How I lost 100 pounds by figuring out what's eating me

 Hello my dear friends! I started this blog on how I lost 100 pounds, without gastric bypass, a few years ago. I write about what I'm dealing with at the time because we all deal with many of the same issues in the challenge of obesity or being overweight. Some plus-sized issues for me are anxiety, low self esteem and concomitant depression. Ring a bell? I'm sure it does because anxiety, depression, low self esteem, weight gain and obesity are all part of what Alanon calls a stinkin thinkin pattern that so many of fall into. 

Part of how I lost 100 pounds was to source anxiety, then to determine what I really needed and finally, to go about getting needs met. In my March to Weight Loss challenge, I'm challenging anyone who wants to lose weight, to do a little Alanon type detective work to figure out what's at eating you and then to rethink what you really need in terms of comfort, including but also beyond food. 

Sometimes what's eating me is something so small, or petty, that I'm embarrassed. Getting a lowered rating at work or finding a new crop of wrinkles. Anxiety made worse by long Covid 19 brain fog. Other times, the worry is bigger: worrying over a loved one, coming to grips with my own aging, constant PTSD ish nightmares, grief, exhaustion, long Covid 19 symptoms. And really even defining one stressor as "petty" and another "important" is part of the stinkin thinkin. It says that I have to justify what concerns me, that I'm petty for certain worries. 

The gastric bypass reality show "My 600-lb Life" demonstrates not only the threat to life of morbid obesity but also, morbid stinkin thinkin. It's more than just the obvious self-pity, entitlement and weaponized incompetence we see on "My 600-lb Life." If you listen past the moaning and griping, you hear fear (anxiety). And morbid depression. And toxic shame. I would hazard a guess that shame is the single biggest issue that leads to starring roles on "My 600-lb Life." Shame accounts for as many gastric bypass surgeries as over-eating. 

So that gets me back to my own triggers. Toxic shame. Stinkin thinkin says worrying over a low rating is petty. But I'm going to rethink that and say it's actually huge if toxic shame, low self esteem and anxiety are problems. In my head, this spells FAILURE and that's haunted me since childhood. But happily, sourcing that toxic shame can help me find peace of mind. My kind adult self can comfort  little me and remind her that even if she make mistakes, even if others say she's a bad girl, even if adults guilt her into thinking she has to fix their problems, doesn't make any of it true. As our parish priest, Fr. Chuck is so good to remind us, I'm a beloved child of my Heavenly Father. And so are you. Full stop. 

In the next installment of "how I lost 100 pounds" we'll take that new enlightenment and consider what, then, we need instead of food, for comfort. Be well, my precious friends. 

#Marchtoweightloss #longcovid

 

No Junk January Weight Loss Challenge: Replacing Fattitude with Gratitude

 Hello friends! This blog looks at how I lost 100 pounds and all that goes into weight loss. I've started this No Junk January challenge to mark my 10th anniversary of weight loss and to hopefully lose weight that I've accumulated over the last year. Part of how I lost 100 pounds originally was to replace unhealthy "fattitude" (what I call the obesity mindset) with an attitude of gratitude. 

First, what is fattitude? It's the unhealthy thinking that got me overweight in the first place. Fattitude includes negativity, poor body image and low self esteem but also the self pity, blame-shame game and weaponized incompetence of self-defeating behavior. In short it's what Alanon calls stinkin thinkin. We see it clearly in shows like "My 600-lb Life" where gastric bypass hopefuls demonstrate their path to obesity in unhealthy behaviors and dangerous mindsets. But every one of us who is dangerously overweight has exhibited stinkin thinkin and fattitude. 

So, to overcome fattitude (especially the whiny self pity and weaponized incompetence and "helplessness") I'm working on an attitude of gratitude. Instead of dwelling in negative oh-woe-is-me stinkin thinkin, I'm counting my blessings. And they are multitude. For example, since giving up junk food this No Junk January, stinkin thinkin would tell me to bemoan what I can't have. "My 600-lb Life" gastric bypass patients who do this almost always sabotage their own weight loss even after bariatric surgery. 

Gratitude is rejoicing not only in what I can eat but in how great it makes me feel! And actually, it's not that I can't have junk food. Fattitude feels sorry for itself, that some big meany is preventing me from having the goodies. But in reality, it's a choice I'm making and the goodies aren't good for me! I'm grateful that I can choose to eat more mindfully and bring about positive impacts in my life. 

And I give thanks to God for helping me to demilitarize my own self-harming behaviors and move forward. 

Overcoming obesity "thin fat" is as much Alanon as calorie restricting: how weight loss alone fails

Hello dear readers whom I hope I may call friends. In today's chapter on how I lost 100 pounds, I'm looking at obesity shame, "dry fat" and how weight loss alone fails to heal. You may be wondering what "thin fat" means. It's a term I coined, similar to the "dry drunk" of Alanon. A "dry drunk" is an alcoholic who, while not actively drinking, is still not in recovery because all the "stinkin thinkin" that led to alcoholism remains. 

"Thin fat" refers to someone who has lost weight but still hasn't addressed the obesity mindset, or what I call "fat think." I'm going to use as an example, Mama June Shannon of Honey Boo Boo and From Not to Hot fame. Mama June is an extreme example, but many of us struggle with "fat think" even after weight loss. 

Mama June Shannon, mother of pageant star Honey Boo Boo, enjoyed huge weight loss after gastric bypass and other plastic surgery on a reality TV show "From Not to Hot." However, immediately after this transformation, she reverted to old behaviors (fat think). Probably even while she was being nipped and tucked, she continued eating the same. June Shannon has gained back 100 pounds (and counting) but claims to be "comfortable" with it. My guess is this is an excuse to avoid doing the work required to lose weight and also because she never really dealt with the fat think that led to obesity. 

She was one of those gastric bypass patients, such as those seen on "My 600-lb Life" who believe that bariatric surgery alone will lose weight.  I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass. And while I made a million mistakes, one trap I avoided was the bariatric surgery myth of miracle cure. My weight loss was as much Alanon as calorie restricting: I had to examine old patterns of stinkin thinkin, in my case an obesity mindset which led to weight gain. 

I have always considered myself overweight, even when I weighed 110 pounds. I guess I had a form of anorexia, at least mentally. This "fat think" caused untold damage: terrifyingly low self esteem, anxiety panic attacks, depression, stress eating and more I probably haven't even unpacked yet. Weirdly, when I got overweight, it was hard to see because I had such a skewed self-image. I even hit morbid obesity and didn't realize until I took off the "blindness glasses" (more on that later). 

I cannot stress enough that healing obesity is about so much more than weight loss. Further if you lose weight without addressing the stinkin thinkin (and keep revisiting it because it is baffling, cunning and pernicious) it's very easy to regain the weight. Recovery really is one day at a time, every day. Stay tuned for more on how I lost 100 pounds. 

How I boost confidence to lose weight by flipping the script

 Hello again, your friendly neighborhood weight loss coach back with another installment on how I lost 100 pounds and how you can lose weight too if you need to. In my last post, we looked at how weight loss boosts confidence and confidence helps lose weight. And I could hear some of you saying, great, but how do I make confidence where none exists?? Part of how I lost 100 pounds was by
flipping the script. 

So you know how low self esteem tells us we're losers, right? Not in the good kind of obesity losers, the complete and utter failure kind. "My 600-lb Life" shows extreme examples of where this Alanon stinkin thinkin gets us. Low self esteem batters us with negative messages about how much we suck as people. The monkey on our back sneers "lose weight?? you can't even manage to close your mouth, let alone manage a long term diet!" 

The key here is, then, to talk back to that wretched low self esteem and stinkin thinkin. To kick the monkey off our back and out the damn door. To flip the script from negative to positive self-statements. A good way to accomplish that is to use another Alanon slogan, "fake it till you make it." Just start calorie restricting even though stinkin thinkin is telling you it won't work. Just pretend it will work. Imagine yourself losing weight. It's a biological fact that calorie restricting will lose weight. So you will make it. And as you do, you'll feel stronger, more in control and happier in your own fur! 

Stay tuned for more on how I lost 100 pounds. 

How I lost 100 pounds by healing low self esteem

Whether you need to lose weight, gain it or maintain a healthy weight, it's important to address mental health, not just physical. Said differently, weight loss (or gain) is not just about calorie restricting or what diet you're on. It's about dealing with underlying emotional struggles. Part of how I lost 100 pounds was by working on low self esteem and stinkin thinkin (Al-Anon) 

I thought my biggest issue was (and was medicated for) depression. But that was only a manifestation of the real issue: low self esteem. Beginning in 1997 through 2004, we experienced a series of unfortunate events. I had major pregnancy complications with our fourth child, lost two stillborn infants, moved into a house that required huge and unexpected repairs (think all broken windows, a collapsed ceiling and burst water pipes). 

We'd sold our mobile home for cents on the dollar to get into this house which we'd allowed the current tenant to live in till her Habitat for Humanity home was ready. Five months later and multiple queries as to when we could move in (met with "her home isn't ready yet") we discovered she'd vamoosed--leaving unpaid bills, damaged electrical and water pipes, collapsed ceiling, burst toilet, broken windows and a dead snake out back(!)--almost immediately after we'd first seen the home. The landlord, our church, BTW, didn't bother to check up because she was living rent-free. She got her nicely move-in ready Habitat for Humanity home while we were stuck with the mess she'd left behind. 

When we saw the house in November, we noted what would need to be done. And there was plenty then. Needless to say, sitting vacant five months left the house in condemned-notice condition. It was actually us who discovered the tenant had split. We drove by one night in March, saw the doors hanging open and everything a mess. 

We alerted the sellers who basically said we were stuck because we agreed to buy it ("remember what a good deal we gave you??") And we were also desperate being now homeless. We had undersold the mobile home for $3,500 (valued at $12,000) because the mobile home market was low and because we didn't want to LET THE SELLERS DOWN when they were finally ready to sell. 

Everything needed fixing. We had to fix it alone with no help from seller which drained our bank account. Husband was juggling two jobs in different cities. Oh, and we still paid the full asking price of the house, no discount for damages. 

Yes, we should have pulled out or at least demanded that things be restored to the condition we'd originally seen it in. Yes we should have insisted they find us accommodations till said repairs had been done. No I shouldn't have tried get the house livable with just my four kids to help. No my  husband shouldn't have had to work on the house after work, just to get it habitable. No, we shouldn't have been so nice and should have been thorns in various backsides. 

But that brings me back to the original point of this blog post: low self esteem. Both my husband and I struggle with it. Why did we allow ourselves to be so taken advantage of? Because we figured that this shambles was good enough for who it was for. And did the sellers chime in with the guilt: we should be grateful that we were getting "such a good deal." We weren't, they were and they knew it. They'd neglected the house, not monitored the tenant and now would be lucky if the city didn't make them liable, if we didn't buy it. Under the table mind you. 

So like two muggins, we bought it. Stinkin thinkin told us it was the best we deserved. Operative word: we (he and I). We knew our kids deserved MUCH better and we wanted, but failed to get it for them. That caused massive anxiety and guilt. Which drove self esteem even lower. Queue the depression, misery and yes even fights (you tend to take out frustrations with those you feel you owe gratitude for hurting you, on those you love). Weird. Vicious cycle. 

Part of how I lost 100 pounds was to get at why I thought so little of  myself. There is a book series in that answer. And maybe I'll write it someday. Suffice, for this blog post, to say that learning to recognize that I was a beloved child of my Heavenly Father (thank you, Fr. Chuck), who wants the best for me, not just good enough for who it's for, helped a lot. So did giving myself permission to express needs, wants, dissatisfaction and frustrations. To say no to manipulative, exploitative situations. To practice self-care. 

A part of my old stinkin thinkin narrative says I should make disclaimers and defend toxic behavior. The monkey on my back worries that you readers may think I'm dramatizing, attention-seeking or just an idiot. Low self-esteem talks like that. Lots of auto blame-shame. I'm also tempted to defend the house sellers, saying they meant well, didn't realize the extent of the damage, yada yada. But I'm not going to. It should have been handled differently and we were treated badly. We are still dealing with negative repercussions.  

So we got screwed over. However, the real responsibility is down to us, to change this stinkin thinkin. We realize, in retrospect, that we are just too nice, or just pushovers. We've been stung multiple times, and should have spoken up about. We are learning together how to advocate for ourselves and not to let ourselves get taken advantage of in future. Because we don't deserve it no matter what you say, skinkin thinkin. 

This post may seem far afield for a blog about weight loss. However, concepts like low self-esteem are actually a large part of how we get overweight (or underweight, anorexic, bulimic, etc) in the first place. Many physical problems originate in our heads. Not our imagination, our stinkin thinkin. 

Love to you all and stay tuned for more. 

Mama June Shannon is happy with 100 lb weight gain after massive weight loss (really??)

 Mama June Shannon, reality TV celeb of "Here comes Honey Boo Boo" says she's happy with a 100 pound weight gain after her big weight loss on "Mama June: From Not to Hot." I'm wondering is she happy or just excusing the return to obesity. And I also question how much more she will gain and still justify it? Since gastric bypass in 2016, June has steadily been regaining pounds lost and always has an excuse. I think this is just another of the myths she, people on "My 600-lb Life" and many of us who struggle with fat, feed ourselves. Busting these myths is part of how I lost 100 pounds. 

Mama June, mum of "Toddlers and Tiaras" star Honey Boo Boo, may actually be or think she is happy being morbidly overweight. The pageant mom rose to fame with her larger than life persona. It's her stock and trade. She might also just be more comfy bigger. But I suspect that's not it. I think people say they like themselves "fat" because they can't (or more often won't) lose weight. This self-delusion I call "fattitude" (Al-Anon calls it stinkin thinkin) crops up in many forms on every episode of "My 600-lb Life". 

Mama June Shannon, the folks on "My 600-lb Life" and many of us who've suffered with obesity try to spin weight gain as something positive. We say we feel better. We cry body positivity and anyone who says otherwise is body shaming. Fattitude (stinkin thinkin) and food addiction drive us to defend overeating and euphemize it away. And fattitude and food addiction are every bit as baffling, cunning and dangerous as drug or alcohol dependency. 

Genuine long-term, sustained weight loss is a shit-ton of work.  It's boring to count calories, follow a 1200-calorie diet, or keto diet or intermittent fasting (5:2 diet) or some other method of calorie restricting. It's easier and much more fun to eat like there's no tomorrow and make excuses about how we "can't lose weight", "nothing works", "you don't need calorie restricting, intermittent fasting, 1200- calorie diet, (insert diet name) to lose weight. (Truth is, we can, it does and we do). 

Fattitude or stinkin thinking is also why gastric bypass is becoming so popular. It seems, when you are morbidly obese, that bariatric surgery only solution. Or (and this worries me most) that bariatric surgery or gastric bypass are seen some kind of magic carpet ride to skinny. You don't have to change anything and poof, weight loss! Oh so wrong. "My 600-lb Life" Dr. Now makes patients follow the 1200-calorie diet BEFORE surgery to get in the  habit afterwards and to lose weight to make bariatric surgery safe enough to try. 

Mama June Shannon, like so many others, defends obesity by saying it's only a little weight gain. Reportedly, she's exploring other types of surgery after having a gastric sleeve. But these are not procedures you can do repeatedly. So, yep, at first, it is only a few pounds. But those few add up and pretty soon you're very overweight, again. And if you've had surgery already you're now out of options, Except that is, for our old friend the 1200-calorie diet (or some other calorie restricting). AKA, back to square one. 

I stumbled on that super slippery slope too after I lost 100 pounds. I began packing on the weight after shoulder surgery. I was damned if I was gonna regain all that fat, so I started calorie restricting again. And Poof, this really did work. It's the bike you can always pick and get back on. It doesn't let you down. 

So all the best to anyone who trying to lose weight (or gain weight, or find a healthy weight--actually this blog is about finding that happy AND healthy place). You may actually find you feel better with a little more weight. There's wiggle room. But that's like 10-15 pounds, not 80 to 100. And I guarantee you that if you are willing to work the program, you can achieve your goals. And it feels much better than making excuses or justifying unhealthy choices. 

Stay tuned for more on how I lost 100 pounds. 

Mama June's Covid weight gain excuse echoes "My 600-lb Life" obesity myths

In this blog, I explore how I lost 100 pounds. I also look at celebrity weight loss particularly on reality TV shows like "My 600-lb Life" and "Mama June: From Not to Hot." June Shannon, the "Toddlers and Tiaras" mum of pageant star Honey Boo Boo debuted her 300-lb weight loss, after gastric bypass, a few years ago. I've always had my doubts about Mama June Shannon's weight loss. Here's why. 

So many lies: June Shannon struggled with (actually I should say celebrated) morbid obesity, through "Toddlers and Tiaras or "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo." Then a new reality TV show "Mama June: From Not to Hot" promised a big makeover. Shannon falsely claimed to lose weight on her own, without gastric bypass or plastic surgery. And though she achieved undeniable weight loss, her claim to lose 300 pounds and get down to size 4 and 134 pounds was a bit much to believe. So she fudged numbers? She's still a lot less overweight, no big deal, right?  Unfortunately, it demonstrates some very "My 600-lb Life" type behavior.  

Obesity mindset (or what I call "fattitude.") Gastric bypass patients on "My 600-lb Life" exhibit Al-Anon pattern "stinkin thinkin" (blaming others, making excuses, lying about following the 1200 calorie diet, denying how overweight they are). Fattitude makes and keeps us overweight. Stinkin thinkin blames everyone else for obesity. It lies and says that we don't need to practice calorie restricting with gastric bypass. To lose weight and keep it off, we have to clean up stinkin thinkin and eating habits. Mama June never did. Now Honey Boo Boo is following suit. 

Minimizing and more lies. After a 300-lb weight loss, Mama June said in June (see FB photo above) that she gained "a tiny little" back, "only" 60 pounds. That's on top of some regained (she said 20, doctor said 50) shortly after surgery. So a little after big weight loss is normal. I lost 100 pounds by calorie restricting. I gained back 12 pounds and got right back on the 1200 calorie diet. "Mama June: Road to Redemption" and even back on "From Not to Hot" showed her eating junk food and not calorie restricting. 

Weird weight gain excuse. What really blew my mind was June Shannon's reason for gaining 60 lbs. She said it was "healthy Covid 19 weight gain" (!) My husband and I had Covid 19 and we lost weight! I dropped 10 pounds in a week and he lost 17. And while Covid 19 weight loss may not be healthy, gaining, if I'm already overweight, surely isn't. This sounds a lot like "My 600-lb Life" excuse that obesity is just "water weight." 😲😣

Getting out of denial, taking a reality check and quitting excuse-making were as important to how I lost 100 pounds as the 1200 calorie diet. 

How I lost 100 pounds with a gratitude adjustment diet and failed weight loss with fattitude!

Hello my darlins! Just mar sharing more ideas on how to lose weight. Today, we look at the good, bad and beautiful of weight loss, specifically how I lost 100 pounds with the gratitude adjustment diet and failed with fattitude. 

Fattitude is what I call the obesity mindset. It's what Al-Anon means by stinkin thinkin, only related to food addiction and body image. Fattitude is supersize combo of self-pity, low self-esteem, selfishness, no self-awareness and self-help fail. That's a lot self. And this stinkin thinkin is a direct spiral to obesity and a roadblock to lose weight. 

Many of you didn't know me when I was very overweight. I was careful to keep most of my stinkin thinkin hidden. So if you need to see what plus-size fattitude looks like, watch the gastric bypass patients on "My 600-lb Life." In-denial patients whinge, make excuses and play the blame-shame game. 

I don't say this to shame "My 600-lb Life" patients. I appreciate their candor about obesity. Say what you will about the behavior on "My 600-lb Life", I doubt many of us would have the chutzpah to share our overweight lifestyle. I wouldn't want you to see my fattitude unmasked, no matter how much it helps. 

And that brings me back to the point of this post, how I lost 100 pounds with the gratitude adjustment diet. I didn't just get an attitude adjustment, I got a gratitude makeover. It was kind of a "mental gastric bypass" in which I cut off negativity and focused on positivity. 

I'll splain. Weight loss involves not just eating less or not eating certain foods. I had to change how I ate. In the same way, to lose weight (and also depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, body image dysmorphia), I had to do more than just stop doing certain things (whining, self-pity, making excuses). I had to start doing other things, like looking for things to be grateful for. And they are all around. 

Here's a fr'instance. My backyard has a lot of weeds. My old overweight fattitude wouldn't let me see past that. But a gratitude adjustment completely changes perspective. I gave thanks for the beautiful patio our youngest son had made. I watered my herbs, in pretty pots my friend made. I admired my husband's handiwork on a new porch. I enjoyed a tomato sandwich with fresh basil from the garden, while watching the woodchuck and squirrel follies. I filled the bird feeder and had a nice conversation with a chickadee who waited patiently for her seed. 

A gratitude adjustment loses mental weight as well as physical. And it feels so much better! 

 

 

Covid 19 exhaustion, vaccine side effects or diet burnout or stalled metabolism (or something else)?

Hi guys checking in to share an update on my bout with Covid 19. Since getting the virus,  I've been unable to shake symptoms of exhaustion, anxiety, agoraphobia and paranoia. I also started dieting again to lose weight gained after shoulder surgery. I'm not sure if it's diet burnout or stalled metabolism (from Covid 19 or too much calorie restricting) or some combination or something else entirely. 

In May, I had three weeks of intense Covid 19 symptoms, including persistent cough, congestion, headache, weight loss, dehydration, nausea, body aches, recurrent fever and diarrhea. I decided to get the two-prong Pfizer vaccine just to be safe and had to wait two weeks. Then there was a 3-week wait period for the second vaccine. It's been about 2.5 weeks since the last one but the exhaustion will not go away. I've tried vitamin B 100 and upping the iron. I can't say I feel a big difference but am going to give it time. 

I also have a weird sensation of agoraphobia and have to force myself to leave the house. Once I'm outside, I'm better, but still tired. I'm usually a very energetic person. Prior to shoulder surgery, I was a Shipt shopper and plan to go back to Shipt when I'm cleared to lift 25 pounds. But I'm dreading going back. I feel paranoia driving and anxiety just being in the store. 

I guess it's not true paranoia as I don't fear people or have suspicious thoughts. I'm just more nervous and worried. I've tried eating more than the 1200 calorie diet, hoping that carb and calorie restricting is causing a metabolism drop and lowered resistance to anxiety, stress, etc. I honestly think metabolism is the key here. But I worry that it's not. (Do you get the vicious cycle going on here?)

As for the agoraphobia, I know I just have to push past it. Once I get back to Shipt, I'm hoping I'll just be too busy to think about it. If that works, I'll know it's not true agoraphobia because it's not managed that easily. So that will be a relief. It's weird too because I had a lot of anxiety with obesity and anxiety in part caused obesity. With weight loss, a lot of depression was healed. I've been able to lose weight and I feel better about that. 

And then there are the voices in my head that tell me I'm just imagining or exaggerating it. But Al-Anon has taught me that this is unhealthy stinkin thinkin.  Then I worry that I'm just lazy. That was anathema, growing up. Work till ya burnout (stinkin thinkin). Give too much. Try to fix everyone's problems (more stinkin thinkin). But God forbid you're lazy. So I became a Type A overachiever and ended up feeling like a failure every time I couldn't go above and beyond. 

In times past, I didn't take my feelings seriously (another link to obesity, believe it or not). I still don't sometimes. I have to stonewall before I realize there's a problem. I don't always trust myself and second-guessed all the time. That led to tons of problems. Al-Anon has also taught me that easy does it. And (I love this Al-Anon slogan) don't just do something, sit there. So I'm going to give myself space to feel what I feel. Just like I would any friend who was experiencing similar things. 

Thanks for walking through this with me. I'm learning that weight loss is about a lot more than calorie restricting or diet! It's about mental health and self-awareness. 

How I lost 100 pounds reversing polarity: lose negativity, lose weight

This blog explores how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass or a weight loss drug. Now while I could talk diet all day long, the bigger piece of the weight loss puzzle is psychology, what I call "mind over platter." For every food conversation there 15 mental health ones that need to be had. Because you can't heal obesity or any physical health problem without looking at the emotional component first. Ain't no gastric bypass can help if ya bypass that step.

Many of us got overweight from what Al-Anon calls stinkin thinkin. Today's anti-stinkin thinkin talk is on magnetic poles (positivity vs. negativity). The show "My 600-lb Life" reveals that many who struggle with obesity are stuck in the negative polarity. Depression can lead to obesity and being overweight is depressing. But changing the polarity can interrupt this dangerous circuit and help with weight loss. 

To lose weight, "My 600-lb Life" get help with gastric bypass but also breaking that stinkin thinkin cycle. I did that too and it was part of how I lost 100 pounds. Like the folks on "My 600-lb Life" I had to root out and address unpleasant issues (some directly linked to how I got overweight), to sort it, as the Brits would say. Not compartmentalize, but sometimes that can help. Some problems, as Al-Anon teaches, I just had to accept would never be any different and move on. 

The trick was to get out of the rut, or habit of negativity.  I had to unstick from backward, downward thinking and cling to forward, upward thoughts to lose weight but also depression and anxiety. Does negativity still haunt me? You bet. It can really pull me down if I let it. So I work at positivity, one day (sometimes moment) at a time thing, as the Al-Anon slogan says. 

There's an old Johnny Mercer song I use as a positivity mantra: "You got to ac-cent-tchu-ate the positive, eliminate the negative, latch on to the affirmative and watch out for Mr. In-Between. You got to spread joy up to the maximum, bring gloom down to the minimum, have faith or pandemonium like to walk in upon the scene!" 

How I lost 100 pounds by losing the blame-shame game

(top is 2001, middle 2011, bottom 2015)

This blog explores how I lost 100 pounds, without gastric bypass surgery or a weight loss drug. But you probably didn't tune in to find out what I didn't do, but rather, what I did to lose weight. Obesity has a lot to do with psychology and so weight loss must involve healing mental health as well as physical. I use Al-Anon teaching for weight loss. Today we're going to look at how I lost 100 pounds losing the blame-shame game. 

While obesity hasn't plagued me all my life, shame, low self-esteem, low self-confidence, (stinkin thinkin as Al-Anon calls them) have. But I never really got overweight till I lost two stillborn daughters. That plunged me not only into depression but also horrific self-blame. But it also brought a lot of self-awareness. 

Depression was an old foe, but I wasn't prepared for the mind-boggling self-esteem plummet. I always felt like a failure but now I couldn't even keep a baby alive?? That was devastating. I got morbidly overweight in part from miscarriages and taking the antidepressant Paxil. But also playing the self-blame-shame game. 

Thanks to my higher power and Al-Anon, I found that being overweight was just the tip of the iceberg.  I needed to fix this unhealthy "stinkin thinkin" to heal obesity. Soul-searching revealed how much I have struggled with feelings of failure. It was so bad that if anyone criticized me, or even hinted that I should do this or that, I automatically complied. I fully believed that I wasn't capable of making decisions on my own, that every problem was my fault, and that every belief or opinion I held was wrong if someone said they were. 

I played the self-blame-shame game so successfully that I actually dream that I fail. Since I was a kid,  my dreams involve situations where I've have screwed up, done something wrong, hurt or failed people. and that people are angry with me. I have no idea what I did but I'm definitely to blame. These dreams are horrifying, terrifying, exhausting and crippling. They get worse the older I get. 

So I said that how I lost 100 pounds was by losing the blame-shame game. But it's not a done deal or once and for all. It's an on-going process. I have to DAILY lose the game, to lose weight, yes, but more importantly to lose feelings of failure and self-defeat and gain self-confidence and self-esteem. 

If you're nodding your head at any of this, please, get help. Run don't walk, to Al-Anon or counseling or some form of self-help or support group. Lose the stinkin thinkin, not just to lose weight, but depression and low self-esteem. Don't wait, like I did. 

How I lost 100 pounds losing fattitude: lose weight nixing "fat think"

I talked earlier about how I lost 100 pounds (without gastric bypass) with fattitude adjustment. Fattitude is what I call "fat think" or the obesity mindset. Al-Anon calls it stinkin thinkin. And boy howdy, can it derail weight loss. To lose weight, I had to identify fattitude problems and readjust "fat think" to mentally healthier. 

First, what exactly is fattitude? It looks a little different for each person. "My 600-lb Life" shows examples. Folks on "My 600-lb Life" seek gastric bypass. Their fattitude involves self-pity, blaming others and making excuses for obesity. Their stinkin thinkin clouds reason.  Despite blatantly ignoring the gastric bypass diet, they fully expect to to lose weight. 

"My 600-lb Life" shows extreme examples of obesity. But you don't have to be that overweight or overweight at all, to have fat think. That's what anorexia, or body image dysmorphia, is all about--stinkin thinkin that sees through distorted glass. 

I had a form of anorexia, or body image dysmorphia, through elementary school to college. I saw myself as fat, even at 108 pounds. I got overweight after losing two babies and taking an antidepressant. But I didn't see it because my anorexia (fattitude) always showed me obese. 

It wasn't easy to readjust body image dysmorphia. Some days I see fat and only fat everywhere. I'm never sure I'm seeing myself accurately or through that carnival funhouse mirror called anorexia. But I know, because Al-Anon tells me so, that it's about progress, not perfection. Even after weight loss, I will still have SOME bulges. But they are minimizing. And best of all, I can see that. 

I don't know if I lost 100 pounds when I began to see progress or weight loss caused me to see progress. What I mean is, did I just fix obesity without fixing my head? I hope the former. Because changing body without changing mind is about as ineffective as gastric bypass without eating habit change. 

How I lost 100 pounds by changing my tune: Mind over Platter weight loss

Greetings my dear friends! In today's episode of "how I lost 100 pounds" (without gastric bypass) we explore the psychology of obesity and weight loss. You may have noticed my plan to lose weight focuses as much on mental/emotional as physical changes. I call the obesity mindset "fattitude" (what Al-Anon calls stinkin thinkin" and the mental resets necessary for weight loss "mind over platter." I've developed many mind over platter concepts from stories of gastric bypass patients on the show "My 600-lb Life."

Many of the overweight people on "My 600-lb Life" are shown making excuses, whining, throwing fits when told to lose weight. It's easy to fault their behavior. But it's important for those trying to lose weight (and maybe everyone) to look in our own backyard, to see where we may be kiboshing our weight loss with fattitude problems.  

I heard myself in some of the "My 600-lb Life" patients, the constant complaining, whining. Maybe not to that extent, but I realized that if I didn't do something different, I could end up at that point. People with morbid obesity are no different than anyone who is overweight. They are not freaks. They are just farther down the path. Getting to that point could happen to anyone and but for the grace of God, go I. 

Part of  how I lost 100 pounds was to examine my own stinkin thinkin (self-pity, blame/shame, resentment, defeat, feeling victimized). I started listening very carefully to the negative, self-defeating songs I was singing, the litanies I was repeating in my head. And then I began to change the tune. The process was very much like the Al-Anon 12 step program.  

This "fattitude" adjustment may seem to have nothing to do with weight loss. In fact, shedding negativity, low self-esteem, lack of self-worth, feeling of helplessness has EVERYTHING to do with it. Before I lost 100 pounds, I was powerless over food. I was extremely overweight and now I'm not. If I just fix the physical without dealing with the mental and emotional, it won't do any good. Just like gastric bypass won't lose weight without habit changes. I'm not sure I could lose weight without healing my mind. 

So it's not perfect and neither am I. But it's progress not perfection as Al-Anon says, one day at a time. 

How I lost 100 pounds with "fattitude" adjustment

Hello welcome to the meeting, lol! Today I'll talk about how I lost 100 pounds with "fattitude" adjustment. No you didn't read that wrong. And you're probably wondering what the heck a "fattitude" is. It's a word I coined to describe my attitude about being fat, prior to weight loss. It's a manifestation of what Al-Anon calls stinkin thinkin. This obesity mindset if you will is part low self-esteem, part body image dysmorphia and part nasty attitude of self-pity that caused me to make excuses for my obesity. 

Low self-esteem is directly attributable to obesity, if you comfort eat to feel better. A constant feeling of failure made me sluggish and exhausted. I hated not just that I was overweight. I hated and was ashamed of myself overall. It shows in pictures of me before and after weight loss. I looked awkward and miserable because I was. This stinkin thinkin almost killed me, but thanks to Al-Anon and my higher power. 

It also led to the body image dysmorphia part of my fattitude, which was kind anorexia and kind of the opposite. It's not only slender people who have anorexia (body image dysmorphia). Overweight people struggle to see themselves clearly. I had always seen myself as fat. But I also didn't recognize my own obesity and waited a long time to lose weight. 

Before I lost 100 pounds, clearly, I had some stinkin thinkin. Even after weight loss, I still have some issues with anorexia. I'm often afraid to eat because I'm terrified of going back to overweight. I continue to work to lose weight, but also the fattitude. I keep on keeping on as Al-Anon says. 

Weight loss drug and "My 600-lb Life" show stinkin thinkin about obesity

You may have read that the FDA approved a new weight loss drug, one of the pharmaceutical appetite suppressants called Wegovy. USA Today shared how one trial user was able to lose weight on these diet pills. Her frankly disturbing comments echo "My 600-lb Life" participants and show "stinkin thinkin" (thank you Al-Anon) about obesity. 

The Wegovy weight loss drug user said it's unrealistic to expect someone with chronic obesity to lose weight on "this or that diet." She said she's tried many diets and realized weight loss wasn't about willpower and that she had "something physical" that made her unable to lose weight. Very overweight gastric bypass patients on "My 600-lb Life" exhibit the same stinkin thinkin. What's stinkin thinkin? That's the Al-Anon term for disordered, self-destructive thought patterns. 

There's 3-prong stinkin thinkin going on here. First, the fatalistic notion that obesity is a genetic condition that requires diet pills. Obesity is nothing more than being very overweight. Unlike Prader-Willi Syndrome (a condition that causes people to feel constant hunger) obesity is not a disease of its own, only in that it leads to diseases like diabetes. Obesity doesn't cause you to overeat; you get obese by overeating. 

 "My 600-lb Life" participants often trot out Prader-Willi Syndrome to justify their failure to control eating. First, Prader-Willi is extremely rare. Dr. Now is always quick to set gastric bypass patients straight. It's not that they can't curb hunger, it's that they won't control eating. Also, even if you have Prader-Willi, appetite suppressants alone won't curb hunger. You have to learn new behaviors. 

Which leads to stinkin thinkin prong 2: The "special exemptions" claim to be unable to lose weight no matter what or how hard they try. I lost 100 pounds on a 1200 calorie diet. There is some meal plan that will work and if it doesn't it's the dieter's fault, not the diet. Which leads to stinkin thinkin prong 3, that obesity is inherited. 

"Fat families" doesn't mean people are predisposed to obesity. Generational obesity is down to nurture, not nature. "My 600-lb Life" shows overweight people in family settings and how they eat (terribly, too much, junk and fast food, etc.). It also shows how quickly they lose weight without any magic weight loss drug, on Dr. Now's gastric bypass 1200 calorie diet. 

Which disproves the Wegovy user's comment that willpower and self-control aren't involved. One more time for the people in the back: weight loss is ALL about learning self-control. A diet pill may help you curb hunger and lose weight but it won't help you keep pounds off. Lasting weight loss requires changing stinkin thinkin, eating habits and destructive patterns. 

I realize that all this sounds a little Draconian. I wish there was an easier way to beat obesity, but maybe it's for the best. At the bottom of food addiction (Al-Anon says with any addiction) are mental health issues which shortcuts won't address. So I'll end with the good news: I'm not the most put-together person and I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass or prescribed appetite suppressants. You can too! 

How I lost 100 pounds without weight loss drugs: Mind over Platter tips to curb hunger

I just wrote a blog post on the newly FDA-approved weight loss drug, Wegovy. It's a chemical appetite suppressant used to treat obesity. This blog is devoted to sharing how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass or diet pills. I'm concerned that chemical weight loss drugs curb hunger but at what health cost? The "My 600-lb Life" reality TV show hears the many excuses folks make to avoid following the 1200 calorie diet. I'm predicting that Wegovy will be used as just another diet cheat. But happily, you can lose weight without them. 

We don't need "My 600-lb Life" to prove that obesity is a huge problem. Just look around. I looked in the mirror and didn't like how overweight I was. Here's how lost 100 pounds, 10 BMI points and 9 dress sizes. I curb hunger without weight loss drugs with natural plant-based appetite suppressants and fat burners (raspberry ketones, green tea, garcinia cambogia and cinnamon). 

But most of my weight loss was down to learning self-control and exercising willpower. I use what I call "mind over platter" or Jedi mind tricks. (LOL). These emotional (spiritual) health resets help me not only curb hunger but also stinkin thinkin (thank you Al-Anon). 

"My 600-lb Life" proves patients need more than just gastric bypass. They struggle as much with the emotional as the physical struggle of being overweight. They confuse wanting food with needing it. Part of how I lost 100 pounds was to sort out my relationship with food. Hunger and cravings were constant. Along with the weight loss supplements, my "mind over platter" tricks help me psych myself full and curb hunger. Here are my psychological appetite suppressants. 

Get used to feeling a little hungry all the time. The truth is there's no magic bean that will completely curb hunger plus make you lose weight. Green tea helps--caffeine products are good appetite suppressants but they can also increase hunger so use with caution. 

Use any appetite suppressants with not instead of portion control. Weight loss drugs and diet pills like Wegovy don't teach new eating habits like a 1200 calorie diet does.  

Think of hunger as an ally instead of enemy. When you feel hungry, use it as an alarm clock. Perhaps you're working too hard and need a break. Get some fresh air to take your mind off food cravings. Maybe you really do need to eat. Starving yourself doesn't make you lose weight. Food deprivation borks your metabolism and can make you gain weight. Maybe you're just thirsty (the body confuses hunger and thirst). 

Mind over platter or, what's really the matter?  Are you lonely and "hungry" for companionship, love, human interaction or a hug. Bypass the comfort food (junk food) which doesn't satisfy for time with loved ones. It's not as simple as finding foods to fill you up. You have to change how you think about yourself, what you eat, how you eat and what role food fills in your life.

Mind over platter: cravings too shall pass. I was very overweight (clearly if I lost 100 pounds). And I promise you, don't despair. In early obesity, you may think you'll never get full on the 1200 calorie diet. But you will as your stomach shrinks with weight loss.  

Lose weight by learning to be satisfied with less. Redefine "feeling full."  Don't eat till you are full, or beyond, just satisfied. Weight loss happens when you stop eating when you are still a little hungry. Plus you'll feel fuller if you let your food settle instead of diving right into that second (third, 26th) helping. 

Curb hunger by appreciating what you have. When you feel hungry, consider the many who know real starvation. Keep their photos on the fridge and offer up your hunger for them. Send money you saved eating less, to missions. 

Put food in its proper place as nourishment, not solace, a friend or lover. No gastric bypass or weight loss drug or diet pill can replace this "mind over platter" trick. Practice portion control Talk yourself out of eating junk, rather than convincing yourself you deserve it. Rethink treats. Junk food is no treat if it makes you overweight, sick and tired.

Fill up your fun tank to fight obesity. Do something active, not passive (texting, video games or watching TV). You get hungrier staring at a screen and it's easier to mindlessly eat. Get outside, Garden. Volunteer, Walk the dog, kids and husband. Do housework. Make crafts with the children. Go out with friends for coffee. Romp with the kids in a pile of leaves. Take a nap or start a project. Run a tub of hot water and read. 

These are awesomely therapeutic psychological appetite suppressants lick diet pills any day!  

How I lost 100 pounds nixing stinkin thinkin: Al-Anon tips for weight loss

Hey friends! A few days ago I promised that I'd discuss how I lost 100 with Al-Anon 12-step tips. Today I'm going to explain how nixing "stinkin thinkin" helped me lose weight. What is stinkin thinkin? It's a term Al-Anon (and AA or Alcoholic Anonymous) uses to describe unhealthy, self-defeating, dysfunctional mind games addicts and those who are codependent on them play. You can see a lot of stinkin thinkin in those seeking gastric bypass surgery in TLC's reality TV show "My 600-lb Life." So how is Al-Anon related to weight loss? 

Obesity stems from food addiction or codependent behaviors that make us comfort eat.  Or both. These are not the only obesity triggers but they are common ones, as participants on "My 600-lb Life" have shown. And they stem from wrong-headed stinkin thinkin. Al-Anon outlines the usual suspects: lack of self-awareness, self-pity (biggee) hypocrisy, delusional thinking, excuse-making, denial and low self-esteem. Pretty depressing but the good news is that identifying which stinkin thinkin head games I was playing is how I lost 100 pounds. My weight loss was as much about healing my head as my body. 

My stinkin thinkin was mostly lack of self-awareness about needing to lose weight, denial and low self-esteem. I also played a dangerous game of comparison/contrast in which I downplayed my need to lose weight, mentally pointing to others who were more obese. I've heard that excuse on "My 600-lb Life." The whole family is morbidly obese but they scapegoat one member who is larger. It took a doctor recommending gastric bypass weight loss surgery to wake up. Then, when I was told I looked just like a relative who was morbidly obese, I finally acknowledged my own obesity. And that awareness was how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass!! 

That's just one of the stinkin thinkin mind games I've played (more later) but happily, it's game over for me!

How I lost 100 pounds by failing weight loss (seriously!)

Can you tell that I love writing quixotic blog titles? How I lost 100 pounds by failing, honestly, mar. Why don't you just promise weight loss by eating pasta? (I actually can! More later) And you can also lose weight by failing your diet occasionally. Here's how. 

I promised you in my last post that I would tell you how I lost 100 pounds despite taking diet breaks. So, this will come as no surprise, but I'm not perfect. I'm kinda lazy. It took me so long to wake up to my obesity, because I made excuses. When I finally did get out of denial, I learned a lot about weight loss. 

One really important thing is that you should take breaks from diet so you don't get burned out. This is especially important if, like me, your obesity is far advanced. Also if you've been working at weight loss for awhile, it's easy to plateau. 

As weird as it sounds, actually falling off the wagon can be of great help in weight loss, if you learn from it. What tripped you up? Was it "stinkin thinkin" as Al-Anon calls it? (more on that later). Are you making excuses, feeling sorry for yourself or comparing ? What triggered overeating? Depression, grief, pain, loneliness? Are you not eating enough and hungry all the time? (more on that later too).

I guess what I'm saying basically echoes Socrates: know thyself. Get to know what makes you tick and stop ticking. Getting to know myself was how I lost 100 pounds!