Hello my friends. Today I'm working to heal childhood trauma from narcissistic parent abuse by sharing what it's like to live with arrogant, entitled, remorseless, manipulative people. I can't take you back in time, but I can give examples of narcissistic parents in the media who behave like mine did. Not actor portrayals, actual parents like some of the social media "momfluencers" and reality TV stars Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar. It probably didn't take the "Shiny Happy People" docu for most people to see that the Duggars are very narcissistic, despite Michelle Duggar's famed modesty.
The celebrity narcissist parent cult
I'm not saying that every parent who has a YouTube channel or vlog is arrogant. But it's kind of hard to find examples who aren't. As well as social media "momfluencers" You could almost say it's a job description for celebrity parents. It comes with the territory. Just the term social media "influencer" or reality TV star screams vanity. You have to have pretty cast iron self-esteem to believe people should listen to or watch you. Or that you even say things worth hearing. I'm not talking here about specific niche parenting influencers My daughter is a lactation/postpartum consultant who specializes in nutrition for moms. I mean the ones who just riff about whatever they feel like and call it educational.
Narcissist parents exploit kids
You could say that simply putting your child online is child exploitation and you'll get no argument from me. You could say that anyone who shares their every family moment on social media is a narcissist. Still no argument. The fact that the Duggar family has forced their kids into a reality TV show proves their arrogance to me Narcissists exploit anything and anyone that gets them what they crave: pity, attention, status, narcissistic supply.
Narcissistic parents exploit their kids suffering
But then there's another level: the exploitative narcissistic parents who exploit their children's suffering for narcissistic supply. The Duggar family is now in it's second generation exploiting kids with Josh Duggar and Joe Duggar. They've put their families through hell that they will never live down, just like Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar put their children through hell that led them to these actions. And the older siblings (except maybe Jana Duggar) are milking the family drama to build their own celebrity status. The whole family makes sure to keep their irrelevant faces in the media.
Narcissistic parents monetize tragedy
I'm thinking of social media influencer Kelly Hopton-Jones who ran her child over and then monetized it in a social media post. What highlights the narcissism isn't the accident. It wasn't the fact that she is a self-styled "momfluencer" although the irony isn't lost. And a valid question has been asked whether she wasn't paying attention because she was posting at the time of the accident. The self-centeredness is shown by the fact that she leveraged of it for attention, pity and funds. The post she wrote was all about her. And the cherry on top was another momfluencer Emilie Kiser, whose child had drowned, chiming in with what she called sympathy. But what looked very much like turning the camera back on herself. So cashing in on a parent cashing in on her child's injury.
The "celebrity" addiction
I'm not talking about the addiction we have to following celebrities. I mean the outrageous things people will do to become "celebrities." Including harming your children. I'm not suggesting either Kelly Hopton-Jones or Emilie Kiser did anything intentional. But I'm sure I'm not the only one who'd never heard of either of them until their kids were hurt/killed. And I'm also not saying either of them weren't sad or vulnerable at the time they made the post about it. It's the timing. And the "me, me, me" ness of the post. Quite frankly, it reads like someone who's trying to convince themselves and us they feel guilty. It reads like she is more concerned about how she is perceived than what she actually did. And the subtle yet unmistakable gaslighting. Which is exactly how a narcissist parent operates.
The gaslighting DARVO tactic
The Duggars play this one to perfection! They DARVO (deny responsibility, accuse and attack, reverse victim and offender). It's the "liberal media's" fault their son molested children. With Hopton-Jones, the gaslighting DARVO is little harder to spot. And it may be a shock or trauma response. She keeps referring to her hitting her son as an accident/mistake. That's the gaslighty part. The fact is that neither parent was paying attention to the child or to the car warning system show and that she apparently didn't even look in the mirror, is more careless than mistake. She keeps saying how if only "things had gone differently." As if this was out of her control. She describes how she feels guilty but shouldn't. Well, that is sort of what you do. You are supposed to feel guilty. It reads more like self-defense than confession.
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