Hello my friends. A few weeks ago I promised that I would share an essential tool needed for healing CPTSD from sociopathic narcissist parent abuse. Today I'm keeping that promise. This one thing is, I believe, a gift from God. But a gift that it may take years or decades to open or understand. It may even take that long to receive the gift. But once opened and seen, so much falls into place, bringing with it a peace that passes all understanding.
That thing is a whistle-blower, in the form of a person (or persons, more is better, lol). These are truth teller, who articulate the abuse and neglect that sociopathic narcissists (dark tetrad) parents have been subjecting you to all along but which you didn't see. They label your parents behavior correctly, as cruelty, negligence, endangerment, scapegoating, abandonment, manipulation, triangulation (pitting people against you), backstabbing, exclusion, favoritism of other siblings, rejection, invalidation, humiliation, exploitation.
They tell the real version of your story, using the right words not the spun, hypocritical, double standard, fake version your sociopathic narcissist parents told. They put things in perspective for you. They shine true light on the gaslighting. They call out the your parents nastiness as just that. Your truth tellers use actual terms instead of the minimizing, reductionist or lying bullshitty ones your sociopathic narcissist parents used. The whistle blower enlightens you. They tell it like it is. And thank God for them.
So narcissist parents' euphemistic "discipline" and "God's will for you" is said correctly as "abuse" and "beating" and "demonic evil." Your truth teller explains that you having to do all the housework with hours of heavy, hard labor is not the nice-sounding "chores" but slavery. It's not "helping around the house" or "what is means to be part of the family." The truth teller says, no, this is doing everyone's work for them because no one else works that hard or works at all.
And it's not your "duty" to wait hand and foot on you parents, their new families or anyone as if you were a minion. And it's not "family" because 1) not everyone is doing it and 2) they don't treat you like family. They treat you like an unpaid staff, the live-in nanny, their housekeeper, butler, footman, chief cook and bottle washer, laundress and scullery maid. They make you earn everything including love, which you never get. They keep charging you exorbitant fees with usurious interest which you keep paying and then they move the target and you never get the things. Things that you need for survival. .
You never realized until he explained it. You lived in a cloud of FOG, fear, obligation and guilt. Your poor brain was so damaged by their conflicting, chaotic, shifting, debilitating demands that you could not think, feel, see, hear clearly. Your sleep was always and is still disturbed by it all. You are shell-shocked with a complex PTSD that never gets any better. It gets worse.
And then you hear or read something that cuts through the fog. Your truth teller says something that flips a switch and illuminates it all. It takes your breath away, in its simplicity, clarity and shocking revelation. You think, AHA! It makes perfect sense. Why did I not see that all along! Of course that's what they were doing. She's right! But you couldn't have heard them because the dark tetrad sociopathic narcissist parents were screaming him down. They instituted smear campaigns against him before he even said anything to you.
BECAUSE THEY RECOGNIZED HIM AS YOUR SALVATION AND THEY HATED HIM FOR IT!! They knew she spoke the gospel words of truth. They knew God was speaking to you through him. And they knew that God's message was that they were not doers of good but of wickedness. They were leading you astray, putting a millstone around your neck and pushing you over the edge. They were leading you to frustration and despair with their sick, deceitful, selfish, disgusting arrogant, entitled self-righteous, unholy, hypocritical demands.
They do not speak the language of God but of the father of lies. And they are afraid you will see that and then their reign of terror over you will be over. God will use the truth tellers to break your shackles that keep them enmeshed in you and you in bondage to them. This, for abused children of sociopathic narcissists, is what scripture means when it promises that those in darkness will see a great light and that a day of liberty from captivity is coming.
I have several truth tellers in my family, my husband being the one who sees it most clearly. He's been seeing for a long time and helping me to understand. He's showed up and held space for me. He patiently kept speaking the truth against their lies, till, when I was almost 60, I began to be able to hear it. I've also received immeasurably helpful truth from Youtube podcasters (in no particular order).
Dr. Ramani
Patrick Teahan
Dr. Les Carter
Jerry Wise
Danish Bashir
I thank God for their assistance and guidance in steering me to healing CPTSD from sociopathic narcissist parent abuse. I've got a long ways to go but it's always easier when you can see the path and recognize the pitfalls as pitfalls. When you can listen to the right people, the healers, for directions instead of the dangerous, deceitful, gaslighting liars, who would lead you over the edge and into the abyss and laugh as you fall.
No comments:
Post a Comment