Hello my friends. Today I'm looking at how dark tetrad (arrogant, self-centered, manipulative cruel) parents steal and destroy every good thing their child possesses. I've written about this before and I'm going to need to write about it again, many times as I remember more things they ruined for me. Here's a list of things which most children had and which were taken from me by my parents. These are in no particular order.
Toys. Things would be given to me and then disappear never to return. Or my parents would get me something and then take it back. I think now that they only did this for show, to make it look like they were caring for me. But they weren't. I think, though I can never prove, that most of my things were sold to fund their new families.
Childhood. I read a quote, I think it was from Patrick Teahan something to the effect that children who are forced to spend too much time in their parents' adult world never get to be children. Oh how heartbreakingly true that is. Dark tetrad parents abandon and neglect their parental duties, make their children responsible for them like mini adults and rob them of their right to be a kid.
Personhood. Dark tetrad parents quite literally pirate the child's self. They shatter any boundaries she might form. They enmesh themselves with their child in creepy ways. They feed parasitically off their child. She has no life, identity or autonomy outside the Mothership. Who then cuts her adrift so she and floats in space like Major Tom bewildered, lost and alone.
Privacy. Dark tetrads make it clear in every aspect of the child's life, that she is sub human and not entitled to things normal humans have. Like personal space. They take everything and then arrogantly make the child feel in the way for needing the least little thing. All my life I've been ashamed of my singing voice (which is actually somewhat pretty) because I was singing in the bathroom and my dad told me I was showing off. When I told my son this story he asked "what was your dad doing in the bathroom with you." Good point.
Sexual identity or confidence. Dark tetrads are debauched and morally bankrupt. They think, say and do sexually off things. A lot of it is flat out abusive. Then they accuse their child of doing these things. WHEN SHE IS JUST A CHILD! She believes she is dirty when she doesn't even know or want to know anything about such things yet. Dark tetrad parents implant sick and weird ideas in the child's head that haunt her for the rest of her life. Her entire experience with intimacy is poisoned by their sickness. My mother described her adulterous affairs in detail. She paraded around naked and made sure to highlight her voluptuousness compared to my young unformed body. My dad at 35, took me (9) on dates with his 17-year-old girlfriend.
Medical care. Dark tetrad parents insure that their child will be crippled for life by physical injury and illness that they could have easily been treated in childhood. My back, hips and neck are permanently twisted by early onset arthritis from doing far too much manual labor and waiting on my parents. My dad who had good insurance never took me to the doctor. When I was sick for months on end, he illegally took a mono test kit from the hospital where he worked to save himself the money. My stepmother had expensive bariatric surgery. My mother ignored illnesses and injuries until they were out of control. I lived on penicillin for several years until my grandparents finally asked why the hell Marilisa always had a sore throat. And I finally got surgery. By that time, my tonsils were rotten with infection and recovery was so severe I lost 15 pounds. None of them were the least bit concerned or helped me thru it. My friend had to tell my mother that I wasn't eating.
Place. Dark tetrad parents don't provide adequate space or resources for the child. She exists on the fringes like a homeless person. They foist themselves on their child in unhealthy ways. They're always yelling at her for being in the way. They give her bedroom to their brother and his girlfriend so they can play house. They make her sleep in over-crowded rooms with their babies so they can have their privacy.
A mind of our own. We are not free from our possessive control freak dark tetrad parents even in our own heads. We don't own our own feelings, thoughts, needs, ideas or dreams. They do. They arrogantly tell us what we think even when it's nothing like that. They malign our character and assassinate our intentions. They accuse us of having sinful and wicked motives. According to them, we're always showing off, bragging or "fishing for compliments." They insult and belittle our achievements. They make themselves the center of attention to steal any limelight we might be in. They invade and colonize our brains with disturbing, painful, twisted lies. We believe them because they've groomed us from infancy to do so. And they are so loudly convincing.
The world sees us as just normal kids because no one looks in on our living situation. They don't realize that the house we are staying in isn't ours. It's our workplace not our home. And because our parents are good at hiding the bruises they inflict. So people just expect that we can function like those who have resources and tools. We spend the rest of our lives trying to figure out how the hell we're supposed to do that. And we actually do a pretty good job given all we lack. But we never feel good about it because that was robbed from us too.
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