Does HAES promote obesity and eschew weight loss? 8 Ball says yep

Most everyone my age probably remembers the Magic 8 Ball which you asked random questions and received random answers based on the luck of the roll. A concerning movement,  HAES (Healthy at Every Size) seems to advocate obesity and eschew weight loss. And based on a variety of things, I'd say it's about as reliable as a Magic 8 Ball in determining how healthy one is. 

HAES proclaims to be about healthy living through movement and eating nutritionally. But its prospectus promotes "flexible, individualized eating based on hunger, satiety, nutritional needs, and pleasure, rather than any externally regulated eating plan focused on weight control." And on exercise, it supports "physical activities that allow people of all sizes, abilities, and interests to engage in enjoyable movement, to the degree that they choose" (or don't it seems). 

To me, that reads "ignore the scale, it's all healthy, eat what you want as long as you enjoy it and move or don't if you don't feel like it. And if anyone calls you overweight (including a trained medial professional), blame them for "stigmatizing" and body-shaming." Anyone who's been overweight or is will tell you, that's music to the ears. Finally someone gets it. I'm not fat, obese, call it what you like, I'm misunderstood.  

Not only is it not my fault, I'm not responsible to do anything about it because 200-300 pounds overweight, is just as healthy as normal weight. Why WOULD anyone attempt weight loss after being told they're just as healthy no matter what and how much they eat and how little if any they move?

Okay so I get that body positivity is important but so is truthfulness. You don't have to hate yourself, and of course shouldn't,  to admit you need to lose weight. But can anyone be really body positive when they are lugging around the equivalent of 4 cases of water with every step? NO! It's exhausting and depressing. And on that note, I've found that almost everyone who turns to HAES, has depression, is lethargic, etc. They are not the smiling faces shown on the website. HAES would say that's because they've been body shamed for obesity and once they start loving themselves at any size, depression goes away. Ehh, that's a really big risk to take and very likely not going to to work. When you are very overweight, you are literally weighed down (refer to my water bottle analogy) and depression is a logical outcome. 

In fact, almost everyone I've talked to in my 100-lb weight loss journey feels better after they lose weight. Most of us didn't want to move because extra pounds made us tired and depressed. I suggest ideas feed the shocking rise in obesity, obesity related health issues and gastric bypass surgeries.  I think Dr. Now of "My 600-lb Life" would like a word with HAES. Ask patients on "My 600-lb Life" how happy they aren't being so big.

Maybe you're thinking, oh but really, HAES isn't talking about being THAT overweight and healthy?? But I think they are. If there's no such thing as unhealthy weight, why not 400-600 pounds? As long as we don't mention health risks, they don't exist, right? As long as people are happy overeating and not moving, it's okay (and they are perfectly happy overeating and not moving, watch any episode of "My 600-lb Life"). What they are not happy about is the early death looming. Because you can be as body positive as you want, you can't magic away diabetes, heart failure, blood clots, lymphedema, sepsis and the other buffet of killers associated with obesity. 

 

Body shaming, modesty policing and "inappropriate" dress: what's REALLY behind it?

Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to modesty police. Every day, my home page features a woman saying she's been body shamed for "inappropriate work attire" and asking if her outfit is appropriate. Often, a large number will chime in faulting the clothing as immodest, NSFW or worse, especially when the woman is curvy. When we start down the path of criticizing others, it's a short, slippery slope to shaming. 

What's behind this obsession with body-shaming? Why do we feel entitled to comment and judge another's clothing choice? Well, the superficial answer is, that she did ask. But what prompted her to ask is, that supposedly her style choice was commented on in real life. I say supposedly because I sometimes wonder how often it really happens and how often it's an opportunity to show off. 

Now that sounds like shaming in itself. But it's not. We're a world, obsessed with looks and bodies, AKA, the superficial. We've rewarded people, particularly women, for flaunting themselves. We've told them that looks only matter. We've turned many people, again, particularly women, to pathological, unquenchable attention-seeking. 

Are many of the women who post images of themselves, what social media calls "pick me?" "Pick me" is another term for exhibitionist, someone so desperate for attention that s/he will attempt to one-up others of the same gender, usually in objectifying ways. So the answer is, yes. Often the original poster does come across as "pick me." 

But that doesn't answer why so many people negatively comment or "modesty police" the outfit in question. Some seem to get a thrill out of body shaming. They aren't objective or helpful and are insulting, almost slanderous. And it seems to be to be getting worse thanks to social media. 

We don't know anything about the commenters themselves. They hide behind anonymity and say things in much more exaggerated ways than they would if they would in real life. They feign this brash courageous outspoken, "telling it like it is" when if they were face to face would never say such outlandish things. We also don't know how they personally look or dress or if they might also be questioned on modesty. 

Unfortunately, the loudest are usually the most vulnerable. People in glass houses are often the first to cast stones. The most outspokenly critical, like the Duggar family, usually have the most skeletons. I have made it a stern policy to avoid casting stones. For one thing, I'm not perfect. I know that judging others opens me to judgement. Mostly, because stones hurt. 

So why is shaming such a national pastime? Folks like the Duggar family have a reality TV show based on criticizing others. I suggest the reason stems from hypocrisy, fear and schadenfreude. Hypocrisy tells people like the Duggar family, and social media body-shamers that they are ubermensch, above the rules, and that it's their job to blame and shame others to get them on their definition of righteousness. 

They also fear exposure of their own foibles, immodesty and inappropriate behavior. And schadenfreude is the love of seeing someone made to look foolish, to distract attention from their own foolish behavior. Of which modesty policing is an example. Because the truth is that no one can really define what is and isn't appropriate in the wide world of clothing. And it isn't even about clothing but a need to see someone else feel uncomfortable.  

Reactions to Missy Elliott's weight loss highlight dilemma: to praise or not to

Rapper Missy Elliot showed stunning weight loss recently and the crowd went wild...mostly. A few comments expressed concern about how we praise weight loss as if it makes us somehow better than we were before losing weight.  Reactions to Missy Elliott, pounds lighter, highlight a dilemma most of us experience when we lose weight or notice that someone has lost weight. I call it the "to praise or not" proposition or "what are we praising, exactly?" 

I lost 100 pounds about nine years ago (without gastric bypass) and my weight  loss has been called "jaw-dropping" and "stunning" I've been called "unrecognizable" to my prior self. Anyone who has lost weight can probably attest to similar comments. And while this feels really good, it does set off little voices in your head that don't. Maybe I'm alone in this but it made me wonder, when I was obese, was I really that shockingly overweight? Did I look that bad? Was I unacceptable and now I am?

Don't get me wrong. I felt superb after weight loss. I was proud of  myself. I knew I looked very different before and after I lost 100 pounds. And I wasn't at all offended by these comments. They were meant in the kindest of ways. And I was in denial about how far into obesity I had gone. However, it begs the question, that some Missy Elliott fans have asked. Was I a better person? Was I ugly and now not? I think the answer is obviously, No. 

Although even that has a caveat. I did feel ugly when I was very overweight. I did not hold myself with confidence and was camera awkward. I felt out of control and honestly a little foolish that I'd let myself get so obese. So how much of this low self esteem is historic for me? Quite a lot. I've struggled with a little anorexia type thinking all my life. When I weighed 109 in college I still felt overweight and fat. 

Were people saying that, though? You were ugly and now you're not. Well, sure there will always be the judgy fat-shaming folks, let's face it. When I wrote for Yahoo! before I lost 100 pounds, some commenters would insult me not for the content but for being overweight. Which of course had nothing to with anything and was ignorant. But armchair critics will do that...hide behind their little avatars and mock. 

I don't believe that the people who praised my weight loss were saying anything negative about me when I was overweight. They were recognizing and praising the hard work I'd put into calorie restricting, practicing, portion control etc. Some friends were actually reluctant to say anything because they were afraid I'd take it wrong. But anyone who's ever lost weight by choice, will tell you, praise away!! We need all the affirmation we can get. 

Just make sure to verify if they meant to lose weight. During our first bout of Covid 19, my husband lost 17 pounds in a week. He did NOT want to. Several friends commented that they wished they could lose weight. No you don't, we said. Covid 19 or other illness related weight loss is  not to be envied. Covid 19 is starvation weight loss and really scary. Then there was Mariah Carey's famous cringe-worthy comment about wishing she could lose weight like the "kids in Africa." Ouch. 

So if you do compliment someone one weight loss, do it with tact. Make sure it doesn't come across as "way to go! You look human now!" The key is to make it about them, not you. 

Covid 2.0: A bit more coherent, less ranty discussion

 Hello friends, a few days ago I posted a pretty raw rant about my husband getting Covid 19 again despite being vaxxed and taking every precaution. And I want to set the record straight because I fear I may not have been clear. (You tend not to be when you are scared for someone you love). So first off, yes, I got Covid (Omicron) too, no surprise. I was expecting to. And second, I was not faulting the Covid 19 vaccine for us getting it again. I get how this works: the vaccine doesn't prevent you getting Covid 19. It just helps prevent you dying from it. 

It doesn't prevent others near you getting it because for one thing Omicron is more contagious though typically less dangerous. What prevents the spread is a larger population getting vaccinated AND following protocol of distancing, wearing masks, quarantining, etc. Which was the gist of my rant a few days ago. Covid deniers and pooh-pooh-ers won't do either, mask up or get vaccinated. And that angers more for myself and mostly for others. 

It sounds so pious to prat "faith over fear" until you've had Covid or Omicron variant. When you are coughing yourself raw, so hard that you can't catch a breath, coughing so hard you gag and vomit and wet yourself, you aren't thinking much about faith or fear. You are just trying to keep oxygenated and not choke to death on your own phlegm. And don't get me started on the headaches, body aches, dehydration delirium and (worst of all) long haul Covid brain fog. Which I had not yet recovered from (if I ever will) after Covid round one 20 months ago. 

So far, Omicron seems shorter and in some ways less severe. We didn't get the revolving door fever --102 at night, breaks in the morning, spikes again at night, lather, rinse repeat for 14 solid days. We didn't get dehydrated (with crippling headaches, delirium, orange poop, brown pee) but because we were prepared with Body Armor. We haven't had any appetite so weight loss is a real probability which for me won't be a big deal but for Albert, who lost 17 pounds in a week and doesn't have a lot to spare, is. And really this kind of weight loss is good for no one. 

I'm sorry to be so graphic. Or am I? Sometimes blunt is the only way to wake people up. It's time to stop stop talking in cutesy, meaningless sound bytes, time to quit turning a blind eye, and downplaying Covid's seriousness. Time to quit flinging fairy dust in people's eye's to distract them from the real issues. To quit making up falsehoods (lying), quit faulting the "liberal media" or Joe Biden. It is time to begin taking seriously our own part in the spread of this life-altering and sometimes life-ending disease.

Covid 2, Husband 0

 And we're in quarantine again because husband came down with Covid again. And I wanna know how????God love the man, he sanitizes (and has since Covid Day One) his belt and wallet!! He wore his mask religiously, got vaccinated, donned a crap ton of extra protective equipment at work. WENT to work because they were deemed essential. That's not as cools as it sounds.  Cuz turns out, work was where he got Covid (prior to vaccines) which he shared with me.

He never bitched once about "his rights" to make a fool of himself whining about closed restaurants. He never pissed and moaned about employer mandated vaccines. He always looked out for everyone wearing his mask. He social distanced. Unlike the 8 VACCINE-REFUSING UNMASKED FAMILY MEMBERS at church, laughing and talking and lining up for confession DURING A PANDEMIC!! And other "good Christian" homeschool families who proudly flaunted themselves in stores with no masks. I gave my friend list a good spring cleaning after that.  

Husband didn't endanger himself or others denying Covid or stupidly pratting "faith over fear." Whatever the that means, I don't know and the espousers sure as hell don't. FAITH is trusting God's will be done, not clicking your ruby slippers together and declaring you won't get Covid because you supposedly love God. If you love God, you do as He says and be a good human. Be concerned about others over your mythological "rights." You don't tell everyone else how to live their lives (which is very unscriptural) and then refuse to do the simplest things to hopefully keep others safe. You don't soil yourself over mandated vaccines. With so much exploitation, oppression, marginalization and tyranny from the right wing party alone, fucking pick a real hill to die on. 

In Covid round one, he did his time and a lot of other people's too. For 14 solid days, he fevered, coughed, got dehydrated, was deathly sick and lost 17 pounds in a week. I was sick too. Like could not breathe coughing sick. They tell you to go to ER if you can't breathe. How do you know which cough is going to be the one that stops you? And how can you call if you can't breathe? And then there's the dehydration delirium which makes you so confused you barely know who you are. 

I don't say this in criticism of CDC protocol. Just stating the crux of the problem that when you are in the throes of illness you can't very well access health services. You don't dare to ask anyone for help in case you infect them. 

High Protein Keto Chicken Salad recipe for Fat Free February Weight Loss Challenge

Hiya friends of this blog on how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass! From No my Junk January weight loss challenge we're keeping up the momentum with Fat Free February. No fat free as in zero or lowfat, but targeted fat burning calorie restricting to lose weight and shed stored fat. Here's a zero sugar high protein keto chicken salad recipe to satisfy cravings, fill you up and beat obesity. 

So you know that wonderful "gourmet chicken salad" that so many grocery store delis make? I adore that stuff. And while it's pretty good for filling me up, it's also loaded with a lot of bad fat, sugar and sodium. That's because, like so many potato or pasta salads, it's slop-forward (AKA too much sauce) and healthy ingredient backward. My recipe features protein and veggie forward and very light on the slop. 

High protein chicken salad

Dice chicken breast seasoned with little olive oil, garlic powder, onion powder, celery salt and cracked black pepper.  Grill or saute and set aside to cool. 

Halve and slice baby cucumbers and purple grapes. Dice cantaloupe. Slice scallions and chop celery, apple, cilantro, yellow and red pepper. Toss chicken and veggies with cashews, almonds, pecans or mixed nuts and celery seed. You can add chopped cole slaw mix (red shred, cabbage and carrots) if desired. This will give you value added rainbow diet fat burning goodness. 

Blend Dijon mustard, wasabi, avocado mayo and lime juice and lightly coat chicken salad mix. Refrigerate and serve on a bed of lettuce. Eat foods like this high protein zero sugar (or no added sugar, anyway) chicken salad is how I lost 100 pounds. Subscribe for more Fat Free February weight loss tips and fat burning recipes.  

Oh and if you don't have all of these fruits or veggies on hand, don't worry about it! Just do your best. My most recent version didn't have any peppers. But it's still delicious! 

#FatFreeFebruary #HowIlost100pounds

Fat Free February: Zero sugar Keto protein power bread for weight loss

Hi guys! After finishing my No Junk January weight loss challenge, let's keep going with Fat Free February! Not fat free as in zero fat; if the keto diet has taught me anything about weight loss, it's that eating "good fat" MUFA, PUFA and even some saturated fats in meat, avocados and coconut oil, burns stored fat (white adipose tissue). The trick is balancing fiber, protein and fats. So, here's a keto diet recipe for zero added sugar (and no sugar substitutes either) keto protein power bread. 

Part of how I lost 100 pounds, without gastric bypass was to satisfy that craving for sweets with revamped diet versions of favorite recipes. And I looove sweet breads. Not intestines, but literally sweet dessert bread, like banana bread. This keto protein bread combines high fiber metabolism boost, with natural fruit sweeteners, date goodness and nut and seed fat blast. 

Keto protein bread for weight loss

Ingredients:

Two cups almond flour

1/2 tsp Himalayan salt

2 tsp baking soda

1 cup crushed mixed nuts (this is by way of being a leftover use up recipe for stale nuts)

2 T chia seeds

chopped Medjool or other dates

6 T milled flaxseed (sub for eggs)

2 ripe mashed bananas

1 c. homemade sugarfree applesauce (basically just stewed milled apples)

1 c. Greek yogurt

dash of vanilla

Mix first seven dry ingredients and blend last 4 moist ingredients separately, then mixed together. Fold in 1 cup berries (blueberries, strawberries, raspberries, cranberries or blackberries). Taste batter and if not salty enough, add a little more salt. Turn into two bread pans coated with cooking spray. Bake at 325 degrees for 55 minutes or so. I eat this for breakfast. 

Did I mention this zero sugar keto bread is heart healthy, for Valentine's Day? Stay tuned to this blog on how I lost 100 pounds, for more calorie restricting diet recipes. Here's to Fat Free February weight loss!