Demonic and deceitful ways Christian narcissist parents destroy their kids

 Hi friends! I'm working to heal from CPTSD caused by abuse, neglect, endangerment, abandonment, manipulation, exploitation, parentification, triangulation, enmeshment, invalidation, toxic shaming, scapegoating and gaslighting about it all by four narcissistic parents. Today I'm looking at demonic and deceitful ways Christian narcissist parents destroy their kids. 

First, why do I specify Christian narcissist parents? Because Christianity gives them an arsenal of weapons, tailor-made to gaslight kids. Now I understand that sounds very wrong. And it is but not it the way you may think. It's not Jesus, God, the Bible or faith in those things that are wrong.  It's the way Satan twists the narcissist's  understanding of God into what the narcissist already wants to believe, that they aren't subject to God's laws and that they are god-like themselves. Satan then teaches his disciples to weaponize this against their children. 

Did I just call narcissistic parents disciples of the devil? Yes, and very intentionally. And so does God. Because they've made themselves his disciples by putting themselves above God. This is exactly why Lucifer was evicted from heaven. "Thou shalt have no other gods before me." Including yourself. 

Further, in his word, Our Lord identifies Pharisees who bind others up to expectations they don't help carry as evil-DOERS and hypocrites. They love the sound of their own voices. They are white-washed sepulchers full of death and destruction. He says that not all who call him Lord are actually his followers. Because they say one thing and do another. And because they serve two masters. Sounds pretty much like devil worship to me. 

And the way narcissistic parents do this is super sneaky, just like their master, whom we know is the father of deceit. They use words to paint a false picture of themselves. They do things that APPEAR (operative word) to be following God (read the Bible, preach, go to church). But it's an act. They don't follow up on it. It's all show and no go. It's a lot of word salad designed to baffle, deceive, gaslight and confuse. 

You'll remind me now that no one is perfect and everyone fails occasionally and I will agree. This isn't accidental however. Nor is it occasional. Narcissist parents consistently and blatantly flout God's commands. My parent did the very things they preached against and which God's word says is sin. 

The very fact that my narcissistic parents were so obsessed with "preaching" God's word shows how bass-ackwards it was. They wanted to TELL others how to live their lives not show them. Scripture warns us to be very careful about calling ourselves preachers and teachers. Because, obviously, people are watching our actions and if they don't measure up, it would be better to just keep our mouths shut. 

And if you do it out of pride, because you consider yourself beyond God's reach, above it all, or to hear yourself preach, you're destined for a fall. If you lure, tempt and seduce others to sin, woe to you, God says. All of these things I was forced to watch happening. They weren't shy or embarrassed by their behavior. They never apologized and later lied about ever doing it. 

Narcissist parents are the very worst type of hypocrite. They don't love God or other people. They love themselves. They are arrogance on crack. They treat their children like extensions of themselves. I was servant, surrogate parent, surrogate spouse and scapegoat to my parents and their new spouses. I was not allowed to have thoughts and feelings. Needs and wants didn't get met. I was supposed meet their needs (which were mostly wants). Scripture didn't apply to them, only  me. They went out of their way to do the very things they preached against. They made me feel guilty and responsible. And they gaslit me into thinking this was all God's will. 

The reason Christian narcissist parents are so successful at deceiving their kids, the reason children swallow this bullshit hook, line and sinker, is the unique place parents hold in their lives. They are, in a sense, God to their children. They are the first image of Him that little ones see. That's why the Bible is so adamant about not leading a child astray. 

And if the first God voice we hear is lying, tricking, undermining, mocking, conniving, shaming we believe it the same as if it were loving, caring and nurturing. In fact, it goes even deeper than belief which is on some level choice. I have, as an adult, chosen to believe that God loves me. Even though as a child, I didn't feel loved and was not cared for at all. 

This thing that kids develop when raised by narcissists is a core autonomic response, an instinct or kneejerk reaction. It's fear, shame, misery, self-loathing, hurt plus other terrible things all rolled into one. It's a sick knowledge that God loves everyone but us. That we are so far gone he's given up. Even though I know with my frontal lobe it's not true, it's somehow ingrained in my deep root brain. I have to fight it constantly. I don't think there is actually a word for this devilish evil that narcissist parents embed in us. But they certainly do a great job training us up in it and departing from it next to impossible to do.