fruit but be sure to get the no added sugar type. If you're not vegan or egg-intolerant (I am), add diced hard-cooked egg. I don't add grain because it's just extra carbs but could use couscous or quinoa. And extra vegetables like colored peppers, onions or scallions, broccoli and cauliflower just add nutritional benefits without calories. 

All these work well for fighting obesity because they do fill you up and curb hunger. Just be sure to avoid the trap that I see so often on "My 600-lb Life." Patients awaiting gastric bypass will sabotage their own weight loss by taking a lovely, healthy salad and loading it up with all the not good: salad dressing, extra cheese and croutons. Those just max out your 1200 calorie diet with unnecessary fats and carbs. 

Stay tuned for more weight loss challenges, diet recipes and ideas on how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass. 

September Weight Loss Challenge: Back to Basics on 1200 calorie diet

 Hello my beloved friends and followers of this blog on how I lost 100 pounds (without gastric bypass or weight loss drugs)! I began this year issuing a monthly weight loss challenge but took a break in July and August. Now we're back in business with a September weight loss challenge: back to basics on the 1200 calorie diet. 

This blog explores how I lost 100 pounds in 2013-2014. I was so overweight that I was showing signs of hypertension, diabetes and liver problems. Ten years later (has it been that long??), I've managed to maintain most of the weight loss. I've yo-yo-ed a few times gaining back some weight. My BMI (body mass index) might contend that I'm slightly overweight again. But I don't place 100% faith in the BMI because there are so many other factors (overall  health, age, muscle tone, fat to muscle ratio, energy level, fit of clothing, the list is to long to rest so much weight on a mere height to weight ratio). 

Having said that, I know that my eating habits have gotten sloppy. So for September, I'm refocusing on the 1200 calorie diet that was integral to how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass or weight loss drugs. And summer is an easy time to get lazy with eating habits. I mean, c'mon, I live in Ice Cream Parlor Shop Central. There are literally seven ice cream shops in a half mile radius. That's a lot of temptation (one is actually called Sweet Temptations!) 

Add to that the BBQs, cookouts, picnics, graduations, weddings, baptisms, Bar Mitzvahs, yada yada and there's always something to derail that 1200 calorie diets. But school starting up is a good time to get more regimented about eating healthier. Funnily enough, next month's weight loss challenge is going to focus on how to fall off the regimented diet but we'll get to that later. There really is a method to my madness, I promise! 

Part of how I overcame obesity was to follow a diet plan similar to the one gastric bypass surgeon Dr. Now of the reality TV show "My 600-lb Life" uses. On "My 600-lb Life" people with morbid obesity unlearn (hopefully) life-taking overeating habits and relearn life-giving new ones. There are some things the "My 600-lb Life" doctors use that I don't and vice-versa. Stay tuned for more on what I do and eat to maintain overall weight loss. (some then and now photos for comparison)

How I lost 100 pounds: surprise weight loss secret

Hello friends of this blog on how I lost 100 pounds after age 50 without drugs or gastric bypass surgery. So today I'm sharing a weight loss secret that I'm pretty sure I going to surprise you. It has nothing to do with diet, exercise or the Alanon mental health tips I've shared. So what is this miracle weight loss thing? 

One word: sleep. Or improved sleep. And conversely lack of sleep was part of how I got from normal to overweight to obesity. I've always struggled with PTSD (and ongoing traumatic stress disorder). Since childhood, I have nightly, night-long, terrible and terrifying nightmares. A sleep study showed that I spend about 5 minutes a night in deep delta sleep (normal is about 3-4 hours). I wake up frequently every  night and can't remember the last time I slept 5-6 hours without waking. 

I've been diagnosed with Obstructive Sleep Apnea and used a cpap breathing machine. I have scoliosis, back and cervical arthritis, tendinitis and carpal tunnel syndrome and chronic sinus trouble. I had congenital hip dysplasia as a toddler and it left me with very misaligned back, hips and legs. I struggled with headaches I later learned were migraines. I'm in a lot of pain in many parts of my body all night long. 

Sleep is more of a nemesis than a friend. I used to fall asleep every time I sat down especially when driving. I've nodded off standing up. I walk and talk in my sleep. It made me very unpopular at sleepovers and the butt of a lot of jokes in my family. In many pictures my eyes are half-closed I'm that constantly tired. Even as a child, I was tired a lot. When others were bouncing out of bed at 6 am, I could hardly drag myself out. Often, I was too tired to go out and play and I dreaded organized sports and games because I had so little energy.  

This was in the late 60s early 70s and I don't  know if people were just less informed or didn't care. Apparently a tired kid was an anomaly. Children are supposed to be full of energy so I must just be lazy. Not one of my four parents thought to find out why Marilisa was always tired. They just piled more work on. I was expected to keep up with a lot of chores, wait on adults, made to sleep with young children and get up at night with them, spend long hours caring for foster and half siblings and was essentially parentified by age 10. All that has had a disastrous effect on sleep to this day. 

It didn't even occur to me how critical sleep is to lose weight until I began to blog about how I lost 100 pounds. And I assumed my crazy sleep was normal and just thought I was less good at dealing than those with more energy.  But there's good news. I now have a loving family who didn't blow off my nightmares, sleep talking, chronic pain, apnea, etc. They have been helping me to see that these are not normal and that I need to find ways to sleep better. 

The nightmares and chronic pain haven't abated but together we are exploring ways to make it better. And the best part is that someone cares. I'll blog more about sleep aids I've tried, what works and how it was helpful in weight loss. 

How I lost 100 pounds with one surprise trick: weight loss without diet

 Hiya friends of this blog on how I lost 100 pounds. I've not posted in awhile because I've been busy with grandkids in one way or another, which brings me to the topic of today's post. Weight loss without diet. You heard me right. Here's one trick to lose weight that will surprise you. 

Most weight loss methods focus on diet and certainly the 1200 calorie diet was core to how I lost 100 pounds. But another component to shedding obesity had nothing to do with any eating plan. It's a step that many diets and most fitness plans overlook. And that's by simply keeping busy doing daily family activities. 

In my case, weight loss involved a lot of child care. When our children were younger I never had a bit of trouble maintaining a healthy weight/body size because I was busy non-stop with all that goes into tending to a large family: cooking, cleaning, laundry, carrying, nursing babies, playing with children, shopping, running (literally) errands, etc., etc.

I only started to struggle with obesity after losing two stillborn babies in 3 years. Anxiety and depression went from severe to life-threatening. I took the antidepressant Paxil (which is notorious for causing weight gain) and began working from home at a sedentary job. I couldn't and didn't keep up. I lost my shit on a daily basis. One of the
side effects was that I got very overweight. 

I was able to quit Paxil and all antidepressants and that actually started me on a mission to get happier, which coincidently or not, was a big part of how I lost 100 pounds. Fast forward to 2023 (how time flies) and kids are grown and flown but now there are grandkids to keep me busy. And the surprise was how caring for them still keeps the weight off, at almost 60 years old. Also, once I quit Paxil, I never looked back. 

So I can hear some of you saying, that's all well and fine but I don't have kids or grandkids (or any nearby). Well, you can still lose weight or maintain a healthy body size by caring for pets, doing yard or housework and keeping active. 

The show "My 600-lb Life" shows what happens when we don't keep active. Every single one of the gastric bypass patients shown is not only crippled by obesity but also morbidly lazy. "My 600-lb Life" shows people doing nothing but sitting or laying and eating. After putting them on the 1200 calorie diet, gastric bypass surgeon Dr. Now's main objective is to get them up and moving. 

And the ironic thing is that the path to obesity was relatively short but the road to recovery is long and it's made longer not only by the overeating but also the over-sitting and under-moving. More on that later. 

For now, let's jump into June by setting some get moving goals. 

May Weight Loss Challenge: How I lost 100 pounds learning to ride a bike

Hey friends of this blog on how I lost 100 pounds! Since the new year 2023, I've been issuing weight loss challenges and this month's May weight loss challenge, is Bloomin' Reboot. The concept is that to develop healthier lifestyles we need not to bloom where we're planted but to uproot old habits and transplant ourselves in healthier soil. I'm using my own example and those of people with morbid obesity on "My 600-lb Life." 

So today's Bloomin' Reboot weight loss challenge tip is to share how I lost 100 pounds by learning (or remembering how I learned) to ride a bike and do likewise with diet. Alanon uses this image in working toward So when I learned to ride my bike, I initially fell off it, occasionally. It hurt and I was tempted to stay off and toss the thing on the rubbish heap. My Grampa advised that I stick with it and it would get easier. So I did. And so it did. 

In overcoming obesity, following a calorie restricting diet or intermittent fasting, we sometimes "fall off the bike." For whatever reason, I would occasionally cease to follow my calorie restricting 1200 calorie diet. Maybe I was depressed or anxious and mistook junk food for comfort food. Maybe I just got tired of the scrutiny of the 1200 calorie diet. "My 600-lb Life" shows people struggling with those same issue. Over the years since I lost 100 pounds, I have gained some back, lost weight, gained again, etc. 

But the key thing is that once fallen, I don't  have to stay off. I know A) how I lost 100 pounds in the first place and B) that I can go back to calorie restricting on the 1200 calorie diet whenever I want to. To sum it up, I can lose weight whenever I want to. Whether I was as overweight as those on "My 600-lb Life" or not, it's a path I don't want to go down again. And I never have to because I know what to do to prevent it. I'm rooting out old habits and transplanting myself in healthier soil so I can blossom more fully. 

How I lost 100 pounds by comfort eating

 Hi guys! Today on this blog about how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass (after age 45), I'm looking at yet another paradox (there seem to be a lot of those in weight loss, LOL). Getting overweight is not just about overeating or eating the wrong foods. It's about knowing when to eat and when not to eat. The paradox is that part of how I lost 100 pounds was by comfort eating. I'll explain. 

Stress or comfort eating has a bad reputation in weight loss think. People on "My  600-lb Life" will talk about how they eat when they are sad, the usual definition of comfort eating. And comfort eating traditional "comfort food" (sweets, salty snacks, fatty, fried foods, junk food) is a one-way trip to obesity and a starring role on "My 600-lb Life." But having said that, comfort eating the right things at the right time can help lose weight. 

What got me thinking about this how I'm feeling today. I'm not at my best emotionally. I'm stressed, dealing with some frustrating situations, nervous, anxious and a bit depressed if I'm honest pretty irritable and not much in the mood to encourage anyone, let alone myself. I feel fat and ugly and mean. But being honest is the path up. And I realized that trying to lose weight, I sometimes ignore hunger, which drops my blood sugar, makes me edgier, more anxious and depressed. Lather rinse repeat. 

And here's where "My 600-lb Life" folks have it right. Sometimes, when depressed, we do need to eat. Hungry low blood sugar brains can't function properly. But not what is usually thought of as "comfort food." Sugar amps up heart rate and slows metabolism. Salt inflames and reduces circulation. Fatty, processed foods make me sluggish and tired. And crabby. So the first order of business is to eat something but not junk food. 

Part of how I lost 100 pounds was with real comfort eating of genuine comfort food that is nutritious and satisfying. Food that fuels my brain and boosts my metabolism (energy level). For me, that's high protein, high fiber, whole grain, keto, high MUFA/PUFU, zero HFCS foods like berries, nuts and seeds, keto bread, chicken breast, fish and rainbow vegetable salads. I can feel my blood sugar rising and my mood lifting. 

How I lost 100 pounds eating my favorite foods (truly!)

 Hello dear friends of this blog on how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass! In keeping with the weight loss challenges I began in January, in April we're doing Spring into Weight Loss and exploring ways to lose weight in healthy ways. Today I'll explain how I lost 100 pounds by eating my favorite foods. Really! 

The HAES (Healthy at Every Size) movement would have us believe that there's no such thing as overweight and that even obesity is healthy if you feel good about yourself. It's true that no amount of weight loss will help if you don't have a positive self-image. But being very overweight or even just a little can lead to low self-esteem, not because society tells me I'm fat but because excess fat is slowing me down. I sometimes wonder how much of HAES is about positivity and how much is about shielding eating habits that have lead to obesity. 

On the show "My 600-lb Life", people with morbid obesity must work to lose weight, before and after gastric bypass. One of the biggest roadblocks is "comfort food" and "comfort eating." "My 600-lb Life" patients will do anything to protect eating habits that got them to "My 600-lb Life." They are convinced, and try to convince Dr. Now that they need their "comfort food" and the tons of extra calories in it. 

So this may seem like an excursion from the point of my post on how I lost 100 pounds eating favorite foods. But that's just what I did: eat comfort foods just made differently with calorie restricting and keto food swaps. I did have to retrain my brain to appreciate subtle rather than intense sweetness or saltiness. Here are my best calorie restricting food swaps.

Refined sugar food swaps: I sub fruit (apples, bananas, berries, grapefruit) for sugar in recipes. I bake with bananas and apples and cut out refined sugar. In BBQ dishes, I use different berries, peaches, apples or pineapple instead of refined sugar. 

I swap Bragg's Nutritional Yeast for salt and cheese in dishes to boost nutrients and protein and cut sodium. I eat keto or light bread and olive oil butter for calorie restricting. I sub cauliflower for wheat, potatoes and rice. I wrap sandwiches in lettuce leaves instead of bread. I sub Greek yogurt for milk and sour cream. I add ground nuts to breads to ramp up protein and fiber. I sub blended cottage cheese for cream, sour cream, cheese and Velveeta in diet recipe versions of macaroni and cheese, Alfredo and cheese soups. I use bone broth for any kind of broth to up protein. 

There are so many ways to make diet recipes of favorite foods and best of all, I like my diet versions better than the originals! 

My Weight Loss Secret that has nothing to do with diet

 Hello friends of this blog on how I lost 100 pounds. Writing these posts has become my therapy and I thank you for following. I know sometimes it's kind of raw. I write about what's going on with me at the time, as it relates to weight loss, or not, and I'm hoping it helps you too. Judging by the numbers, the resonance is pretty high. I try not to make it too "pep talkie" definitely not judgey and not even too cheerful. There's nothing I hate more, when I'm low, is a Sweet Polly Purebred trying to perk me up. That said, I have found that positivity over negativity works better for pretty much any health issue, including obesity. 

And that brings me to the point of this post: my weight loss secret that has nothing to do with diet. For background, a big part of how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass was with calorie restricting on a 1200 calorie diet. BUT that came after some other things that had zero to do with calorie restricting. I was only able to, or maybe I should say, realized I needed to follow a 1200 calorie diet, after these things fell into place. 

And it involves several paradoxes. First, I had to hit the wall and spiral into a well of misery. This was not pleasant. But it was necessary that I take the blinders off and accept just how overweight I was AND that it was snowballing downhill at a scary fast rate. So the first step to getting better was to realize just how bad it was. "My 600-lb Life" shows this painful process and how important it is, even more than gastric bypass, for weight loss. 

Like the folks on "My 600-lb Life", I had to stop making excuses for being overweight while also rooting out the reasons for weight gain. Another paradox. I couldn't lose weight or even begin to try until I got it sorted how I went from normal weight, to overweight to obesity. But I had to stop using those reasons as excuses to do nothing about it. 

The next paradox was, as Alanon says in step one,to realize that I was powerless over people, places and obesity. This is not powerless as in the helpless self-pity we see (and which I exhibited) on "My 600-lb Life." That kind blames everyone else and yet expects others to also fix me. I had to flip the script and stop waiting for others to change, to fix me, and take responsibility for me with the help of my Higher Power whom I choose to call God. 

Maybe you, like me, are saying "Whoa, wait, stop. How can I be powerless and still fix myself?? Makes no sense!" And yanno what? Your'e right. I still haven't quite figured it out. But one thing I do know is that it works. When I surrendered to the power of my Higher Power, I received the, I don't know, mojo? energy? willpower? to work at weight loss, with calorie restricting, following 1200 calorie diet. 

Still confused? So am I 😃😏😃 I think that's how it's supposed to be. As Fr. Richard Rohr says, (paraphrased) once we think we know everything we get complacent and stagnant. So I'm approaching weight loss and health and life in general, as the Buddhists suggest, as a learner, a child, with eyes and mind wide open to whatever lessons life and Higher Power have for me today. 

Want to join me on the quest? Stay tuned! 

HAES or BMI? Does "diet culture" promote fatphobia and is that a bad thing?

One of the biggest dividing issues today (and I know cuz I read Reddit) is whether use the BMI (body mass index) to determine healthy weight or whether HAES (Healthy at Every Size) is right. I say both and neither. HAES and the BMI are both helpful in maintaining a healthy lifestyle and both can be taken to extremes and be harmful. Part of how I lost 100 pounds was by using the BMI as a guide but also coming to understand that I am, if not healthy at every size, at least acceptable and worthy of love. 

People who think Healthy at Every Size eschew what they call the "diet culture." The term is often used cynically to imply that those who "buy into it" are somehow gullible or ignorant. I'm not even sure most users know what they mean by it. Loosely, it means being constantly weight loss diet minded. It's also called fatphobia: a fear of being overweight and body-shaming those who are what the BMI might deem overweight. 

I say might because there is some wiggle room, even with the BMI. It's an ideal weight range calculated by height to weight ratio. And in most incarnations, the BMI is limited. It doesn't factor in age, gender, how much weight is muscle vs fat, belly fat (waist size) dress or pants size, ethnicity, overall health, (some are shorter or taller and more prone to "belly fat.") and other pertinent issues. 

People who follow the BMI as I have, are often said to have fatphobia. As a weight loss bloggers, I've been criticized as body-shaming if I suggest that obesity or being overweight might not be healthy. I've been faulted for promoting "diet culture." If by "diet culture" they mean a purchased diet plan, medical weight loss or gastric bypass surgery, I'd agree. I didn't need a paid meal plan, diet club, surgery, personal trainer, doctor supervised medical treatment to lose weight. 

But to suggest that people are healthy at every size, including in morbid obesity, is delusional. "My 600-lb Life" shows what happens when people ignore increasing weight. Yes, what constitutes obesity may differ somewhat. The BMI uses 24 to <30 as overweight and 30 or over as obese. Medically, up to 36 pounds extra is overweight. Obesity is anything over that and morbid obesity is 100 pounds or more overweight. 

I've read a lot of talk about how many people feel healthier at what that definition calls overweight. Is that just an excuse? It depends on the person. "My 600-lb Life" participants will say that they like themselves "fuller" or "fluffier" which translates to 450 pounds of extra weight. 

I've also been surprised when told what someone weighs that it falls into the quite overweight category. They simply don't look overweight. I think the bottom line is that weight is a private matter BUT if every indicator (BMI, doctor, other people) points to it and my health is suffering with weight related complications (diabetes, hypertension, high cholesterol, back and leg problems, heart trouble, OSA, breathing issues) then I owe it to myself to lose weight. 

What woke me up to the fact that I needed to lose weight was being identified by the BMI as obese. If I didn't do something about it, I could have ended up the size of a "My 600-lb Life" patient. Once I accepted it, quit making excuses and hiding my head in the sand. I was able to lose 100 pounds. I still have belly fat and would like to lose more weight. If that means I have fatphobia or I'm a diet culture sycophant, so be it. I don't shame anyone else for weight but I don't like being fat. And I know what's healthy for me. 

How I lost 100 pounds with diet food swaps for childhood comfort foods

Hello my friends! This blog explores how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass surgery. I'm coming up on my 10 anniversary of weight loss and began this year issuing a series of monthly challenges. This month is March to Weight Loss. Now I'm not one to drop a gauntlet and run. I'm sharing ways to lose weight and improve general health. 

Part of how I lost 100 pounds was to rethink comfort foods but also to reimagine my personal comfort foods with low calorie diet food swaps. First a word on where we get our ideas of comfort foods. For most of us, it's childhood. Meals enjoyed as a family, mom's or dad's home-cookin', favorite ethnic dishes related to your background, these often become our cravings in adulthood. 

Now comfort foods implies a good thing: food that makes us feel secure, loved, at home. However, unfortunately, while they may taste great they often high density calorie overload. So not so much feeding our souls as our addictions. When I was young, very few people were overweight. No thought was given to low sodium, low sugar or lowfat. 

Portions were also smaller and getting back to that portion control was a big part of how I lost 100 pounds. But to lose weight I also had to go into calorie deficit (eating fewer than I was used to eating). So calorie restricting on the 1200 calorie diet became my weight loss method of choice. But I also enjoyed those favorite childhood comfort foods by creating diet food swaps. Here are some. 

Keto waffles with blue agave syrup. Waffles have always been a favorite for me. Fake yellow Eggos with Mrs. Butterworth syrup, I'm a happy camper. But as an overweight adult, no. So I switched to high protein keto pancake mix with light olive oil based butter and blue agave syrup. Now I've got nutritious satisfying waffles that help me burn fat and boost metabolism. 

Other diet food swaps include light or keto bread for toast and grilled cheese. And speaking of grilled cheese, one simple diet food swap is to sub mozzarella for higher fat cheese. Same great taste for 30-40% fewer calories. For mac and cheese, swap Velveeta or cream cheese for blended cottage cheese  sauce and add in keto favorite parmesan cheese or feta. Use this for alfredo as well. 

BBQ and sloppy joes are another favorite childhood comfort food. I grind chicken breasts and use for burger. Then I make my own BBQ sauce with peach pineapple salsa, Worchester sauce, a smidge of molasses, garlic, onion, dijon or stone ground mustard, lime juice and liquid smoke (celery salt to taste). This diet food swap BBQ sauce is so much more flavorful than the too-sweet bottled stuff. 

Keep reading this blog on how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass for more diet food swaps! And stay tuned for the April weight loss challenge!