This blog explores how I lost 100 pounds but also a lot more about obesity, weight loss and gain and body image in general. Today I'm looking at social messages that contribute to body image dysmorphia, eating disorders and obesity. I'm aiming responsibility squarely at the Incel (involuntary celibate) online community and other manosphere BS.
Incels are a group of folks who can't get relationships but blame everyone else for that. It didn't start that way, and was initially a small, somewhat fringy group that actually tried to help themselves and others. But incels have devolved into extreme right-wing, sexist, misognynystic, male and white supremist terrorist and haters. Who actually call themselves Christian (!) With a growing cult following. And garbage like they spew is the electrical current that powers body image dysmorphia. 
It's ludicrous because the very thing that incels whine about is that they can't get women (sex--which they believe they deserve) because they aren't attractive to them. They blame-shame women for being shallow. Several incel terrorist attacks have taken place at spas, fitness clubs and yoga studios. Supposedly, these women were taunting them but the real reason is obviously lust. They also hypocritically crave "attractive" women but fault them for trying to improve their looks. The entire incel vocab consists of vulgar, sexualized, objectified misogyny. Don't look it up unless you want to feel sick.
So how is the manosphere related to weight loss or obesity? This dripping poison shames women for everything. If they don't keep fit, lose weight, etc, they're ugly slobs. If they do care about appearance and health, they are vain Jezebels enticing poor men into lusting after them. Damned if ya do, damned if ya don't.
You might be thinking, but this is just a small group of wackos. How could they influence female thinking, let alone social mores? Because manosphere speak is an ancient tongue. Sexism is as old as, well, forever. It's wormed its way into every area of life. It's been drilled into women's heads: you are a sex toy but a sl*t if you like it. You should BE "attractive" but shouldn't try to be. You should be "modest" but also alluring. I could go on and on. In short, you can't win.
So what's the solution? Well, shut down hate groups, obviously. Stop buying the "free speech" crap. Call out misogyny. Mock them into silence. But most importantly, sister, don't give the negativity a home. Stop letting broken psychos define you. Lose weight or not because it's right for you. Be attractive to yourself. You don't owe anyone anything beside basic courtesy.
PS This isn't a man vs. woman thing. My advice goes for guys, too. My heart goes out to guys who feel like losers, or even identify as an incel. But it's not someone else's fault you feel that way. It's not someone else's responsibility to fix you. Like yourself, or at least begin trying to. At the root, is self-hatred, stinkin thinkin and autoshame. Do you, to the best of your ability.
Love you all! Stay tuned for more on how I lost 100 pounds (and blame shame, stinkin thinkin and low self esteem).
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