Body Shaming Dangers, Why You Should Be Body Positive and How to Do It

<--This is me in 2013, 65# overweight. --> is me in 2020. In 7 years, I've spent a lot of time thinking and writing about body size. Body-shaming, fat-shaming, body image...these terms have gotten a lot of media attention in recent years. This is down to several issues in our culture. First, more people are getting fat and fatter. So more attention is put on weight. Second, it is becoming more socially acceptable to call out, shame and harass fat people. Third, this bullying is finally getting recognized as such. People who used to tolerate and expect shaming and even self-shame (raises hand) are now realizing how damaging it is. They (we) are fighting back.

We are trying to teach ourselves to be kinder to our bodies. And part of that is learning to love it the way it is. Because before you try to change something, you have to accept it. Al-Anon has shown us that (along with many other self-care tools). Do some people go overboard with the body positivity, asking us to accept that being 200 pounds is just fine, even beautiful? Sure. But it's a pendulum process...social norms that have been extreme in one direction must swing far in the other direction before coming to land somewhere in a happy medium.

The ultimate goal, then, must be to first love ourselves and our bodies as they are...precious gifts from our Heavenly Father. Then and only then can we begin the process of getting them to healthier places, e.g. with weight loss, fitness initiatives, etc. And let me just pause to mention here that it's not just folks who are overweight who struggle with body issues. Being underweight can be just as difficult, perhaps moreso. For some people, it's easier to lose weight than put it on, believe it or not. But still healthy body image is the essential first step.

If you read my post from a few days ago, you'll remember that I promised some homework to practice body positivity skills. A lot of negativity exists in our heads. We imagine that people are thinking or saying things about us. Whether they are or aren't doesn't really matter. We become paranoid and begin to see ourselves as we believe they see us. So we start by changing our minds, literally. Here's how.

1) Start analyzing negative thoughts and feelings. Figure out where they are coming from. Was someone rude to you? Did they give you a funny look? Are you feeling vulnerable today? Are you unhappy with the way you look?
2) HALT: That's an acronym for hungry, angry, lonely, tired: are you any of those? Then you will not be at your best. Everything will look bleaker. Don't put too much emphasis on negative feelings and thoughts but do work to correct hunger, anger, loneliness and exhaustion.
3) Fix your tape recorder. Erase negative messages playing in your head: "I'm fat." "I'm ugly." "I'm a loser." "People don't like me." "I don't like me." (you know the kind). Make new, healthier messages. "I'm pretty (handsome)" "I'm a winner." etc. Yes, you'll feel silly at first. You'll live...do it anyway! No, you may not really mean it...you will in time. Fake it till you make it. Practice doesn't make perfect but it does make things a lot better.

Herein ends part one of the lesson. Love you all bunches!! 

I think fat, therefore I am...or not?

Seen on Facebook recently, a post which makes excellent food for thought (oh I do love my puns) about body image and fat. The question was asked why we say we (or others) ARE fat or thin. It was noted that we don't say "I am brown hair" or "I am beard." We say "I HAVE brown hair or a beard." These are physical attributes and so are body sizes and shapes. Isn't it bad enough that we fault ourselves for being overweight (or underweight)? Must we also let the scale tell us who we are?

I've worked very hard for several years to shed some excess pounds and keep them off. I'm proud of this weight loss. But the inside core has not changed, now that I am smaller. I may look and feel different, better, healthier, etc. but Marilisa is no different. I am still kind, friendly, easily annoyed, loving, somewhat lazy. Arguably I'm happier and less self-conscious but my me-ness remains. And it is TONS bigger and more important that a scale number.


Why do we let our body size become us? It stems from plus-size negativity regarding bigger bodies. Unkind words, shaming, social stigma, bullying, media messages all focus heavily on weight, more than any other physical feature. And it has become socially acceptable, even encouraged, to shame people who are fat...oops, see, even I said it...I mean who have extra fat. It's as if fat negates every other aspect of us.


Some people feel it's their duty to call attention to someone's weight problems. Hilariously,, it's often people who themselves could stand to lose 10 or 90 pounds! And overweight people come to expect it and sometimes even mock themselves! This is a deadly vicious circle. Are you caught in this cycle? Do you shame yourself and/or allow others to?  I'm going to assign some homework to help you break it. I'll blog more on that shortly.

Shipt brings the magic...and the weight loss!

Greetings fellow skinny seekers, I haven't been blogging for awhile but thought I'd better stop by and clean up the old place as I'm expecting company (more on that later). The reason for the blog hiatus  is that I've been insanely busy with a new gig (hate that word but it pretty much defines service industry work which many of us have resorted to in this tenuous economy).

I'm now delivering groceries for Shipt and I have found that this dovetails nicely with diet. As you may or may not know, I'm writing a manual and planning a series on weight management (as I'm now calling this diet thing). The irony is that sedentary and at home work like writing and online businesses are a nemesis to good health in general and losing weight in particular.

I managed to lose 100 pounds while being self-employed in online work but it was made so much more difficult by lack of  exercise and having food constantly within arm's reach. BUT... (and that's a big but, not as in behinds, you with the snarky mind LOL), shopping groceries has been golden for keeping the pounds off. I'm not even following the diet as well as a I should and yet the weight keeps coming off and fat cells converting into muscle.

I'm not able to do many kinds of vigorous exercise due to arthritis and scoliosis but shopping I can do. Plus, being busy and unable to eat prevents mindless snacking which is the bane of computer work. Shipt not only brings groceries to members it can bring improved fitness and health to shoppers! 

'My 600-lb Life'-type no-carb weight loss recipes with Weight Watchers free food

You want some pointless information? You should, because in this case, it's not useless, but zero points, as in Weight Watchers. The famous weight loss program tracks points so "pointless" or free foods, you can eat as much as you want. Here are recipes with ketogenic and paleo-free foods. With tweaks, these can be used for vegetarian, vegan or gastric bypass surgery diets which Dr. Now of "My 600-lb Life" gives patients.   

'My 600-lb Life' proves weight loss can even help you stay healthy in flu season

 At first glance, TLC's reality TV show "My 600-lb Life" is about obesity, bariatric surgery, and hopefully, weight loss. But as folks lose weight, they find other health problems clearing up too. Losing weight also strengthens broken autoimmune systems. Here's what we can learn from the gastric bypass patients about healing mind, body, spirit and even staying healthy in Flu season. Most of the information from this article is thanks to reports by Newsweek and TLC.  

'My 600-lb Life'-type no-carb weight loss recipes with Weight Watchers free food

You want some pointless information? You should, because in this case, it's not useless, but zero points, as in Weight Watchers. The famous weight loss program tracks points so "pointless" or free foods, you can eat as much as you want. Here are recipes with ketogenic and paleo-free foods. With tweaks, these can be used for vegetarian, vegan or gastric bypass surgery diets which Dr. Now of "My 600-lb Life" gives patients.  

'Honey Boo Boo' Mama June admits to gaining after weight loss but that could be a good thing

Is reality TV diva Mama June falling back into obesity after her weight loss makeover on the first season of "From Not to Hot?" That's what she says. Is it normal for the pendulum to swing back a bit after huge weight loss? (it is)Does it  matter that June Shannon lost weight with bariatric surgery (it does). But it may not matter to fans or even critics. The once 461-lb pageant mom of "Honey Boo Boo" Alana Thompson was not a favorite among TLC viewers, but is gaining support for her frank admissions of weight gain. And being honest about weight gain, instead of lying or fudging numbers is one of the healthiest things you can do.    'Honey Boo Boo' Mama June admits weight loss fail and folks love her for it