Sunday, February 28, 2021

I regained some weight lost: The good, bad and great news about starting over

GAH!! I knew it was bound to happen. After losing 100 pounds, I've regained some weight lost and bumped up a size. I haven't gained that much. The top picture is recent and the bottom was prior to any weight loss. But I'm still pretty disappointed. 

I promised you "reals" and "feels" on this blog--honesty, real time updates and genuine feelings, not schmaltzy-fake happy ever afters. I don't know about you but I'd rather have sincere negativity once in awhile than fakey positivity and rainbow sprinkle pony poop all the time. That last term was coined by a dear writer friend who found life unbearable and said her goodbyes a few years ago. I miss ya, girlfriend 😭.  See, I promised ya truth. 

And truth is, right now, I could kick myself. If  I wasn't in so much pain, LOL. I had shoulder surgery a month ago and I knew I was probs going to gain some weight. I have to eat a bunch of protein to heal the multiple injuries. But I'm sitting on mah butt a lot cuz too much movement makes it hurt like an Andreych Sonovabitch. 

I knew I was gaining back some weight prior to this. I don't know how much because they always weigh me with all my clothes and boots on. Not that this accounts for all the weight gain. But it is pretty inaccurate. The biggest reason is that I frankly don't want to know. I know I've written a lot about being honest about weight. Part of the reason I put on weight is because I refused accept how big I was getting.

However, after losing, I hit a plateau and then I bounced up a little as you often do after big weight loss. And I began doing a very physically exerting job. So I did build muscle which as we know weighs more than fat. Again, though, probably only enough only to account for 5 lbs. Also, I lend more credence to clothing fit and how I look in the mirror than weight. So as I'm now more self-aware, getting on the scale all the time was just discouraging. 

I now have to accept that I'm bigger in the stomach and thighs. Thighs are pretty firm, tummy not at all. And I admit that I have not been following any kind of calorie counting. Having to eat more protein doesn't mean candy, chips and lasagna. I can't have it both ways--ignoring the scale and the diet. Otherwise it won't just be 20 or 30 pounds but 100 I'll have to re-lose. So that's the bad news. 

The good news is that I caught it in time to do something about it. The great news is that I know what I need to do and I'm getting busy doing it. I remember how I lost 100 pounds and what worked last time, will work again. I'm back to 1,200 calories a day. I've dug out my diet recipes and restarted my light version food swaps. I got back on the fat burner MCT (medium chain triglycerides or coconut oil) apple cider vinegar, green tea, raspberry ketones and cinnamon (sugar blocker). I've purged the junk snacks, sweets and wine. It will be a little harder because I'm so sedentary. But I got this. I'd like to lose 20 pounds by June 1. I'll let you know how it goes. 

Love to you all 💓💓

P.S. The tricky part will be to avoid falling into the self-loathing that I so easily stumble over. I'll keep you posted on how that goes too. 🙏

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