Hello friends. Warning, this is post is going to go to some super creepy places. (Like any of your others don't, you're thinking? Right?) Well this one is the deluxe with nuts and whipped topping. Today we're exploring ways dark tetrad parents enmesh with their scapegoat kids, then pirate their beings and feed off from them, like parasites. Frankly, it might even sound paranoid or made up. All I can say is, I wish. No child should ever have to live with such abuse and exploitation.
In the last post, I described dark tetrads from a seven deadly sins perspective. And how they'll break any and all rules, stomp on everyone and twist everything to fit their purpose. But they never do achieve that purpose because they're never satisfied. Today we're exploring how a dark tetrad's children are raw meat to their lust for control and power. They exploit them to feed this endless gaping maw.
So let's begin with the exploitation piece of the dark tetrad. Unlike grandiose narcissism, the dark tetrad is a malignant narcissist (spiteful, entitled, arrogant, malicious), plus psychopathic (remorseless and combative) plus sadistic (gleefully cruel, needlessly hurtful) and finally Machiavellian or manipulative and exploitative. That's one damn deluxe sundae for sure. And as parents, they are hellish nightmares to live with. Because children are vulnerable and can't take care of themselves. They are dependent on these exploitative people. Frankly, we'd have been better off being raised by vipers.
Because I don't just mean they exploit in the sense of making full use of, although that is part of it. I'm not talking about going to a buffet and eating as much as you want because you've paid for it. No, the dark tetrad eats all she wants plus her child's portion. She takes from her child's plate and makes the child watch her eat while going hungry and then makes the child pay for it. She's happiER when she's stealing from someone else. But she's never really happy.
Because (and I kind of alluded to this yesterday) the dark tetrad's unbridled arrogance leads to unbridled greed. Her exalted status entitles her to unlimited privileges, as far as the eye can see. And she can see a lot. She wants it all. Not her portion, oh no. She wants it ALL. Mine, mine, mine and also mine. What's mine is mine and what's yours is also mine. She wants her cake and to eat it too. Also your cake. And his. And the neighbor's cat's cake.
She makes a glutton of herself trying to eat it all before anyone else can. And still she won't stop. She's too far gone down the rabbit hole. She doesn't just want what others have, she wants them. She wants to be them, plus herself. Because her self is so big and greedy that it takes multiple people (or should I say drones) to support this mammoth queen bee. She gobbles up all the attention, energy, light, resources, one way or another. Often times doing very weird, cringy things that humiliate her family.
You can't go for a simple walk with her. She requires an entourage, a bloody motorcade. You must be ever vigilant to meet her every whim. You must hold her hand and worry over her because "I'll just walk out into traffic" she says. No pressure there. You can't walk too far because she tires and then whines you "let her walk too far." Or she gets a tummyache from eating onions then blames you when told her clearly which dishes had onions. You even labeled the damn things.
She "wanders off" (hides) so people have to get all up in arms looking for her. She lies and tells people she "hasn't eaten" so they'll feel sorry for her. As if it's her child's fault she didn't have breakfast? The child whom she consistently neglected to care for all the child's life. She wears nightgowns in public to garner sympathy. She piteously feigns disability. She can't hear, walk or even think without help. Yet she gets around just fine, bosses nearest and dearest, pouts and calls the shots when outsiders aren't watching.
Children of dark tetrads must never question. Oh, she gets mad if you do. We're ever the fall girls. She sucks up our light and pretends it's hers. We can't have success around her because she'll get jealous and sabotage it. She will make fools of us and sit back and laugh. (She's actually making a fool of herself of course, but we're so blindsided by her shocking treatment of us that we get stuck in it). She enmeshes herself in us so we have no self or identity beyond her.
We're nothing more than broken cigarette machines, giving out freely whatever she demands, whenever she pushes our buttons. If she needs us to shine, we shine but only as reflections of her. Not too brightly or with our own light. Mustn't outshine mummy. More often she needs us to be her cat's paw. She does stupid, ridiculous, impulsive, immoral, unethical, hurtful things and we take responsibility and consequences. She gets the sweetie and we get burned. We pay for her damages.
And we let her because it's all we know. And, somehow, we have this convoluted idea that if we let her get away with all this shit, she'll love us. And that mommy needs us. We exist to fill her needs. After all, we're her child. But that's only a one-way street. She is never our mother. She does not give, even a modicum of what normal moms give their kids. We get nothing from her. And we give all.
Because while the dark tetrad has a plus-sized greed, she has a malnourished conscience. For all she steals, expects, cheats us out of, she gives us that much less. She literally subtracts from us to add to herself. You cannot steal someone else's being without diminishing them. And of course, that was her plan all along. Usurp. Take over. Detract from. Children of dark tetrads live like we're only skeletal shells of people. We've had the meat stripped from our bones. We've been deprived and denied selves. We've poured from empty cups for so long there's nothing but cobwebs.
We're broken, battered and barmy. And still she takes. Even when there's nothing left to steal. Old Mother Hubbard still goes to the damn cupboard. She doesn't care what we have to endure to get her what she wants. And as I said even when she gets it she's not satisfied. She has to extract a little bit more suffering from us by way of self-pity, shame or punishment. She breaks, destroys or "loses" things we give her. And then stands there with her hand out for more. Which she will also break or lose. She sells us her junk car, charging many times its value. And then cries "but family" when expecting to be given freely our better car.
She takes our bed, pillow, money, labor, toys, clothing, food, home and gives it to her preferred people. She leaves us skint. And then just wastes it and comes back demanding more. The only thing that can start to save this sorry state of affairs is if the cupboard slams its doors on Old Mother Hubbard's greedy paws whilst in the cookie jar. The only thing she understands is a loud, stentorian, repeated NOOO followed by hurt fingers. Even then she keeps trying. You have to do a lot of slamming to make your point.
Because as she sees it, she's not stealing, she's taking what she's owed. For some kind mythical "care" she says she provided the child but neglected to tell the child there would be a charge for. And which she never did provide. As you do. And really, the child is just a possession and/or extension of her anyway, no different than a vehicle or a shadow. So she's entitled to it all. Entitlement in all its ugly connotations, being the operative word.
And you might be wondering, have you finished yet? Alas, no. I wish. I could go on and on ad nauseum with examples of identity theft, manipulation, exploitation and pirating. These are just a few.
