Okay so part two of my rant against dark tetrad parents who divorce and remarry. There are so many ways they lie, cheat, distort, twist and gaslight about what the Bible has to say about divorce, remarriage and stepparents. They do this to God and to their kids. But God will not be mocked, so beware dark tetrads.
I've been looking up on Google to see what supposedly Christian people are saying about divorce, parents and stepparents. And wow, there's a lot of nonsense. So much is said about how kids are called to respect their parents and how that includes stepparents. How a kid should be obedient to everyone including anyone who is parent (or just live-in boyfriend or girlfriend) de jour. Maybe I'm just jaded by all I went through at the hands of my parents and their spouses, but I can't be the only one who sees the problems here.
For one thing, I also can't be the only one whose step-parents were abusive, neglectful, exploitative and nasty. People who are allowed and encouraged by the child's parent to abuse them?? I know I'm not. Why then would anyone put even more pressure on a kid to obey these awful people? And pardon me, but the Bible does not sanction this because the Bible (Jesus, God) doesn't sanction DIVORCE in the first place!! Oh you'll hear about how that was then and this is now. How God is actually approving of divorce and remarriage.
That's just lying gaslighting hogwash made up by people looking to defend their sins as being godly. You'll read from these people how God doesn't address step-parents because, well they can't give a good reason. But I can. He doesn't address them because He doesn't go for divorce or remarriage! End of. It's not part of his plan. And yet these self-centered people would have you believe it's fine and dandy with Him.
My conservative, evangelical, rightwing nut, Bible beater parents were all over this. For themselves. For others it was sinful. They tried to gaslight away adultery, abandonment of me, fornication, living in sin (as it was called then), divorce, remarriage. It's okay, we weren't meant for each other, God understands and forgives. yada yada. We can hook up with new people and start all over fresh. Which included excluding me except to do the heavy lifting.
Which of course he does forgive people divorcing who are sorry but he can't in the case of those who make excuses for themselves because they aren't sorry or repentant. They just want vindication. And they prove that by the way they glibly dump it on their child and offer her no help. They shame her for crying and tell her she's lucky, it could be worse?? And then foist new people on her and bullshit her that God expects her to obey, serve, kowtow to these people who they are letting hurt and abuse her. Directly contradicting a number of God's laws.
But the Bible doesn't stutter. God categorically does not approve divorce. He doesn't give exemptions. Though we now allow it for cruelty. He does allow remarriage after adultery but this person must care for your children and help raise them. That's not explicit but certainly implied. Though that part gets overlooked. Dark tetrads are much more interested in what others (kids) are expected to do for them than in what they are expected to do for kids.
And the new spouse is certainly not supposed to hurt the children. And it's not okay with God for the parent to exploit or neglect the child by the new marriage. Whatever you do to the least of his brethren you do to God. So if you enslave, exploit, harm, harass, bully one of his, you do all that to Him.
If you marry again, while your first spouse lives, you're disobeying God. (John the Baptist). And please, let's not call it remarriage or second marriage. There was only one. You broke it up. If you bring more kids into it, heaven help you. And that's if you're good and kind to all the children (which is unfortunately not common). What is common is favoritism of the second marriage kids and neglect of the first. Under no circumstances may you marry again, have more children and shut out your first child. You may not set up a little house of cards fantasy where this is your real family in which the OG kid is an interloper. If anyone is the interloper it's the new people. Just saying.
And then there's this bullshit game they play where they set up all these expectations God supposedly has for the child of their first marriage. They're always on about honoring them (as parents) but they don't live it. They don't honor their own parents. They just demand. They also don't respect their children. They use and exploit them. Dark tetrads also forget the part about not angering your children nor being a millstone around her neck. Like by forcing new people on her as masters whom she must serve. By not helping her adjust. By just demanding more and more.
They also define "respect" and "honor" unBiblically. They twist honor, respect and obey into bow and scrape, be subservient, worship, allow me to hurt you, turn a blind eye to my sinful ways, obey my new spouse like he's God. The "Stepparent Scam" is one of the biggest in history. They will spin it like these are your new parents but they aren't. And the Bible backs me up on this. Just because they drag some new person into your life does NOT make them your parent, let alone your boss. You have two only. You don't OWE your parents anything and certainly not their new spouses, especially if they are arrogant, hateful, vicious and nasty like mine were.
Whew, I'm exhausted.
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