How I lost 100 pounds by going no contact with narcissist parents: unexpected outcomes of healing childhood trauma

 Hello my friends. This blog began life as a tutorial on how I lost 100 pounds. Then about 2 years ago, I began recognizing and beginning to address some of the childhood trauma I'd experienced from four narcissist parents. I say childhood trauma but as any child of malignant narcissist parents knows, it doesn't end in childhood. Narcissists don't age well and they get better at their ugly manipulative, cruel, destructive behaviors the longer they get away with it. And many of us, especially women in their fifties on up, grew up never being allowed to express anything, let alone criticism of selfish, entitled parents. They crippled, blinded, deafened and silenced us to the abuse they were wreaking on us. They gaslit us into believed they owed us nothing and we owed them everything. They endangered and abandoned us,  cutting off all support and depriving us, while still demanding we care for them. And like the good little do-bees we were groomed to be, we did. To the utter destruction of ourselves. We quietly died inside so they could usurp our beings. It really is that bad. 

So now that I've taken the blinders off and begun to use my eyes, ears and voice, I see the trauma, chaos, deprivation, neglect and abuse for what it was. And I saw my four parents for the self-centered, entitled, Machiavellian, sadists they were. It was, is and would continue to be that bad had I not  made the unenviable decision to cut tie and go not contact (or hyper low contact) with the remaining two parents. And that, I see now is part of how I lost 100 pounds. Albeit I lost weight before this big epiphany, I was at least starting to question them and to believing their gaslighting lies. 

And you know what started that process? Not me realizing how bad they'd treated me all these years. It was the way they treated my children. I've always been much better at defending others than myself. I've been quick to see abuse and call it out when others are experiencing than I am at seeing how I  have been harmed. That's why it took me till 59 to be able to accept that what happened to me happened, without candy-coating it and making excuses for them. 

So how is all this relevant to how I lost 100 pounds? Well, understanding obesity and childhood trauma links is another work in progress. I'll be writing a series on that in the weeks to come. Today, I'll focus on one unexpected outcome of healing childhood trauma from narcissist parents and that is that in  finding my voice also found my freedom. I found that I had lived all my life playing supporting cast to their main character syndrome. I did, said, thought, believed what they did. It wasn't safe not to. And that fear they that had always used to hold me captive, suddenly lost its power. 

I could dress, live, eat, think, react, the way I wanted to, not the way they gaslit me into believing I  had to. I could buy what I wanted, no longer letting the deprivation mode they imposed on me (just me) dictate. And how does that affect how I lost 100 pounds? Obesity and weight gain are directly linked to parental neglect and abuse. Damaged food relationships stem from fears and experiences of doing without, going hungry, not having needs met. And my weight gain was almost entirely down to depression from abuse and neglect, anxiety about not being enough, guilt and shame over letting people down, trauma nightmares destroying my sleep and other family of origin issues.

My weight gain is also directly attributable to losing two stillborn babies which is directly attributable to malignant narcissist parent trauma. I'll blog more on that in my next article. In summary, going no contact with malignant narcissist parents was an exit door to their
unhealthy emotional control and an entrance to taking back power stolen from me. 

How I lost 100 pounds with madly easy diet food swaps for March Madness Weight Loss Challenge

Hello my friends of this blog on how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass surgery or weight loss drugs. Our weight loss challenge for this month is March Madness. Here are madly easy diet food swaps and diet recipes! Before I begin, some thoughts. 

You know that show "My 600-lb Life" where patients with morbid obesity work to lose weight with gastric bypass surgery? Well, one thing I notice on every "My 600-lb Life" is not only how much calorie driven food they eat but how simple it would be to tweak them with diet food swaps. And these aren't yucky diet food swaps. They taste essentially the same. 

Quantity of food also an issue. To overcome obesity, people on "My 600-lb Life" follow a 1200 calorie diet. But the good thing about these diet food swaps is that they allow you to eat more, while still keeping to the 1200 calorie diet. This was an integral part of how I lost 100 pounds. Here are my best diet food swaps for our March Madness weight loss challenge. 

Light butter or real butter mixed half and half with light olive oil

45 calorie a slice bread (this can cut calories by up to 75%)

Joseph's lavash or pita or Fold-It protein wraps in place of bread or tortillas

grapefruit or berries in place of other fruits

whole fruit instead of juice

vegetables instead of fruit (sweeten foods with sweet potatoes of squash)

Beef instead of pork, chicken instead of beef, fish instead of chicken

falafel and hummus instead of meat

Stay tuned for more on how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass or weight loss drugs. 

How I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass with the sleeping bag principle

Hello friends of this blog on how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass or weight loss drugs! Oh how I love to write titles that intrigue! You may be ( I hope you are!) wondering how I lost 100 pounds with the sleeping bag principle. Explaining is going to require sharing some painful past experiences but I hope it will help you. And talking about it, I've learned, helps me. 

I grew up learning that I was responsible for everyone else and to take care of others at the expense of taking care of myself. I didn't know that I wasn't supposed to feel constant pain, guilt and shame and self-hatred. I didn't know that I was supposed to take care of myself and so didn't have the slightest idea of how or what I even needed. 

Well you may ask what the heck this has to do with weight loss or gain, obesity or how I lost 100 pounds. And that's a good question. Actually, caring for others to the harm of myself meant I didn't get needs met. I didn't eat enough and in college, dropped down to around 100 pounds. I cut myself short at every turn. I was so used to going without (a bed, warmth, enough food, adequate health care, even a home) that I thought this was how it was supposed to be. 

So going without got me too thin, but it also got me overweight too. After losing two stillborn babies, I was depressed and miserable. I asked a doctor for help and he asked me what antidepressant I wanted (?!?). So I said Paxil which turned out to be the wrong prescription. But not knowing how to care for myself, I didn't wonder at a doctor asking me to prescribe my own antidepressant. 

Paxil didn't just impede healing, it slammed the door on it. I got more and more overweight, felt more and more apathy and got more and more depressed. Fast forward to 2011 and I'm in morbid obesity. I overate and over-drank because Paxil took out my limit switches. I was confused, exhausted and in agony,  mentally, emotionally and physically. And clueless where to turn. 

Then one evening, I had a flash of insight. I saw my obesity for what it was. And I realized that I could do something about it. But first, I had to reprogram those feelings of worthlessness. I had to redefine, or define, what I really needed. 

And I did that by looking at how I was able to take care of others. I knew what they needed: love, affirmation, safety, warmth, a home, a sense of self, security, nutritious food, health care when they were ill. I had to come to understand that I needed those same things. 

So about the sleeping bag. When I was 17, I went camping with friends. Everyone had sleeping bags, tents, overnight bags with suits, towels, sunscreen, you know, all the stuff you need. I didn't bring anything, not only because I didn't have most of them, it didn't even occur to me that I would need them. I had always been left to manage for myself, pretty much. A youth leader took pity on me and gave me an army blanket but I still froze at night and got a rash because turns out, I'm allergic to wool. 

I remembered this experience a few years ago and realized that it was by no means an isolated instance. As a kid and teen, I often lack basic necessities. And what wasn't provided, I learned to live without. But, oddly or not, I knew that other people needed these things. I never questioned why other family members had bikes, beds, pillows,  toys, desks, proper clothing and shoes while I had to buy my own, use cast offs or manage without. I understood that others needed a their own bedroom but that I had to sleep in the baby's room. That I had to do all the chores so others could relax. 

So while I didn't get the message that I required care as a kid, I knew, as a parent, my kids did. Looking at how I provided for them (not perfectly, of course, but doing the best I could), that I should give myself the same things. And I'm setting about now to get my head around how to do that. This is a huge part of how I weaned off Paxil, found more effective ways to manage depression and lost 100 pounds. 

Stay tuned for more on self-care. 

New Year, Old You weight loss challenge and the emotional health component

Hello pals of  this blog on how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass or weight loss drugs. Today in my New Year, Old You weight loss challenge, I'm preparing for my mental health counseling appointment and thinking about how much emotional health plays into weight loss or gain, obesity, and overall health. We hear on the gastric bypass reality show "My 600-lb Life" heartbreaking stories of abuse, neglect, shame, grief and depression. Categorically speaking, there's no way to get healthy physically if the emotional health part isn't addressed. 

I'm titling this challenge New Year Old You because while I may want to lose weight, I don't want to change the core me. And that's integral to the mental health component of obesity. I want to clean up the outside so the inside can shine through. It's always a joy to watch "My 600-lb Life" patients discover, after gastric bypass, the real person they are and the lives they were meant to lead. It's exciting to see the laziness, whining, self-pitying and denial give way to energetic, joyful, participating in life! 

In morbid obesity, we become someone we're not. We adopt unhealthy behaviors and spiral into misery. Part of how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass or weight loss drugs, was to rediscover the old me, the warrior, adventurer, lover, friend and carer buried inside. I had to do battle with demons of guilt, shame, helpless hopelessness and fear. I had to (and still have to) unpack neglect, abuse, grief, anxiety, and depression. 

If you need someone to tell you that you deserve to be happy and healthy, please, let that person be me! You can do whatever you need to do to find that, with the help of your higher power! I love you and am cheering you on! 

Love, mar

How I lost 100 pounds by understanding hunger vs cravings and abating vs satiating

Hello friends of this blog on how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass or weight loss drugs. In the last blog post, I discussed portion control. Today, we'll explore misunderstanding hunger, which is probably the main driving force behind weight gain and obesity. Gastric bypass patients on "My  600-lb Life" are shown constantly eating and thinking about food. They are convinced that they won't get full on the 1200 calorie diet that "My 600-lb Life" Dr. Now puts them on. Part of how I lost 100 pounds was understand hunger vs cravings and abating vs satiating hunger.  

Part of how I got overweight was by taking Paxil which threw off my limit switches. I ate too much without realizing it. I've seen other people with obesity, do this too. I once watch a morbidly overweight friend with opioid addiction, eat an entire package of cookies in her sleep. Antidepressants have a bad habit of causing weight gain because of this. So do opioids. Many people on "My 600-lb Life" are also on antidepressants and often opioids. 

Part of how I lost 100 pounds was with a 1200 calorie diet. To succeed with calorie restricting, you have to accept that you will not always feel completely full. Your hunger is abated vs satiated. And further hunger may be cravings (obsessing on certain foods). Hunger and satiation are quantitative. You have to determine whether you are actually feeling hungry or just thinking about food and if so, how hungry you really are. 

I think the 1200 calorie diet worked for me because I've gotten used to feeling a little hungry all the time. I don't need to be completely full to feel satisfied. Having short-term antidepressant induced obesity, and not a lifetime habit of overeating, it wasn't so difficult to practice portion control. It was easier to identify cravings as thoughts about rather than need for food. 

In the next post, I'll discuss some "Jedi mind tricks" to practice willpower and talk yourself out of eating. 

 

How I lost 100 pounds with portion control, the missing link in weight loss

Hello my friends of this blog on how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass or weight loss drugs. I celebrate my 10th anniversary of shedding morbid obesity and while I'm still, according to the BMI a little overweight, I've managed to maintain weight loss. Today while enjoying some homemade mac and cheese, I realized that a large part of how I lost 100 pounds was with  portion control and that this is the missing link in weight loss. 

I often look to the gastric bypass reality show "My 600-lb Life" for links to obesity and inspiration for blog posts on how to lose weight. And one major reason "My 600-lb Life" participants end up needing gastric bypass bariatric surgery is portion control fail. They not only eat very calorie dense foods but also way too much. 

I call portion control the missing link in diet discussion because, while we talk about what to eat, we don't talk enough about how much. Probably the biggest hurdle for folks on "My 600-lb Life" is amend 12,000 calories a day to a 1200 calorie diet. I got to thinking about this because as I was about to write a post on diet recipes for favorite comfort foods, I realized that I don't always want diet versions. I want the real thing: gooey mac and cheese, meat lovers lasagna with real pasta, not lentil noodles and Lindt Lindor truffles, not sugar-free Splenda chocolate that taste more like playground monkey bars than chocolate. 

That's one reason obesity is such a problem: we like our comfort foods and diet versions mostly don't satisfy.  Part of how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass was to eat as though I had had bariatric surgery, as if I  had a smaller stomach that could only hold smaller portions. At first, when my stomach was larger, I was really hungry. So I filled up on vegetables. Later as my stomach shrunk, I was able to feel more satisfied with portion control. 

I did make diet recipes of favorite foods because let's face it, 100-200 calories of mac and cheese is like 3 bites. And I'm not going to get full on that. But I wove it into my daily 1200 calorie diet. I also learned to rethink satisfied hunger and accept the fact that it was okay to feel some. I'll blog more on that in the next post as this is a biggee in weight loss. 

How I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass with vegetable soup cleanse

 Hello dear followers of this blog on how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass or weight loss drugs! On this lovely winter day, let's look at ways to keep that "New Year, Old You" weight loss challenge going. Part of  how I lost 100 pounds was with cleanse foods. And just perfect for cold weather, here are vegetable soup cleanse recipes to purge away the excess pounds picked up in holiday feasting.

Many weight loss regimen promise that you can lose weight without changing diet. I'm sorry to say that to shift any significant amount of weight, some change in eating habits is required, either with intermittent fasting, a cleanse, 1200 calorie diet, keto diet, etc. As gastric bypass shows like "My 600-lb Life" have demonstrated, no matter how you slice it, obesity is about eating too much, of the wrong foods, or both. 

Yes, I know that obesity, as defined by the BMI (body mass index) can be a little misleading. Bodybuilders, for example, have a large amount of muscle mass, compared to fat. Their weight may put them in overweight or obese. In that case, BMI may be inaccurate as it's not measuring body composition. And weight loss is about burning fat (the white adipose tissue kind) and converting it to muscle.  

But we're not talking about that type of "obesity" here. We're talking about "My 600-lb Life" white adipose tissue obesity gained from overeating eating junk food and not moving. I always have to make that disclaimer because part of how many of us got overweight was by denying obesity and making excuses for it. 

So back to the point of this post: how I lost 100 pounds burning fat with a vegetable soup cleanse. A soup cleanse activates the fat burning power of vegetables, herbs and spices. It's also, for you frugalistas, a great way to use up leftover veggies! My vegetable soup cleanse doesn't follow a specific recipe. I've always followed a rainbow diet as part of my 1200 calorie eating plan. So I aim to get as much color in my vegetable soup as possible. And of course, using up leftovers is the goal too. 

So yesterday, for my "new year, old you" weight loss challenge my vegetable soup cleanse recipe went like this:

Chicken bone broth (for protein), oregano and sage, turmeric, rainbow pepper and ginger (anti-inflammatory herbs) and Bragg's liquid amino (healthy salt substitute). Cauliflower, brussels sprouts, mushrooms, celery, red onion, scallions, red and yellow peppers and fresh parsley, cilantro and dill. To make it creamy and for

extra keto fat burning, I added mashed avocado. I topped it with rainbow slaw (shredded carrots and green and purple cabbage purple tossed with lemon juice, agave syrup and smidge of olive oil.)

Make a big batch and eat only this when intermittent fasting, It's perfect for the 1200 calorie diet as bone broth gives a bang of protein for very little calorie investment. You can pretty much eat as much as you want and so stave off hunger which is the bane of a cleanse or diet. 

How I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass by being prepared for "those days"

Hey my dear friends of this blog on how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass surgery or weight loss drugs. How ya doing? Me, I'm having one of those days. A day which feels like a year. Where it's one step forward and 26 steps back. All I want to do is put on my jammie pants, crawl into bed with a book and eat lasagna and Lindt truffles (dark chocolate) all day. 

It occurred to me that being ready for these kinds of days is how I lost 100 pounds and overcame the "obesity mindset." And being ready includes understanding why I'm having one of "those days" in the first place. Clearly, I'm needing something: rest, recuperation, down time, a day to not just do something but sit there (thank you Alanon). 

As for the pasta and sweets, I may actually be needing that too. Our bodies are so intelligently designed that they tell us when we are low on something. Our brains operate on glucose (sugar) so if I'm tired, I may need a jolt of sugar to feed my brain. That doesn't mean refined sugar, necessarily. An apple or banana will do just as well. 

Having said that, one day of eating too many truffles won't hurt. It's the pattern unhealthy eating. If I maintain my 1200 calorie diet 80-90% of the time, the cheat days will not derail weight loss. But they can lead to breakdown in the 1200 calorie diet momentum. If you've seen the gastric bypass reality show "My 600-lb Life" you know that obesity happens when "those days" become everyday experience. 

"My 600-lb Life" shows what happens when we're not prepared for "those days." Feeling depressed, anxious, stressed and exhausted can feel like forever. It seems when you're in the tunnel that the light at the end will never shine. "My 600-lb Life" shows overweight people drowning their sorrows in food. Overeating and under-exercising become the norm rather than the exception. And the more we overeat and sit around the more overweight we become and the more depressed, anxious, tired and stressed we become. 

I challenge us in the "New Year, Old You" weight loss plan, to welcome "those days" as a chance to unwind, but to stay the course on the 1200 calorie diet so that we can feel better ASAP. Stay tuned for more on  how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass, with feel good tips, recipes and helps. 

How I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass or weight loss drugs: New year, old you

Happy New Year, my dear friends of this blog on how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass or weight loss drugs! Last year I began a monthly series of weight loss challenges, or should I say health maintenance challenges. I began in January with the New Year challenge and kept it going. Now in 2024, my thrown gauntlet is to ring in a new year, old you! 

What the heck, you may be wondering...old me? I thought I was supposed to try and create a new me?? That's what all the diets and weight loss shows advertise, a new you. Some celebrity is always "debuting stunning weight loss transformation." Entire weight loss shows like "Mama June" and "My 600-lb Life" are based around makeover. 

 Well, I think that's an unhealthy goal to strive for. We inhabit the bodies we were given. We're told in the Bible that we are made in the image and likeness of God. So why should I try or even want to remake myself? What I want to do is be the best ole' me I can be. I want to live my healthiest in my God-given skin. And keeping the focus on that is  part of how I lost 100 pounds. 

See, I used to have the makeover mindset. I didn't like body, or mind or person I'd been assigned. A series of unfortunate events and relationships throughout my life, have chipped away at my self-image. So I began my weight loss adventure, seeking a do-over. And I will say that after I lost 100 pounds I looked and felt a lot different. When they say that someone is unrecognizable after massive weight loss, it is in part true. The confidence boost you get from an achievement is partly responsible for that. 

But even after I lost 100 pounds, I had to accept that I was still me and I have found that this is a good thing. So my challenge is New Habits for a New Year in a good old you! 

How I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass and can do it again

 

Hello friends of this blog on how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass. Today I had the unpleasant experience of seeing myself in a candid photo. I realized that I have gained weight again and from the side, look pretty overweight. So before I lost weight, this would have sent me into a tailspin of depression. But now I know that I can lose weight again. 

Part of how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass was to identify negative and hurtful self-image messages and to discover my own ability to lose weight and overcome obesity. Now, instead of defaulting to self-hatred and shame, I look at myself objectively. 

First, I acknowledge that the picture I saw was a side profile. I wearing a fitted hoodie and was bending over. This is going to show every bulge and also, bent over, makes me look more overweight than I would standing straight. Am I making excuses and in  denial over weight gain? Am I acting like the gastric bypass patients on "My 600-lb Life" who blind themselves to obesity and justify weight gain with falsehoods?

No, I'm just clarifying to myself part of why I look so much bigger so that I can avoid the negative self-image and stay focused and goal oriented. If you've ever struggled with low self esteem, you'll know how it can sabotage healthy choices. Low self-esteem causes depression which can lead to comfort eating of comfort food. Low self-esteem is actually be counter-productive to weight loss. 

That said, I've gained weight. Not 100 pounds, thank God. I'm may be overweight, according to some BMI scales. but that's debatable and I'm not obese. Are there reasons I've gained weight? Sure. My husband has been off on disability with a very painful shoulder injury. We've been eating more junk food and not been as active. BUT, these are reasons, not excuses. Here's what I have learned about reasons. To lose weight, I have to take the focus off from them and put it on the solution. Which is direct action.

So the next step, the easy part, is to do what I did when I lost 100 pounds (without gastric bypass or weight loss drugs): go back to the calorie cuts I made when I first lost weight. I might not even need to restart the 1200 calorie diet though I think it would be a good idea starting after Christmas. 

In the next post on how I lost 100 pounds and can do it again, I'll look at super simple calorie cuts to lose weight!

I'm praying you all have just the kind of holiday you need it to be <3 mar

December Weight Loss Challenge: Advent Fast to anticipate Christmas Feast

Hello friends of this blog on how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass surgery or weight loss drugs! Each month since January, this year, I've been issuing a series of monthly weight loss challenges (wow did that year fly by!) This month, I'm calling for an Advent fast to anticipate the Christmas feast. For four weeks prior to the Christmas holiday, Catholics observe Advent, a penitential season which prepares our hearts for the coming of Jesus. As in Lent prior to Easter, we up our prayers, fasting and almsgiving.

Part of how I lost 100 pounds was with a 1200 calorie diet such as Dr. Now uses on "My 600-lb Life" gastric bypass reality show. When I lost 35 pounds in 1992, after the birth of my 3rd child, I used intermittent fasting, a  weight loss technique that's come into vogue. I fasted on bread and water every Wednesday and Friday, for spiritual reasons, as our Lady of Medjugorje called us to. I had no thought to lose weight. But lose weight I did and it was a big surprise. 

So now every time I practice intermittent fasting, during religious seasons of Advent and Lent, I can't help  wondering and hoping to lose weight. Admittedly, it kind of takes the focus off spiritual growth to have this ulterior motive. But I guess it's all good because if I'm overweight and need to lose weight, then I'm doing my body as well as my soul some good with intermittent fasting. 

And really, intermittent fasting, or observing a 1200 calorie diet for a few weeks is good for emotional and mental health as well. It helps get the focus off food. In obesity, before I lost 100 pounds, I didn't practice self-control so well. And I didn't like that feeling of being out of control. "My 600-lb Life" shows people with morbid obesity struggling with food addiction and out-of-control eating. 

Following a 1200 calorie diet or intermittent fasting empowers me and makes me feel better about myself. "My 600-lb Life" shows gastric bypass patients happier as they take back control from food addiction. Now this might sound overwhelming to make such a drastic switch if you're used to eating a great deal more. But as I said in an earlier post, we don't have to do it forever. As Alanon says, we take it one day at a time. We ask for the strength just for today, to make choices that are in our best interest. 

And it's good for social health too. Eating less and simpler frees up monies to share with those who need it more than I do. It helps me live Advent virtues of love and generosity. Feel free to join me on the December weight loss challenge and even share it on social media! And stay tuned for more on how I lost 100 pounds. 

How I lost 100 pounds and stay sane with Attitude of Gratitude Alanon Slogans

 

Hello friends of this blog on how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass surgery or weight loss drugs. This month as part of my 2023 series of weight loss challenges I'm looking at Thanksgiving. Not the dinner so much as the act of being thankful. Part of how I lost 100 pounds was by working on the "Attitude of Gratitude diet" and Alanon slogans are very helpful there. One of my favorites is "Just for Today." 

To me, Just for today means that I try to live the best I can without worrying about how I'll do tomorrow. Alanon encourages us to ask for the strength Today to do what would panic and overwhelm us to envision keeping up for a lifetime. Because we don't have to do it for a lifetime. We've been given today and that's all we're expected to live. So how what does that have to do with obesity, being overweight, weight loss or weight in general? How does that relate to the "attitude of gratitude diet"? 

The Attitude of Gratitude diet isn't so much about what you eat as it is being thankful for being able to eat (walk, move, live, love, etc.) I'm thankful to God for giving me this day to live and also that I don't have to worry about tomorrow. I have to plan for it but they are just plans, ideas or goals if you will. I don't have to manage tomorrow's tasks today. 

We see in the show "My 600-lb Life" examples of people's lives who have been all but destroyed by trying to do it all, have it all and fix it all. Sure now we see them crippled by obesity. But they didn't start life like that. Now we see the people on "My 600-lb Life" whining, pouting and being endlessly selfish and ungrateful. But they weren't always like that. Many of the "My 600-lb Life" backstories involve abuse, neglect, shame, and a continual beating down. So they learned to weaponize eating and in turn obesity. 

I read a story about the, at the time, oldest man in the world, who was a Jewish Holocaust survivor. He was asked his favorite food to which he replied that he hadn't a favorite. He was just glad to be able to eat. I urge us all, no matter where we are: overweight, underweight or average, to consider going on an attitude of gratitude diet. To live just for today, being glad and thankful for what we have. I have found that this helps emotional health immensely, if not physical health and weight loss. 

Did you find this helpful? Please like, share and subscribe for more on how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass or weight loss drugs. 

November Weight Loss Challenge: Thanksgiving Attitude of Gratitude diet

Hello friends of this blog on how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass or weight loss drugs. Each month in 2023, I've been issuing weight loss challenges and November is Thanksgiving Attitude of Gratitude Diet or how to lose weight with a "Fattitude" adjustment. 

I think it's fair to say that  at least in the US, many of us could use an attitude adjustment toward more positivity and less entitled negativity. The Covid 19 pandemic and the 2020 election were real eye-openers to our out of control entitlement, reactional and manufactured anger and hypocritical selfishness. Where those of us with differing ideologies got along fairly well before, now the masks are off, pun intended. The ridiculous (and illegal, I might add) "Let's Go Brandon" flags, anti-President Biden bumper stickers and T-shirts show the viral hate that's infected our nation. 

A deadly virus, Covid 19, has been weaponized and polarized by the far right deniers. Instead of social distancing and mask-wearing to prevent people dying (my husband and I almost did, and still have long Covid symptoms), they twisted it into a debate over "constitutional rights." Which, you'll pardon the former Civics teacher lecture, include first and foremost, the right to LIFE. 

So what does all this have to do with this blog? Everything. An attitude of negativity and ungratefulness leads to what I call an obesity mindset. An overweight, plus-sized narcissistic, gluttonous, "me first, last and always" self-absorption. And that, to the Culture of Death. In that obesity mindset, we will do anything to get what we want. We rewrite the narrative to tell ourselves we need and deserve it. It's our RIGHT to have it. And we stomp on anyone we deem to be in our way. 

We see examples of this on the gastric bypass reality show "My 600-lb Life." People with crippling obesity getting more and more overweight and dragging caregivers and family down with them. The entire world revolves around the "My 600-lb Life" patient with everyone dancing attendance, serving, waiting on, humoring, cleaning up after and enabling. 

So yes, "My 600-lb Life" is extreme. But that's just the point. It's the logical conclusion of selfishness and entitlement gone wild. This is not a hormone problem and a little overweight anymore. What may have started that way, has reached science fiction proportions. And why? Refusal to accept boundaries, self-discipline. A skewed sense of being above and beyond it all. If it feels good, do it. Which brings me full circle back to the Covid 19 pandemic. It stripped away illusion and revealed the level to which our self-centeredness has plunged us. We cared more about our RIGHT not to wear a mask than we did about protecting others. 

My challenge this November is less about weight loss and more a return (or beginning) to humility. I challenge us all to work at an attitude of gratitude. To really celebrate Life and Thanksgiving and each other. Vocation comes from the Latin "voco", to call. And we are all called, as Christians, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Sikh, Buddhist, pagan, by our deities or higher power, to love one another, as our higher power loves us. 

I think this month's weight loss challenge will be the most challenging because it goes to the inner core of why our lives and health get so out of control. Stay tuned for more on how I lost 100 pounds with "fattitude adjustments" like this. Thanks for joining. 

How I lost 100 pounds while doing sedentary work from home

 Hello friends of this blog on how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass or weight loss drugs. Yesterday I shared how I lost 100 pounds ditching the sedentary job and by doing more active work shopping for Shipt. The truth is, I actually lost weight while still doing computer-based sedentary work from home. And now, working for Shipt is how I maintain weight loss. I promised in my last post to share how to lose weight despite working a desk job or doing remote work from home. 

Part of how I lost 100 pounds did not include gastric bypass but I did follow a similar 1200 calorie diet as bariatric surgery patients. The show "My 600-lb Life" depicts folks with morbid obesity learning to amend calorie intake with this 1200 calorie diet. While obesity wasn't to the level as those on "My 600-lb Life" I was overweight and getting more overweight each month (literally, weight gain was a snowball effect, once I began getting more overweight). 

I didn't use gastric bypass or a weight loss drug but I did use some herbal appetite suppressants  including:

--apple cider vinegar

--raspberry ketones

--garcinia cambogia

--green tea capsules

I also dejunked the house of temptation. Dr. Now of "My 600-lb Life" recommends this. I quit buying sweets and salty snacks and switched to low calorie butter, mayo, bread, milk and other staples. I added more protein and vegetables to my diet. This way I could feel full even when on the 1200 calorie diet. These and other diet changes were how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass while working at home and doing sedentary work. 

Stay tuned for more. 

How I lost 100 pounds ditching sedentary work and Shipt-ing the weight off

 Hello friends of this blog on how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass or weight loss drugs. Today, as part of my September Weight Loss Challenge: Back to Basics, we're looking at the role that occupation plays in weight gain. Sedentary jobs are notorious for packing on the pounds and generally decimating overall health. Part of how I lost 100 pounds was to ditch sedentary work and get up and move. 

I was a teacher for many years which is getting more sedentary and online as time goes by. Then as an online writer/blogger, it was all digital butt work. In that time, I went from overweight to morbid obesity. There were other factors, but I'm convinced that sitting the majority of the day led directly to getting overweight. 

Since I began shopping for Shipt in 2017, I'm much more active lugging, reaching, pushing a shopping cart, fetching and carrying, and running around the store filling Shipt orders. Being around food all day doesn't seem to be a problem because it is work-related. In fact, I'm too busy with my Shipt orders to think about food. One drawback is that when I come home at night, it is easier to reach for junk food than healthy 1200 calorie diet approved. But then, working from home remotely is no better. Sitting at my desk, 4 steps from the fridge, creates a lot of temptation. 

But I was able to lose weight when I was still working from home. In fact, blogging about the 1200 calorie diet and how I lost 100 pounds provided me with passive income and opportunities to research health and weight loss. And as for temptation, I've overcome poor eating habits before and I can do it again any time I want to. For me, active vs. passive sedentary work plus the 1200 calorie diet is the sweet spot to lose weight and keep obesity at bay. 

Now I can guess you're thinking: easier said than done, Mar. I can't just leave my job, the majority of which is computer-based (either in office or remote). Fair enough. So, in my next post, I'll explore how I lost 100 pounds doing sedentary work, including 1200 calorie diet tips, ways to get movement in and how to juggle work expectations with exercise needs. 

September Weight Loss Challenge: How I lost 100 pounds with fat-burning protein keto salads

Greetings friends of this blog on how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass or weight loss drugs. In January I began a series of monthly anti-obesity weight loss challenges and this month is Back to Basics September and the weight loss challenge is to restart or start the diet that most of us fell off during the summer. Following the 1200 calorie diet (similar to Dr. Now's of "My 600-lb Life") is part of how I lost 100 pounds. So I'm challenging myself to get back on that diet plan to maintain weight loss. One of the best diet foods I've used to lose weight are protein salads. Here are fat-burning protein keto salads (also called all food group salads). 

All food group or fat-burning protein keto salads feature a combination of vegetables, fruit, protein (meat, nuts and seeds), dairy, healthy MUFAS and some grains. They are a complete meal in themselves and really help curb hunger that is the bane of the 1200 calorie diet. Keto salads are perfect for those trying to beat obesity such as folks of "My 600-lb Life" experience. Or if you're just trying to maintain a healthy weight on a vegetarian or vegan diet, protein salads work well too. 

Berry Good Seeds Salad: So it's pretty common knowledge that nuts and seeds are a super good source of protein. But what's less known is that seeds are superior to nuts for fat-burning weight loss. My keto salads feature a variety of seeds like pepitas (pumpkin seeds), sunflower, chia seeds, celery seed and seeds from berries: blackberries, blueberries, strawberries, raspberries and pomegranate (kind of a berry fruit with the seeds inside). Oh and value added, berries are great antioxidants! 

So for my fat-burning salads, I start with spring mix, romaine/leaf lettuce and/or spinach. I sprinkle liberally with pepitas, add raspberries, blueberries or blackberries,  cashews and almonds and then mix in cooked chicken breast chunks or ahi tuna. I'll throw in feta or blue cheese chunks and top with Aji Verde sauce for dressing. At its simplest, Aji Verde (Peruvian) is blended cilantro, garlic, parmesan, lime juice and jalapeno. A little mayo can be added, but I just use mashed avocado. You can add the huacatay and hot yellow peppers if desired. I might also top with hummus or dress with lemon-vinegar-olive oil. 

You can jazz this up with any combination of nuts, seeds, berries and veggies you like. You can sub canned tuna, swordfish, salmon, steak pieces, bacon crumbles, etc. In fall, I add chopped apples (McIntosh or Granny Smith). You can use dried fruit but be sure to get the no added sugar type. If you're not vegan or egg-intolerant (I am), add diced hard-cooked egg. I don't add grain because it's just extra carbs but could use couscous or quinoa. And extra vegetables like colored peppers, onions or scallions, broccoli and cauliflower just add nutritional benefits without calories. 

All these work well for fighting obesity because they do fill you up and curb hunger. Just be sure to avoid the trap that I see so often on "My 600-lb Life." Patients awaiting gastric bypass will sabotage their own weight loss by taking a lovely, healthy salad and loading it up with all the not good: salad dressing, extra cheese and croutons. Those just max out your 1200 calorie diet with unnecessary fats and carbs. 

Stay tuned for more weight loss challenges, diet recipes and ideas on how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass. 

September Weight Loss Challenge: Back to Basics on 1200 calorie diet

 Hello my beloved friends and followers of this blog on how I lost 100 pounds (without gastric bypass or weight loss drugs)! I began this year issuing a monthly weight loss challenge but took a break in July and August. Now we're back in business with a September weight loss challenge: back to basics on the 1200 calorie diet. 

This blog explores how I lost 100 pounds in 2013-2014. I was so overweight that I was showing signs of hypertension, diabetes and liver problems. Ten years later (has it been that long??), I've managed to maintain most of the weight loss. I've yo-yo-ed a few times gaining back some weight. My BMI (body mass index) might contend that I'm slightly overweight again. But I don't place 100% faith in the BMI because there are so many other factors (overall  health, age, muscle tone, fat to muscle ratio, energy level, fit of clothing, the list is to long to rest so much weight on a mere height to weight ratio). 

Having said that, I know that my eating habits have gotten sloppy. So for September, I'm refocusing on the 1200 calorie diet that was integral to how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass or weight loss drugs. And summer is an easy time to get lazy with eating habits. I mean, c'mon, I live in Ice Cream Parlor Shop Central. There are literally seven ice cream shops in a half mile radius. That's a lot of temptation (one is actually called Sweet Temptations!) 

Add to that the BBQs, cookouts, picnics, graduations, weddings, baptisms, Bar Mitzvahs, yada yada and there's always something to derail that 1200 calorie diets. But school starting up is a good time to get more regimented about eating healthier. Funnily enough, next month's weight loss challenge is going to focus on how to fall off the regimented diet but we'll get to that later. There really is a method to my madness, I promise! 

Part of how I overcame obesity was to follow a diet plan similar to the one gastric bypass surgeon Dr. Now of the reality TV show "My 600-lb Life" uses. On "My 600-lb Life" people with morbid obesity unlearn (hopefully) life-taking overeating habits and relearn life-giving new ones. There are some things the "My 600-lb Life" doctors use that I don't and vice-versa. Stay tuned for more on what I do and eat to maintain overall weight loss. (some then and now photos for comparison)

How I lost 100 pounds ignoring the scale: Anxiety Out August weight loss

Hiya friends of this blog on how I lost 100 pounds. Today's post title might seem a bit paradoxical: how I lost 100 pounds by ignoring the scale? So how did you know you lost weight if you ignored the device which recorded your weight loss (if any)? Lemme splain. 

So clearly I needed to get a baseline weight when I first began my diet (I used calorie restricting on the 1200 calorie diet espoused by gastric bypass surgeon Dr. Now of the anti-obesity show "My 600-lb Life.") I also occasionally checked my weight loss progress. What I didn't do and still don't, 9 years after my big weight loss, is to babysit the scale weight myself daily or even weekly as Weight Watchers does. 

This diet pro-tip is part of my Anxiety Out August weight loss series. As you know if you've been following my "How I lost 100 Pounds" blog posts, this year I issued weight loss challenges beginning with New Year's resolutions and continuing. The challenge for Anxiety Out August is to de-stress weight loss as much as possible. 

Trying to lose weight can be incredibly depressing. When (not if) progress is slower than expected (because it always is), and you don't lose weight in places you want to and do in places you don't and intermittent fasting or calorie restricting on a 1200 calorie diet makes you tired and cranky (it will sometimes), anxiety will increase. And it's easier to stress or comfort eat, reduce exercise and stall weight loss. 

So back to my original tip of ignoring the scale. Weight measurement tools have their uses but they aren't' perfect and can knock anxiety out of the park. I personally believe that doctors put too much emphasis on scale numbers. If I'm not very overweight and my condition is not obesity related why must I be weighed every time I visit? And why, when I've just had shoulder surgery and have had to be more sedentary and probably did put on some weight, did I need it rubbed in my face? Answer: I don't. Or, if the doc thinks he needs to know for his own records, fine. I don't. And I always request they not tell me what I weigh. 

Is this just the same denial that people with obesity on "My 600-lb Life" practice? No. Because I know within about 25 pounds, what I weigh. I know how I feel, how my clothes fit, what I can do and can't do. I know what changes I've made in my life which have made me fitter (working a more active job and building muscle, which weighs more. I know my body shape (apple). I know our work schedule and how our SWSD (shift work sleep disorder) affects us. I know my age and how the older you get the easier it is to gain weight. And I can look in a mirror. 

A scale factors none of that in. And so yes, it may show that I have gained or even lost weight. I don't want to know because I will just agonize over it and hate myself. If I feel I've gained weight, I go back to the 1200 calorie diet for awhile. And I always look for ways to improve overall health, not just micromanage a number. 

June Jump to Weight Loss: How I lost 100 pounds with Get Moving Goals

Hi again! Keeping up with my 2023 monthly weight loss challenges, I'm issuing a June Jump to Weight Loss.  And I'll kick off by sharing how I lost 100 pounds setting Get Moving Goals. I've shared before how I got overweight and then obesity after losing two babies, spiraling into depression and working a more sedentary job. Part of how I lost 100 pounds was to get back to a more active lifestyle that kept me at a  healthy weight when the kids were younger. 

Before I list some Get Moving Goals, let's consider why we need to do this. Looking at the show "My 600-lb Life" we see people hoping for gastric bypass to end obesity. And while surgery helps, the main components in weight loss are calorie restricting on a 1200 calorie diet and getting moving. "My 600-lb Life" folks didn't get to morbid obesity by keeping busy but by avoiding activity: Laying when they could sit, sitting when they could stand, watching when they could be doing, riding when they could walk, making others do for them what they could do for themselves. "My 600-lb Life" take the path of least resistance and it leads ultimately to the gastric bypass surgery table. 

To avoid or beat obesity, I'm going to do the opposite. For my June Jump to Weight Loss challenge, I'll create work for myself, as it were, with Get Moving Goals. 

1) Stand more than sit, walk more than ride, do more than watch, do for more than be done for. 

1) Active vs. passive work. Working for Shipt (rather than the sedentary WFH computer job) is part of how I lost 100 pounds but also keep it off. 

2) Care for kids. Chasing, carrying, cleaning up after, and playing with grandkids is a great weight loss trick but also a surefire mood lifter. 

3) Cook "from scratch." "My 600-lb Life" shows gastric bypass patients eating a lot of junk food before surgery. I find it harder to maintain my 1200 calorie diet if I eat processed or restaurant food. So I'm doing like Rocco DiSpirito and "cooking my butt off." 

4) Clean up my act. Hate gyms and fitness routines? Me too! My workaround is to simply keep busy working around the house and yard. Garden, clean, vacuum, mop, mow, tidy, rake, wash, hang clothes out and scrub those pounds away! 

One caveat however, all this work has left me with some pretty big guns, but that's not all bad, I guess! 😆😎😅😄😏

How I lost 100 pounds with one surprise trick: weight loss without diet

 Hiya friends of this blog on how I lost 100 pounds. I've not posted in awhile because I've been busy with grandkids in one way or another, which brings me to the topic of today's post. Weight loss without diet. You heard me right. Here's one trick to lose weight that will surprise you. 

Most weight loss methods focus on diet and certainly the 1200 calorie diet was core to how I lost 100 pounds. But another component to shedding obesity had nothing to do with any eating plan. It's a step that many diets and most fitness plans overlook. And that's by simply keeping busy doing daily family activities. 

In my case, weight loss involved a lot of child care. When our children were younger I never had a bit of trouble maintaining a healthy weight/body size because I was busy non-stop with all that goes into tending to a large family: cooking, cleaning, laundry, carrying, nursing babies, playing with children, shopping, running (literally) errands, etc., etc.

I only started to struggle with obesity after losing two stillborn babies in 3 years. Anxiety and depression went from severe to life-threatening. I took the antidepressant Paxil (which is notorious for causing weight gain) and began working from home at a sedentary job. I couldn't and didn't keep up. I lost my shit on a daily basis. One of the
side effects was that I got very overweight. 

I was able to quit Paxil and all antidepressants and that actually started me on a mission to get happier, which coincidently or not, was a big part of how I lost 100 pounds. Fast forward to 2023 (how time flies) and kids are grown and flown but now there are grandkids to keep me busy. And the surprise was how caring for them still keeps the weight off, at almost 60 years old. Also, once I quit Paxil, I never looked back. 

So I can hear some of you saying, that's all well and fine but I don't have kids or grandkids (or any nearby). Well, you can still lose weight or maintain a healthy body size by caring for pets, doing yard or housework and keeping active. 

The show "My 600-lb Life" shows what happens when we don't keep active. Every single one of the gastric bypass patients shown is not only crippled by obesity but also morbidly lazy. "My 600-lb Life" shows people doing nothing but sitting or laying and eating. After putting them on the 1200 calorie diet, gastric bypass surgeon Dr. Now's main objective is to get them up and moving. 

And the ironic thing is that the path to obesity was relatively short but the road to recovery is long and it's made longer not only by the overeating but also the over-sitting and under-moving. More on that later. 

For now, let's jump into June by setting some get moving goals.