Thursday, November 9, 2023

How I lost 100 pounds by identifying and avoiding anxiety triggers

 Hello my dear friends of this blog on how I lost 100 pounds without gastric bypass surgery or weight loss drugs. Today, as part of my November Attitude of Gratitude weight loss challenge, I'm looking at stress/anxiety triggers and how they led me to overweight and obesity. Said differently, I'll show how I lost 100 pounds by identifying those stress and anxiety triggers. 

What does anxiety have to do with weight gain? Well if you've ever struggled obesity or weight gain, you get it. Emotional or comfort eating, binge eating, depression, exhaustion, sedentary lifestyle, withdrawal, fear of abandonment, social avoidance, all these interconnected. And sourcing the triggers was a major part of  how I lost 100 pounds. 

My life has been characterized by chronic and un-dealt-with low self esteem, feelings of FOG (fear, obligation and guilt) and CPTSD (complex post-traumatic stress disorder). I was raised to think that I was responsible for everyone: parents, step-parents, half-siblings, foster children. I was expected to do their work for them, was parentified and shamed into constant blind submission. On the other hand, I was periodically abandoned, neglected, emotionally and experience CSA. 

It was drummed into my head that I was to do and be whatever anyone wanted of me. But also that no matter how much I did or gave, it would never be enough. And that I should never stop seeking to be ever more people pleasing. You can imagine what problems this caused with personal boundaries. I didn't know where others stopped and I began. 

This created an ever-exploding Molotov cocktail of self-hatred.  It's only been since my husband has been helping me explore how really dysfunctional and bizarre this all was, that I've been able to rethink, reparent and find some healing. 

I wasn't overweight as a teen or young adult. It only began when I lost two stillborn daughters and began taking Paxil. But depression and anxiety was triggered by chronic nightmares from those early experiences. I was constantly exhausted. I had trouble finding energy to keep up. It was easier to put on weight, also. Working to identify trigger memories and unstick from FOG.


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